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Eminem - Stan (Poker Version)


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Stan - poker song

 

MY TEAS GONE COLD IM WONDERING WHY, I GOT ON THE FELT AT ALL. THE MORNING RAIN DISRUPTS MY ROUTER, AND I CANT PLAY AT ALL. AND EVEN IF I COULD IT WOULD ALL BE ALL BE GREY, DO I RAISE, CHECK OR CALL. IT REMINDS ME, THAT IM SO BAD, IM SO BAD.

 

Dear Slim, I raised you but still ain't callin’

I limped preflop, checked the turn and on the river decided to pot it

I sent two messages in the chat, you must not-a got 'em

There probably was a problem with the software or somethin'

Sometimes I swear and they get starred out when I jot 'em

But anyways, **** it, what's been up, man? How you runnin’?

My girlfriend's pregnant, too, I'm 'bout to be a father

If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?

I'ma name her Ivey

I read about your Bad beat, too, I'm sorry

I had a friend kill himself over some bitch that 2 outed him

I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan

I even got the YouTube clip of you slow rolling Johnny chan

I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man

I like the hand you played with Antonius, too, that pot was phat

Anyways, I hope you get this, man, hit me back

Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan

This is Stan

 

MY TEAS GONE COLD IM WONDERING WHY, I GOT ON THE FELT AT ALL. THE MORNING RAIN DISRUPTS MY ROUTER, AND I CANT PLAY AT ALL. AND EVEN IF I COULD IT WOULD ALL BE ALL BE GREY, DO I RAISE, CHECK OR CALL. IT REMINDS ME, THAT IM SO BAD, IM SO BAD.

 

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or raised, I hope you have a chance

I ain't mad, I just think it's ****ed up when people tank,

And Why’d You have to knock me out the tourny last month

You didn't have to, but you coulda signed Autograph for Matthew

That's my little brother, man, he's only six years old

We waited on your whole time bank for you

For four minutes and you slow rolled

That's pretty shitty man, you're like his ****in' idol

He wants to play just like you, man, he studies you more than I do

Sometimes I push my stack to see how much it bleeds

And sometimes I get lucky, it’s such a sudden rush for me

See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it

My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I play poker 24/7

But she don’t play the game like I do, Slim, no one does

She doesn’t know what it’s like when someone shoves and you’ve got the nuts

You gotta call me, man, It'll be the biggest pot you'll ever lose

Sincerely yours, Stan

P.S.: I’ve only got pocket 2’s

 

MY TEAS GONE COLD IM WONDERING WHY, I GOT ON THE FELT AT ALL. THE MORNING RAIN DISRUPTS MY ROUTER, AND I CANT PLAY AT ALL. AND EVEN IF I COULD IT WOULD ALL BE ALL BE GREY, DO I RAISE, CHECK OR CALL. IT REMINDS ME, THAT IM SO BAD, IM SO BAD.

 

Dear Mister "I'm Too Good To Call Or Raise my hands"

This will be the last chat message I ever send your ass

It's been six minutes and still no decision, I don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two messages

No swearing at all, they were perfect

So this is my chat message I'm sending you, I hope you read it

I'm in the bog right now, I'm playing poker using 4G,

I love you, Slim, we coulda been all in together, think about it

You ruined it now, I hope you don’t call and you dream about it

And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it

I hope your internet dies and you can't breathe without me

See, Slim

(Shut up bitch! A hands being dealt)

Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend wanting to get on the felt

But I didn't tell her no, I just signed her up, see I ain't like you

'Cause if she plays shit she'll suffer more, and then she'll bust, too

Well, gotta go, We’re almost at the bubble now

Oh shit, I forgot, chat only let’s you type 60 characters out?

 

 

Dear Stan, I meant to call you sooner but I just been busy

You said your girlfriend's playing now, how good is she?

Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that

And here's an autograph for your brother

I wrote it on a PokerStars cap

I'm sorry I knocked you out that tourny, I had a pocket too,

Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to bust you

But what's this shit you said about you like to shove your stack with pocket 2’s

I say that shit just clownin', dawg

Come on, how tilted are you?

You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselling

To help your ass to stop slow playing Kings when you get dealt some

And what's this shit about us going all in together?

That’s the type of shit will make me not want us to play each other

I really think you and your girlfriend need each other

Or maybe you just need to teach her better

I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time

Before you bust yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine

If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but Stan

Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I didn’t mean to time bank

I just don't want you to do some crazy shit

I seen this one guy on the felt a couple weeks ago and he made me sick

Some dude was drunk and shoved in first position with 83

And he had 7 people behind him, and one of them was me.

Someone called him, and said “fish”, but they didn't say who it was to

Come to think about, his name was, it was you

Damn!

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