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#3751647 I Called In Sick Today

Posted BigDMcGee on 04 January 2017 - 04:05 PM

and after 3 days, he is risen!

#3738148 I Called In Sick Today

Posted David_Sklansky on 20 June 2016 - 10:34 AM

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

#3699513 Things/people That Are Overexposed Or Underexposed.

Posted Vegas Knights on 27 April 2015 - 05:58 PM

View PostNapa Lite, on 27 April 2015 - 04:15 PM, said:

Underexposed :...Vegas Knights...
Maybe if the poker themed screenplay recieved 4 honors instead of just 3 it would get more exposure.

#3661234 I Called In Sick Today

Posted AmScray on 27 May 2014 - 10:56 PM

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.

It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me.
I was dating a bluegum negress named Marlice.

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We were walking out from a CVS after picking up the evenings provisions (Assorted 2 liters of fruit flavored Fanta, one can: honey roasted peanuts and a Massengil Douchebag) when the bum outside asked Marlice for change.

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She was surprised, I was drunk and in a raging hurry up and get home for our game of "Massuh Sez" so instead of just ignoring him, I took all the change I had in my pocket and fastballed it in his face.

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I am not proud of that, I was an ******* but shockingly enough, apparently, the whore had a heart of gold because she immediately launched into some tirade about 'being raised for Jesus' and doing that black girl thing.

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So I wound up leaving them both there and went home and shot up the dope for the both of us.

#3715771 I Called In Sick Today

Posted CobaltBlue on 12 October 2015 - 12:14 PM

Second daughter was born today. She is beautiful like her sister.

#3759742 Essay's Top Ten

Posted FCP Bob on 09 July 2017 - 05:44 PM

View Posthank213, on 09 July 2017 - 05:09 PM, said:

Honestly, how many of those have you never seen? Because the answer is either "several" or you are clearly out yo gotdamn mind.

I think he really really relates to Home Alone just for the title.

#3743303 I Called In Sick Today

Posted JubilantLankyLad on 18 September 2016 - 05:58 PM

So you've been laying around in bed since mid-June and couldn't post a single "I'm dying-ish" post?

Dead to me.

#3723685 I Called In Sick Today

Posted frautotenkinder on 23 December 2015 - 06:01 PM

Well 3/5ths of it anyway.

#3710843 A H L Discussion

Posted FCP Bob on 01 September 2015 - 03:14 PM

and sorry about not having everything up to date yet contract wise. I'll be working on that the next couple days and will have it all done hopefully before the weekend but if not over the weekend for sure.

My Mother's procedure last week went well. It was exploratory and there were no surprises which is a good thing. She'll find out on Friday when her major surgery is but it should be in September. She'll be in hospital for probably 3 days and then about 6 weeks recovery to get back to normal but her tumor is one that can be treated with surgery and the most likely result is she goes on with her life after recovery as before just with a lot of follow up checking but without any chemo or radiation.

#3705436 I Called In Sick Today

Posted Napa Lite on 30 June 2015 - 12:21 PM


Strat would tell you that my clothes reasoning doesn't hold up when you factor in the missed value of a payraise but I counter with VALUE THIS! :grabs crotch:

#3675415 I Called In Sick Today

Posted Tiltinagain on 07 October 2014 - 05:11 PM

Job offered and accepted today. Going to give notice tomorrow. I'm going to offer to stay until the end of the month, just over 3 weeks, which is exceedingly fair I think. Then will start the new job November 1st. Pretty excited to get out of this industry and not have to deal with 20 yo barely literate employees all day.

#3663300 I Called In Sick Today

Posted Iphonenkinder on 13 June 2014 - 10:27 AM

Flip hole or apple product.

#3614464 I Called In Sick Today

Posted Essay21 on 04 September 2013 - 06:33 AM

Yeah hanky, what's your wife's rate for an hour of unpacking?

#3612236 I Just Finished Building An Illegal Shed Out Of Garbage.

Posted AmScray on 22 August 2013 - 07:52 PM

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#3578818 I Called In Sick Today

Posted JubilantLankyLad on 30 January 2013 - 10:45 AM

View PostiZuma, on 30 January 2013 - 10:42 AM, said:

on the bright side I just discovered the cure for penis scurvy

Switch hands occasionally?

Oh, no, sorry, I misread.

#3749551 I Called In Sick Today

Posted Tiltinagain on 17 November 2016 - 08:44 PM

Saw my Oncologist today. Blood work back to normal, no lymphoma showing in spinal fluid, all vitals great. Final chemo treatment Sunday then they expect to consider me in remission. We will continue spinal infusions for a couple weeks to ensure that stays clear then do a Pet Scan (its a machine that scans your body for cancer cells) in about 3 weeks to verify all cancer is gone and/or if any other treatment is necessary but good news indeed.

#3702496 Essay's Top Ten

Posted frautotenkinder on 30 May 2015 - 01:59 PM

I'm assuming my jokes are valued at .77 of a man's.

#3699149 Musings From A Man Who Enjoys Symbolism And Metaphor In Ways Most Men Don't

Posted Mr. Zimmerlin on 24 April 2015 - 11:30 AM

Musing From A Man Who Knows Just What To Do If Aliens Come

When they first get here, we have to PLAY IT COOL. For sure we'll show them the Mona Lisa, but if they don't like it, we'll be like "yeah, it's our very worst painting", AS WE BITE OUR FISTS IN UNISON.

When they tell us how high they can count, we can't ACT OVERLY IMPRESSED. We almost got that high too JUST LAST JULY, but then we stopped because we had that BBQ to go to. THE ONE AT SUSAN'S HOUSE.

If they call our bluff, we'll CHANGE THE SUBJECT. That's a pretty nice spaceship you have, do you think we could TAKE IT FOR A SPIN? No we're not familiar with quasar powered vehicles. We probably don't even KNOW WHAT QUASARS ARE.

If they come during the night of our annual police gala, let's all agree to say THE GALA HAPPENS EVERY NIGHT. If that doesn't impress them, we'll need to de-escalate the situation by PRETENDING WE DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH.

#3689454 I Called In Sick Today

Posted JubilantLankyLad on 11 February 2015 - 04:23 PM

Scared for some competition, Mr Ear Ring?

#3672252 I Called In Sick Today

Posted Iphonenkinder on 07 September 2014 - 11:33 AM

Probably why you shouldn't go around kissing women.