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Tonight I was invited to a game in the town I live in as a result of answering a listing at homepokergames.com. Approximately a half an hour into the game, the hosts parents (turns out the host and the other players were high school kids, which to me is no big deal) called him upstairs and about 10 minutes after that we were told we had to leave. Below I am going to post an e-mail I composed to the host as to my perception of the cause of this. I have not sent this yet as I am a serious coward. Please let me know what you think I should do. A little background, the neighborhood the host lived in is the most exclusive in our town. This is the email.**********************************************Drew,As I was driving home, it dawned on me as to what happened this evening at your house.Let me begin by apologizing for any problems my behavior may have caused you with your parents. When I walked up to your house, I encountered your parents in their garage and I asked your father if he was you. He said no and then he asked me who I was. In my haste and, in retrospect, my pure and sheer ignorance, I failed to answer your father's question to his satisfaction. In all humility, I must admit I made assumptions about who your parents were in relation to the neighborhood you live in. It never dawned on me that you were an African-American, and that the people in your garage were your parents. I assumed they were employees of the home owner and an explanation as to who I was, was not important. To say the least, I was feeling pretty awful when the full weight of my actions became clear to me.To you and the other guys playing tonight, I sincerely apologize for screwing up your game.To your parents, there really is no sufficient way to apologize. I could offer up a number of excuses, my age, society, etc. But the fact of the matter is I am clouded by a racist attitude that underlies and filters my perception of the world and my interaction with it. How I behaved was totally inexcusable, and in reality more harmful than overt forms of racism. This incident has caused me to reflect on my attitudes and how I need to change to avoid such incidents in the future.I hope you accept my apology. And if you do not respond to this e-mail, I will totally understand. Just know that what happened has had a significant impact and I hope will be a catalyst of change in me and my attitudes concerning race and how I perceive people regardless of the color of their skin. Again I offer my sincerest apologies.PSHitting the send button was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I can only hope I am way off base with this, but I get the feeling I am not. If necessary please show this correspondence to your parents so they will hopefully understand and let you and your friends continue playing the great game of poker.*********************************************Thank you,*L*T*

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Tonight I was invited to a game in the town I live in as a result of answering a listing at pokerhomegames.com. Approximately a half an hour into the game, the hosts parents (turns out the host and the other players were high school kids, which to me is no big deal) called him upstairs and about 10 minutes after that we were told we had to leave. Below I am going to post an e-mail I composed to the host as to my perception of the cause of this. I have not sent this yet as I am a serious coward. Please let me know what you think I should do. A little background, the neighborhood the host lived in is the most exclusive in our town. This is the email.**********************************************Drew,As I was driving home, it dawned on me as to what happened this evening at your house.Let me begin by apologizing for any problems my behavior may have caused you with your parents. When I walked up to your house, I encountered your parents in their garage and I asked your father if he was you. He said no and then he asked me who I was. In my haste and, in retrospect, my pure and sheer ignorance, I failed to answer your father's question to his satisfaction. In all humility, I must admit I made assumptions about who your parents were in relation to the neighborhood you live in. It never dawned on me that you were an African-American, and that the people in your garage were your parents. I assumed they were employees of the home owner and an explanation as to who I was, was not important. To say the least, I was feeling pretty awful when the full weight of my actions became clear to me.To you and the other guys playing tonight, I sincerely apologize for screwing up your game.To your parents, there really is no sufficient way to apologize. I could offer up a number of excuses, my age, society, etc. But the fact of the matter is I am clouded by a racist attitude that underlies and filters my perception of the world and my interaction with it. How I behaved was totally inexcusable, and in reality more harmful than overt forms of racism. This incident has caused me to reflect on my attitudes and how I need to change to avoid such incidents in the future.I hope you accept my apology. And if you do not respond to this e-mail, I will totally understand. Just know that what happened has had a significant impact and I hope will be a catalyst of change in me and my attitudes concerning race and how I perceive people regardless of the color of their skin. Again I offer my sincerest apologies.Joseph SandonePSHitting the send button was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I can only hope I am way off base with this, but I get the feeling I am not. If necessary please show this correspondence to your parents so they will hopefully understand and let you and your friends continue playing the great game of poker.*********************************************Thank you,*L*T*
I started busting up at this point...
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When I walked up to your house, I encountered your parents in their garage and I asked your father if he was you. He said no and then he asked me who I was. In my haste and, in retrospect, my pure and sheer ignorance, I failed to answer your father's question to his satisfaction. In all humility, I must admit I made assumptions about who your parents were in relation to the neighborhood you live in.
you made assumptions. but exactly what did you do? did you ignore them. were you rude, did you not say "hi parents" or did you say "can you take my coat"?
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haha man you are a dumb ****. i always thought you were pretty weird. this confirms it.the fact that you sent them an email about all this makes you even more of a wierdo. you would have never seen them again so who cares if you made yourself look like a complete idiot.

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you made assumptions. but exactly what did you do? did you ignore them. were you rude, did you not say "hi parents" or did you say "can you take my coat"?
Yeah, there's a sufficient lack of details here.
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If you're very confident that what you did offended them, then yes, excellent letter, you should send it. But from your letter it sounds like you just sort of brushed them off, and if this is all you did, I find it hard to believe that they would read that much into it. But, I don't know what exactly happened. But it is a good letter.

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i really hope none of this happened the way you think it did and they get this letter from you and think you are some kind of nutcase. then you will know you have ****ed up as much as you possibly could have.
yeah what i am assuming is that u walked up to this house, and saw the parents, and didnt treat them as parents and said o im here for a poker game and not treat them like o im here to play poker with jonny or somethingso whats the worst thing that happens, u never see these ppl again in ur life?
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That is the funniest thing I've heard in a while. I don't really know what kind of advice can help you. It's common sense that what you said was ignorant as hell.
What did I say? I believe the offense was not saying enough or according the father the proper respect when he asked me who I was. I know it's difficult to construe the situation in its entirety from this posting. But for the mother to come down to the basement and pull the plug on the game (myself and the 5 other guys continued to play while the host was arguing/discussing something/this with his parents. I know the average age in forum is late teens to early 20's. You guys have grown up in an almost colorblind society. (not really, but hear me out) I am 40+ years old. I grew up in the 60's and 70's. Definitely had a racist upbringing. I have overcome most of the influence that upbringing has had on my life. But obviously not all of it. I will wait to decide whether to send this or not till tommorow.*L*T*psDon Giovani, you base your assesment of my weirdness on what criteria? Just asking. I know I'm weird, but I fail to see how this topic relates to your assesment of my weirdeness.
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maybe they just didnt want their high school son and his friends hanging out in a basement with some creepy dude
You know, you could be seriously spot on. I guess I see poker and playing the game of poker as an equalizer. I just wanted to play, they needed more players, they didn't list any age restrictions on their posting. Really, it should have been no big deal. And I believe that if I had acted appropriately it would have been no big deal.*L*T*
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