The Hottest Of Takes

[GOCUBSGO 77]

Post Malone makes shitty music

[Dubey 1,035]

Not really a hot take, but nonetheless, I disagree. Post Malone makes catchy pop music that I enjoy listening to.

[GOCUBSGO 77]

It's hard to have a truly hot take when it comes to music because its all subjective, but I think calling someone who recently broke the record for simultaneous top 20 hits and shattered streaming records a shitty musician qualifies well enough.

 

At least you understand that it is pop music though. The guy can't rap or sing, but people find the melody catchy.

 

[GOCUBSGO 77]

And let's be honest, this thread's title should be changed to lukewarm takes.

[Essay21 2,385]

Both of you are going to feel the warmth of my wrath if you keep it up.

 

Most music sucks. Take Prince for example. Guy had one good song in 25 years and is a joke compared to a real artist like Phil Collins, but he was gender confused before it was mainstream so people pretended to like him. Guy sucked and I hate his music.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Now that's how a hot music take is done, boys. I

[Essay21 2,385]

And while I have your attention, High Noon, the new show for Bomani and Pablo to bloviate about all things uninteresting, sucks about as hard as a tv show can. They both suck at tv and don’t belong anywhere near non print media. ESPN is a flaming dumpster fire of bad programming decisions.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Like you're home at noon watching tv. I'm calling the Kentucky fraud chickens on you having watched high noon

[Essay21 2,385]

They replay it later, much to the discomfort of everyone.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

knowing how much you hate both of them already, I doubt you've watched this, ESPN's Finest Non-Lebatard show, at all. But since I can't prove it, I'll keep it moving, you slimey barrister

[Essay21 2,385]

I’ll say it like this: I could pass a polygraph if asked had I watched it. Phrased just like that.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Luka Doncic is going to be the best Euro player in NBA history and league MVP someday

[Essay21 2,385]

Luka will be out of the league in under four years.

 

Mo Bamba will be better than Anthony Davis.

[Essay21 2,385]

If you have taken a public bathroom mirror selfie you should be sterilized. We cannot continue to allow people like that to have children.

[Dubey 1,035]

You can take the "public bathroom" out of that sentence and I still agree.

[YonYonson 156]

I’ll judge you and I’ll never associate with you if you take mirror selfies at home, but it does not rise to the level of forced sterilization. Doing it in a public restroom is irrefutable proof you are unfit to live, but because I am benevolent I will only have your sex organs removed.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

Speaking of Prince and Bomani, one of my favorite Bomani quotes was something along the lines of, "where I come from, we have a word for people who like Michael Jackson better than Prince: 'virgin.'" He goes on to note he's from Earth.

 

Prince is such a safe bet at a party too. All girls love Prince, but you're not going to embarrass yourself by putting it on like it's Drake or something.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

Also, let's talk about the biggest fraud in the realm of sandwiches: The philly cheese steak. Everyone loves a good cheese steak, right? It's impossible to screw one up, right? You can buy them in most restaurants in every city, and as long as they use reasonable-quality ingredients, it's going to be delicious.

 

The problem comes when you mention that you had a philly cheese steak to the wrong person, and you're corrected that if you didn't get it from philly, it's not a philly cheese steak. It's a level of snobbery that I'll accept from some NYC ******* telling me how terrible pizza is everywhere else, but like with Philly's entire identity, they've ripped off all of their idol's terrible flaws, without having the goods to back it up.

 

"Philly" cheese steaks are disgusting. Like the steamed cheeseburger, its signature -- a foul-tasting artificial cheese sauce -- was born of an entire culture's inability to melt cheese in real time. I know some people will cape for local places with real cheese, and admit that Pat's and Geno's are tourist trash, but if that's the case, these locals need to get that message out there stronger, because their reputation has already been destroyed by this.

 

If people from Buffalo corrected you that you didn't have real Buffalo wings, they'd just get laughed at. But they don't do that, because they understand that their identity is a sham and that black people in ATL cucked them out of their only claim to fame. Philly needs to shut up, learn how to melt cheese, and get back to me when they figure out how to cook even a single thing better than I can make it in my yard.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

i don't care what james gunn tweeted, he exists only to a make guardians of the galaxy movies i can enjoy for the rest of my life and disney is fvcking that up.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

also, a chicken philly is far superior to a standard beef philly. love me a chicken philly.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

also, a chicken philly is far superior to a standard beef philly. love me a chicken philly.

 

I'm attaching my name to this take specifically because I'm pretty sure just the phrase "chicken philly" tilts the hell out of every single person who defends that retched sauce.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

but you're not going to embarrass yourself by putting it on like it's Drake or something.

 

You're never going to embarrass yourself putting on music girls like. What the **** do I care if blackpackers judge me on it, pump that Drake.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

R Kelly's I admit is the most audacious artistic statement of the 21st century.

[David_Sklansky 1,903]

Philly cheese steak update:

 

I saw this earlier, and I really hope there is a new trend of everyone piling on Philly, which is basically an inland Jersey Shore that makes a really embarrassing effort:

 

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Mission Impossible 2 is the best MI movie