coesillian 0 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 ya i don't get handjobs either. I guess she would really have to be good because I've been practicing for a long time and I doubt if she's able to out wank me.funny story Link to post Share on other sites
Shimmering Wang 1 Posted February 16, 2007 Author Share Posted February 16, 2007 I found this to be the funniest line. If you really did define the word you just used after saying it, I think this tells us a lot about this girl.We had THIS conversation about a week before Valentine's Day, proving that you know of which you speak.Recent conversation, illustrating in many ways that I am a loser:(Wang opens doors to tanning salon. Bells ding announcing his arrival.)Wang: "Oh, I didn't know you were working today Jess..."Jess: "Yup. Here I am. You gonna tan?"Wang: (internal monologue) "Nope. I meant to go to Pet Supplies Plus but walked in the wrong door."Wang: (out loud) "I figured I'd try to drive the winter from my poor, translucent skin."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, yeah. Yes. Tan it up."Jess: "Okay. How long?"Wang: "As long as it takes."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, how long did I go for last time?"Jess: "Seven minutes."Wang: "Alright, then. Let's run it back."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, seven minutes. Seven's fine. The same."Jess: "Okay. So, what're you up to tonight?"Wang: "I gotta work."Jess: "Huh. You've been working a lot lately."Wang: "Don't worry. I've convinced my coworkers to join the revolution and take back the means of production. Aaaaany time now."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Yeah, I've been working a lot."Jess: "So you wanna hang out after?"Wang: "Yeah, want me to 'blow you up' after I get off?"Jess: "What?"Wang: "Wang me to call you when I get off?"Jess: "Yeah, sure."Wang: "Alrighty, then. Pigment acquisition time. Wish me luck."Jess: "What?"Wang: "I'm going to walk into the back to tan now. Goodbye."Wang Link to post Share on other sites
LongLiveYorke 38 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 That was the best story ever. That kind of stuff happens to me so often. Why am I the only one who gets my jokes? Either I'm waaay to smart for everyone else, or I'm waaaaay too much of a loser for everybody else.Also, it's for sure the latter. Link to post Share on other sites
tobytobey 0 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 We had THIS conversation about a week before Valentine's Day, proving that you know of which you speak.Recent conversation, illustrating in many ways that I am a loser:(Wang opens doors to tanning salon. Bells ding announcing his arrival.)Wang: "Oh, I didn't know you were working today Jess..."Jess: "Yup. Here I am. You gonna tan?"Wang: (internal monologue) "Nope. I meant to go to Pet Supplies Plus but walked in the wrong door."Wang: (out loud) "I figured I'd try to drive the winter from my poor, translucent skin."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, yeah. Yes. Tan it up."Jess: "Okay. How long?"Wang: "As long as it takes."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, how long did I go for last time?"Jess: "Seven minutes."Wang: "Alright, then. Let's run it back."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, seven minutes. Seven's fine. The same."Jess: "Okay. So, what're you up to tonight?"Wang: "I gotta work."Jess: "Huh. You've been working a lot lately."Wang: "Don't worry. I've convinced my coworkers to join the revolution and take back the means of production. Aaaaany time now."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Yeah, I've been working a lot."Jess: "So you wanna hang out after?"Wang: "Yeah, want me to 'blow you up' after I get off?"Jess: "What?"Wang: "Wang me to call you when I get off?"Jess: "Yeah, sure."Wang: "Alrighty, then. Pigment acquisition time. Wish me luck."Jess: "What?"Wang: "I'm going to walk into the back to tan now. Goodbye."WangShe must be awesome in bed. No other explanation really. Link to post Share on other sites
