Thriceknurd 0 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 My top 5 favorite Mitch Hedberg jokes.5) I bought a parrot once. It liked to talk, but it did not say "I'm hungry", so it died.4) I had a Velcro wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the f.uckin' sound of my addiction.3) Mr. Pibb is a replica of Dr Pepper, but it's a bullshit replica, 'cuz dude didn't even get his degree. Why did you have to drop out of school and start making pop so soon? 2) I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 AM and there was a sign that said, "Sorry, we're closed." You don't have to be sorry. It's 3 AM and you're a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, "Hey, I was here at 3 AM and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology. This shirt would be half done!" 1) As a comedian you have to start a show strong and end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes, all exciting at first but at the end you're f.ucking sick of them. Link to post Share on other sites
fryer98 30 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 My top 5 people:1) Me2) Me3) Renae4) Me5) Me Link to post Share on other sites
RodReynolds 87 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Top 5 anti-inflammatory medications1. Naproxen2. Ibuprofen3. Hydrocortisone4. Meloxicam5. Triamcinolone Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Fingers Thumb Middle Index Ring Pinky Link to post Share on other sites
fryer98 30 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 FingersThumb Middle Index Ring Pinky Are those in any particular order? Link to post Share on other sites
76clubs 0 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 My top 5 numbers lower than 5:5. 44. 33. 22. 11. 1/2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Star Wars Movies:5) Ep #24) Ep #33) Ep #42) Ep #51) Ep #6I don't know why I did this, I'm not really a fan anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Are those in any particular order?Put the bottle down man...they are the top 5 fingers. Link to post Share on other sites
LongLiveYorke 38 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Top 5 Radiohead Albums:OK ComputerKid AHail to the ThiefAmnesiacThe BendsNote: this changes every day. Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 as requested, i will list my top 5 anything.5-baseball4-poker3-kelly clarkson2-beer1-drinking beer with kelly clarkson while playing poker and watching baseball Link to post Share on other sites
76clubs 0 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Star Wars Movies:5) Ep #24) Ep #33) Ep #42) Ep #51) Ep #6I don't know why I did this, I'm not really a fan anyway.episode 3 PWNS episdode 6 Link to post Share on other sites
fryer98 30 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Put the bottle down man...they are the top 5 fingers.Yea, but....but.....oh..... Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 as requested, i will list my top 5 anything.5-baseball4-poker3-kelly clarkson2-beer1-drinking beer with kelly clarkson while playing poker and watching baseballI don't think it's wise to mix those things. Link to post Share on other sites
Thriceknurd 0 Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 as requested, i will list my top 5 anything.5-baseball4-poker3-kelly clarkson2-beer1-drinking beer and knocking out kelly clarkson with a baseball bat while you poker in the @ss. FYP Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 episode 3 PWNS episdode 6I'm not getting into this now. Link to post Share on other sites
CardWarfare 4 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I don't think it's wise to mix those things.your right.. probably wouldnt play too well with kelly next to me, drunk, and watching the game.other than that, its fucking paradise Link to post Share on other sites
digitalmonkey 929 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 episode 3 PWNS episdode 6Dutch likes Lando Calrissian. Link to post Share on other sites
76clubs 0 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I'm not getting into this now. Mine goes:5. Ep #54. Ep #23. Ep #62. Ep #41. Ep #3Episode one was terrible4 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)4 Members: Clay Aiken, 76clubs, tyfgine, wsox8Good Lord, I'm scared for this thread's well-being. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 4 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)4 Members: Clay Aiken, 76clubs, tyfgine, wsox8Good Lord, I'm scared for this thread's well-being.Hold me. Link to post Share on other sites
76clubs 0 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Hold me.:huddled together face: Link to post Share on other sites
Suited_Up 2 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Top 5 Boob Sizes.5. A4. B3. C2. D1. DD Link to post Share on other sites
76clubs 0 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Top 5 Boob Sizes.5. A4. B3. C2. D1. DD Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Aiken 6 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Top 5 Things That Make Me Cry5: Losing to Ruben (It's my #1 happiest moment though, if you can believe it!!) 4: Challenger Explosion (wow... the astronauts on board that mighty ship deserved better! They are true American Idols!!) 3: Columbine massacre 2: Slavery 1: A Puppies Teardrop. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Top 5 Boob Sizes.5. A4. B3. C2. D1. DDWell played, but I'm not into the huge tit scene. B is good for me. Link to post Share on other sites
76clubs 0 Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Top 5 Men I would like to bang:5: Simon4: Ruben Studdard3: Ryan seacrest 2: Tom Cruise1: David HasselhoffFYP Link to post Share on other sites
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