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Shimmering Wang And Valentine's Day


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ya i don't get handjobs either. I guess she would really have to be good because I've been practicing for a long time and I doubt if she's able to out wank me.funny story :club:

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I found this to be the funniest line. If you really did define the word you just used after saying it, I think this tells us a lot about this girl.
We had THIS conversation about a week before Valentine's Day, proving that you know of which you speak.Recent conversation, illustrating in many ways that I am a loser:(Wang opens doors to tanning salon. Bells ding announcing his arrival.)Wang: "Oh, I didn't know you were working today Jess..."Jess: "Yup. Here I am. You gonna tan?"Wang: (internal monologue) "Nope. I meant to go to Pet Supplies Plus but walked in the wrong door."Wang: (out loud) "I figured I'd try to drive the winter from my poor, translucent skin."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, yeah. Yes. Tan it up."Jess: "Okay. How long?"Wang: "As long as it takes."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, how long did I go for last time?"Jess: "Seven minutes."Wang: "Alright, then. Let's run it back."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, seven minutes. Seven's fine. The same."Jess: "Okay. So, what're you up to tonight?"Wang: "I gotta work."Jess: "Huh. You've been working a lot lately."Wang: "Don't worry. I've convinced my coworkers to join the revolution and take back the means of production. Aaaaany time now."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Yeah, I've been working a lot."Jess: "So you wanna hang out after?"Wang: "Yeah, want me to 'blow you up' after I get off?"Jess: "What?"Wang: "Wang me to call you when I get off?"Jess: "Yeah, sure."Wang: "Alrighty, then. Pigment acquisition time. Wish me luck."Jess: "What?"Wang: "I'm going to walk into the back to tan now. Goodbye."Wang
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That was the best story ever. That kind of stuff happens to me so often. Why am I the only one who gets my jokes? Either I'm waaay to smart for everyone else, or I'm waaaaay too much of a loser for everybody else.Also, it's for sure the latter.

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We had THIS conversation about a week before Valentine's Day, proving that you know of which you speak.Recent conversation, illustrating in many ways that I am a loser:(Wang opens doors to tanning salon. Bells ding announcing his arrival.)Wang: "Oh, I didn't know you were working today Jess..."Jess: "Yup. Here I am. You gonna tan?"Wang: (internal monologue) "Nope. I meant to go to Pet Supplies Plus but walked in the wrong door."Wang: (out loud) "I figured I'd try to drive the winter from my poor, translucent skin."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, yeah. Yes. Tan it up."Jess: "Okay. How long?"Wang: "As long as it takes."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, how long did I go for last time?"Jess: "Seven minutes."Wang: "Alright, then. Let's run it back."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, seven minutes. Seven's fine. The same."Jess: "Okay. So, what're you up to tonight?"Wang: "I gotta work."Jess: "Huh. You've been working a lot lately."Wang: "Don't worry. I've convinced my coworkers to join the revolution and take back the means of production. Aaaaany time now."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Yeah, I've been working a lot."Jess: "So you wanna hang out after?"Wang: "Yeah, want me to 'blow you up' after I get off?"Jess: "What?"Wang: "Wang me to call you when I get off?"Jess: "Yeah, sure."Wang: "Alrighty, then. Pigment acquisition time. Wish me luck."Jess: "What?"Wang: "I'm going to walk into the back to tan now. Goodbye."Wang
She must be awesome in bed. No other explanation really.
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We had THIS conversation about a week before Valentine's Day, proving that you know of which you speak.Recent conversation, illustrating in many ways that I am a loser:(Wang opens doors to tanning salon. Bells ding announcing his arrival.)Wang: "Oh, I didn't know you were working today Jess..."Jess: "Yup. Here I am. You gonna tan?"Wang: (internal monologue) "Nope. I meant to go to Pet Supplies Plus but walked in the wrong door."Wang: (out loud) "I figured I'd try to drive the winter from my poor, translucent skin."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, yeah. Yes. Tan it up."Jess: "Okay. How long?"Wang: "As long as it takes."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, how long did I go for last time?"Jess: "Seven minutes."Wang: "Alright, then. Let's run it back."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Uh, seven minutes. Seven's fine. The same."Jess: "Okay. So, what're you up to tonight?"Wang: "I gotta work."Jess: "Huh. You've been working a lot lately."Wang: "Don't worry. I've convinced my coworkers to join the revolution and take back the means of production. Aaaaany time now."Jess: "What?"Wang: "Yeah, I've been working a lot."Jess: "So you wanna hang out after?"Wang: "Yeah, want me to 'blow you up' after I get off?"Jess: "What?"Wang: "Wang me to call you when I get off?"Jess: "Yeah, sure."Wang: "Alrighty, then. Pigment acquisition time. Wish me luck."Jess: "What?"Wang: "I'm going to walk into the back to tan now. Goodbye."Wang
What?yeah, I got nothing
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That was the best story ever. That kind of stuff happens to me so often. Why am I the only one who gets my jokes? Either I'm waaay to smart for everyone else, or I'm waaaaay too much of a loser for everybody else.Also, it's for sure the latter.
Yeah, I have pretty much one friend who operates on the wavelength I do. For about 3 weeks in highschool, we just assumed it was because we were so much better than everyone else. Then we came to our senses and realized- no, no- we're just incredibly, incredibly retarded. It's okay, though. My online alter-ego has a reputation for being somewhat e-funny, so I'll take what I can get.Wang
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I now run all of my stories past the SickThread first, to make sure they're somewhat amusing. If I receive neutral to neutral-positive reviews from a few selected posters, I toss them up here, for the disgust of all.
You're doing the same thing I have for a while.... although I've found that boring them beyond belief is alot more entertaining, so I just keep my crap in there.Yeah... I strive for the neutral responses. But somehow, the complete disgust of an audience is more entertaining for me.Good work
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I now run all of my stories past the SickThread first, to make sure they're somewhat amusing. If I receive neutral to neutral-positive reviews from a few selected posters, I toss them up here, for the disgust of all.
[sets bait, casts out]I was going to post my Valentine's story in one of the Valentine's threads, but nobody commented on it, so it will just stay there and die.[grabs book and beer and waits][waits][tests line][reels in and checks bait which is still there][casts out again]I said, doesn't anybody want to hear my story?[taps foot impatiently][throws beer down and storms out]I hate you![runs back and saves what is left of the beer]Drink!
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  • 11 months later...

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