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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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i mean i could write out a long, detailed report of what made me feel like it wasn't a good time and i shouldn't try. but i would have to exaggerate for effect (affect?), because otherwise it won't come off correct. all that needs to be said is i suck at life, but I'm fairly certain she wants to see me again. i like her, so i will. i need to step it up and i'm confident that someday i will. how that will be received is anyone's guess. but lets just hope it goes well.

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My friend just convinced me to to put in for a financial analyst training program at Wells Fargo. It's like 3.5 months of straight training in San Francisco and then they place you somewhere and pay is in the $60's. It's a very long shot, but her dad is kindofa higher up at Wells and is gonna do as much as he can for me.

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Tough break getting that hotel room without a working shower.
Heh, exactly what I was thinking.Yeah well, maybe she's one of those girls that will really appreciate your being a "gentleman" and not trying to take advantage of her when you clearly had the opportunity to do so. (speaking of which, what was her sleeping attire?) Anyway, and she'll fall so deeply in love with you for not "being like all the other guys" that at some point she'll throw you to the ground and do you like a porn star.Or you'll continue to be strung along in a long, sexless relationship with the hope of someday seeing a boob or something.One or the other.
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Don't worry, Shake. I won't even get a phone interview. Promise.And I will make no apologies for my networking.
it would be pretty boss hog to get at that. do work son.i see i quoted the wrong post. goddamn new ip board.tilt you suck.
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Some dude has been running wires in the ceiling and his ladder has been blocking my cube row which is also the closest route to the bathroom and I might pee my pants. I could just go the other way out the aisle and then double back through someone else's row, but then theyd see me and I can't have that. Peeing my pants is preferable to that.

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tilt you suck.
Yeah well, at least I get laid regularly.
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My friend just convinced me to to put in for a financial analyst training program at Wells Fargo. It's like 3.5 months of straight training in San Francisco and then they place you somewhere and pay is in the $60's. It's a very long shot, but her dad is kindofa higher up at Wells and is gonna do as much as he can for me.
Hey guys, see what happens when I review your resume.
"hey that's all right, I like it when you get hot and sweaty..." as you grab her and start doing stuff.now go get a time machine and do that.
Alternatively: "your mouth isn't sweaty."
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oh and suited if it makes you feel any better I'm still in love with that girl from work and she still hates me and I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend now, so you know, I'm still a very unhappy person. if it makes you feel any better.

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oh and suited if it makes you feel any better I'm still in love with that girl from work and she still hates me and I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend now, so you know, I'm still a very unhappy person. if it makes you feel any better.
it does make me feel better, thanks. mainly because i can foresee a day, a few years from now, when this place is down to just you and me. you and me and our misery. i just don't wanna be the last one left.
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HOLY SHIT THEY'RE RUNNING WIRES BECAUSE GD MICE WERE EATING THROUGH THEM AND THE MUTHER F'N MICE ATTRACTED SNAKES AND SO THERE'S BEEN MUTHER F'N SNAKES IN OUR CEILING LIKE A GD SAMUEL L JACKSON SEQUEL JESUS CHRIST IM WORKING IN SHAKES HOUSE

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