SBriand 4 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 We had THIS conversation about a week before Valentine's Day, proving that you know of which you speak.Recent conversation, illustrating in many ways that I am a loser:(Wang opens doors to tanning salon. Bells ding announcing his arrival.)Wang: "Oh, I didn't know you were working today Jess..."Jess: "Yup. Here I am. You gonna tan?"Wang: (internal monologue) "Nope. I meant to go to Pet Supplies Plus but walked in the wrong door."Wang: (out loud) "I figured I'd try to drive the winter from my poor, translucent skin."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, yeah. Yes. Tan it up."Jess: "Okay. How long?"Wang: "As long as it takes."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, how long did I go for last time?"Jess: "Seven minutes."Wang: "Alright, then. Let's run it back."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, seven minutes. Seven's fine. The same."Jess: "Okay. So, what're you up to tonight?"Wang: "I gotta work."Jess: "Huh. You've been working a lot lately."Wang: "Don't worry. I've convinced my coworkers to join the revolution and take back the means of production. Aaaaany time now."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Yeah, I've been working a lot."Jess: "So you wanna hang out after?"Wang: "Yeah, want me to 'blow you up' after I get off?"Jess: "What?"Wang: "Wang me to call you when I get off?"Jess: "Yeah, sure."Wang: "Alrighty, then. Pigment acquisition time. Wish me luck."Jess: "What?"Wang: "I'm going to walk into the back to tan now. Goodbye."WangWhat?yeah, I got nothing Link to post Share on other sites
Shimmering Wang 1 Posted February 16, 2007 Author Share Posted February 16, 2007 That was the best story ever. That kind of stuff happens to me so often. Why am I the only one who gets my jokes? Either I'm waaay to smart for everyone else, or I'm waaaaay too much of a loser for everybody else.Also, it's for sure the latter. Yeah, I have pretty much one friend who operates on the wavelength I do. For about 3 weeks in highschool, we just assumed it was because we were so much better than everyone else. Then we came to our senses and realized- no, no- we're just incredibly, incredibly retarded. It's okay, though. My online alter-ego has a reputation for being somewhat e-funny, so I'll take what I can get.Wang Link to post Share on other sites
beans-n-icewater 18 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 I now run all of my stories past the SickThread first, to make sure they're somewhat amusing. If I receive neutral to neutral-positive reviews from a few selected posters, I toss them up here, for the disgust of all.You're doing the same thing I have for a while.... although I've found that boring them beyond belief is alot more entertaining, so I just keep my crap in there.Yeah... I strive for the neutral responses. But somehow, the complete disgust of an audience is more entertaining for me.Good work Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyJoJo 18 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 I now run all of my stories past the SickThread first, to make sure they're somewhat amusing. If I receive neutral to neutral-positive reviews from a few selected posters, I toss them up here, for the disgust of all.[sets bait, casts out]I was going to post my Valentine's story in one of the Valentine's threads, but nobody commented on it, so it will just stay there and die.[grabs book and beer and waits][waits][tests line][reels in and checks bait which is still there][casts out again]I said, doesn't anybody want to hear my story?[taps foot impatiently][throws beer down and storms out]I hate you![runs back and saves what is left of the beer]Drink! Link to post Share on other sites
Canuckickstan 2 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 [sets bait, casts out]I said, doesn't anybody want to hear my story?Drink! Yes. Please add some gratuitous nudity and the odd boob grab !! Link to post Share on other sites
CrackofmyACE 1 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 I once got a happy ending handjob from an Asian masseuse in a back road, dangerous section of Las Vegas, and needless to say she drove it better than the owner.That is all. Link to post Share on other sites
Actuary 3 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Wang: "Yeah, want me to 'blow you up' after I get off?"I got that from context only.but isn't that how all of us learn slang.How out of th loop am I, to not have known this slang? Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 MisterYup...it's still funny. Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 LMAO....i rememebr this threadvn Link to post Share on other sites
kers2 0 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Awesome bump Link to post Share on other sites
CobaltBlue 662 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 One of my all-time favorite OT stories.Wang, do you like Salinger? Link to post Share on other sites
BigRox 0 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Just came across for the first time. Missed it originally. Very, very funny read. I would love to hear what the Wang is up to for this valentine's day. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now