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funny posts, lifted out of context


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maybe this will catch on.Maybe it will just be my tribute to SmiddywapBut I still laugh when I think about this post.Feel free to add other posts, lifted from their threads, that make you laugh.

You know what the problem with stop signs is these days? They're too red. I remember a time when we would paint the stop signs on octagonal pieces of wood. Then they would crack and fade over the period of a couple years. They brought a real small-town charm to the driving experience. But now we've got these machine-made, uniform metal signs with some kind of long-lasting colouring, a superpaint. Just another step toward Logan's Run.What were we talking about?
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I had a fish once, he was gay. How did I know he was gay? Well, he would constantly blow bubbles in his tiny fishtank. Then one day, Gary (my fish) died of cardiac arrest. So like most normal families, we grilled him in the microwave and had a delicious, yet heartbreaking, meal. Bubbles still hangs around the house.
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These posts are classic LMAOI hope this thread catches on 8)

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It kinda saddens me that 80% of the posts will be quotes of redpill. Oh that redpill and his momma and female hating. I think if he died and was reincarnated, he would be SuperJon's gay fish.(sw, I would love to see 80% of the posts be his.)

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Example:

Hi. I'm going to mcdonald's in 1 hour and I'm getting a bacon, egg, and cheese mcgriddle, and sausage gravy and biscuit and 2 extra hash browns, and a medium coke. Can't wait.
source: the thread "I'm getting some breakfast this morning" started by theredpill.
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ou know Bono gets the rep for being a prick at the table. Stories of dealer and layer abuse are rampat.My guess is earlier in tournies he may be a grump, and when he makes it to a final table where hes going to make some $$ he perks up.Personally everytime I see him on TV he cracks me up at times.
Maybe not as funny as some of the earlier ones, but noon seemed to understand this. (im not going to try and explain it again though.)
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I once saw Harry at lepper colony. The little child leppers would run up to him, leaving little Hansel and Gretel like trais behind them, but instead of bread crumbs, one would find fingers and toes and occasionally the tiny foot of the child. Harry would look at each dreadfully ill child in turn, and then he did he most amazing thing. He unzipped his trowsers and began relieving himself directly into the faces of the little leperous children. Thos who still had eyes were initially allarmed, but then there was a great cheer from the assembled throng as new eys, fingers, toes and arms sprang forth on the childrens bodies. Yes, believe it or not, Harry Demetriu's urine cures leprocy. The man should be knighted and then made a saint immediately.He should be called 'the great' too. Also 'the compassionate'/Saint Sir Harry 'the great compassionate' Demetiru. The wise. The wise too.He's also hung like a sperm whale I hear.good luck.
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Tyler stepped forward.  Of the four men he was the quickest of mind.  "I'll play your game,” he mumbled.The hooded figure lifted it's hand and gestured toward the portal  in the center of the room.  Tyler, timidly, like a scolded dog, shuffled to the edge of this disturbing anomoly.  He moved forward, and was gone.The portal closed quickly like the lens of a camera.  The specter ignited in fire and disappeared.Carl, Toejam and Jermaine stood facing each other in utter disbelief.  None of them able to find the strength to speak, let alone act.  Each felt a cowardly guilt, but it was overshadowed by the relief of not having to risk their lives for the souls of three vagrants.-----------------------Tyler awakens face down on a cool, smooth surface.  A dim glow lights his strange surroundings.  It seems to consist of naught but a flat, black surface, much like marble, stretching as far as the eye can see.The soft illumination is everywhere, but has no apparent source.Suddenly a tuft of smoke appears.  In it's heart stands the hooded wraith.The gruesome creature reveals it's disgusting face...It is your mother, that dumb bitch..                   The End               .
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"Elliot's Mother."My friend Elliot had a hot mom.  I used to posit frequently that she gave beej's all over town.  It made him angry.He won a 300 dollar pot of me 3 years ago when he put a third raise in from the BB with 72, and cracked my poorly played TT.I then mentioned, "That you played Elliot's mother well.  Then again, everyone does.""Huh?  My mom?  What do you mean?""Yeah.  72.  Your mom.  You know, always seems to fuck me.  Otherwise, sucks dick."He punched me in the face and knocked 2 teeth out, but it was okay.Wang
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i woke up in this mornign in montana omg wtfthis is so dumb i thought iw as done with this stuff listen seriously i play poker alot and im not the brightest guy in the world i do drugs so that discualifies me but im certinaly no idiothow do i stop going on these binges and messing up my bankrolls someone help me seriosly DN I hope you stake me and get me staight
if there was ever a more appropriate screen name...
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I had a fish once, he was gay. How did I know he was gay? Well, he would constantly blow bubbles in his tiny fishtank. Then one day, Gary (my fish) died of cardiac arrest. So like most normal families, we grilled him in the microwave and had a delicious, yet heartbreaking, meal. Bubbles still hangs around the house.
this one makes me giggle wholeheartedly.. simply stunning
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no more links :-)

o daniel opens a new site and smash is back all of a sudden. Take your ego somewhere else.You know I wouldn't have much of an ego if people didn't randomly reply to me personally with completely off topic posts.Think about it, buffalo.Think about how you're responsible for me being who I am.Then cry, strap up yor helmet and drool cup, and head off to your job bagging groceries at the Piggly Wiggly.hahaha.Man, I'm the greatest.good luck.
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smasharoo wrote

"I realize that you're not bright enough to grasp the subtle interplay of hidden meanings that goes on between the more enlightened and inteligent posters here, but to think that you've somehow gained all there is from the study of my stunningly brilliant and modest posts is ludicrous. I immagine an illitrate man might think"
koot04 wroteWell, at least you used you've correctly. I guess you are "inteligent", while I am, indeed, "illitrate". Well done.
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