Need Help With An Essay

[gkunit20 1]

For School, I need to write an essay about temptation. It does not have to be a traditional essay, but it has to be about temptation and how it affects every day life. Here's what i have so far:The strength of a person is measured in how easily they can be swayed. Those who fold to the lowest amount of temptation are weak. Those who can resist higher amounts are strong. But those who can resist the highest amounts on a daily basis are the saints. But everyone is different. Something that may be easy to resist for me may be impossible to resist for someone else. Who’s the saint? Me because I resisted? Maybe I fold to something that he easily resists. Then who’s the saint?Got any ideas on how to continue?

[digitalmonkey 929]

I think you should approach it from a poker perspective. As in, some temptations should be avoided while others are acceptable as long as they are +ev.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

For School, I need to write an essay about temptation. It does not have to be a traditional essay, but it has to be about temptation and how it affects every day life. Here's what i have so far:The strength of a person is measured in how easily they can be swayed. Those who fold to the lowest amount of temptation are weak. Those who can resist higher amounts are strong. But those who can resist the highest amounts on a daily basis are the saints. But everyone is different. Something that may be easy to resist for me may be impossible to resist for someone else. Who’s the saint? Me because I resisted? Maybe I fold to something that he easily resists. Then who’s the saint?Got any ideas on how to continue?

you could go around in circles talking about how one persons temptations are easily ignored by another person. I'd write about personal temptations, and how i deal with them.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

For School, I need to write an essay about temptation. It does not have to be a traditional essay, but it has to be about temptation and how it affects every day life. Here's what i have so far:The strength of a person is measured in how easily they can be swayed. Those who fold to the lowest amount of temptation are weak. Those who can resist higher amounts are strong. But those who can resist the highest amounts on a daily basis are the saints. But everyone is different. Something that may be easy to resist for me may be impossible to resist for someone else. Who’s the saint? Me because I resisted? Maybe I fold to something that he easily resists. Then who’s the saint?Got any ideas on how to continue?

The first thing you have to do is learn a little something about pronoun/antecedent agreement. If the initial noun (in this case, person) is singular, then the pronoun that refers to it (in this case, incorrectly, they) must also be singular. The first sentence should read: "The strength of a person is measured in how easily he can be swayed."The second thing you need to do is clean up the wording. Instead of "can be" just use "is." It's more direct, less vague, and shorter. You also use the word "saint" like 30 times. Perhaps replace "saint" with "strong one" in the "Who's the saint?" sentence. Or something like that, because I think you already used the word "strong." And I would argue "saint" is not the perfect word here (though I don't hate it). After the phrase "amounts are strong..." change the period to a comma. Starting a sentence with "but" is okay, but you do it two sentences in a row, for no reason. Perhaps consider "however."You're also overusing the word "resist." I'd suggest changing the word "resisted" in the "Me because I resisted?" to "endured." In fact, you'd be better servied changing "Who’s the saint? Me because I resisted?" into something like, "Am I the saint because I endured?" That way it's a proper sentence, and avoids the hackneyed "question, question" literary device.I don't know what your thesis is, but I find big holes in your argument already. Why does resisting temptatio make you better or STRONGER than somebody who lives to indulge every whim? Giving into temptation is not a prima facie indication of weakness in all cases. What if a man indulges himself when there are no unforseeable negative consequences? The FIRST thing you need to do is shore up the point you're trying to make, or at least advance some support (no matter how tenuous or nebulous) for your initial claims. Also, consider that there is a difference between being UNABLE to forego temptation, and UNWILLING to forego temptation. As for suggestions on the rest of your paper, I'd do the following:1) Define temptation. I don't even know how you're using it here. Forwarding a definition in the opening paragraph- or at least somehow indicating in what sense you'll be using the word- will help keep you and the reader on the same page. Explain why reisting temptation is laudable, and even why strength in this case is a positive.I dunno. That's just a one-bullet list. I'd consider an argument that discipline- knowing how to control oneself in the face of great pressure- leads to a happier, safer life, that it helps one put proper value on the future (of oneself and others) as compared to the immediate present.WangEDIT- one final note. I believe temptation is measured in "degrees" or "depth." "Amount of temptation..." doesn't sount right.

[Dirtydutch 8]

The first thing you have to do is learn a little something about pronoun/antecedent agreement. If the initial noun (in this case, person) is singular, then the pronoun that refers to it (in this case, incorrectly, they) must also be singular. The first sentence should read: "The strength of a person is measured in how easily he can be swayed."The second thing you need to do is clean up the wording. Instead of "can be" just use "is." It's more direct, less vague, and shorter. You also use the word "saint" like 30 times. Perhaps replace "saint" with "strong one" in the "Who's the saint?" sentence. Or something like that, because I think you already used the word "strong." And I would argue "saint" is not the perfect word here (though I don't hate it). After the phrase "amounts are strong..." change the period to a comma. Starting a sentence with "but" is okay, but you do it two sentences in a row, for no reason. Perhaps consider "however."You're also overusing the word "resist." I'd suggest changing the word "resisted" in the "Me because I resisted?" to "endured." In fact, you'd be better servied changing "Who’s the saint? Me because I resisted?" into something like, "Am I the saint because I endured?" That way it's a proper sentence, and avoids the hackneyed "question, question" literary device.I don't know what your thesis is, but I find big holes in your argument already. Why does resisting temptatio make you better or STRONGER than somebody who lives to indulge every whim? Giving into temptation is not a prima facie indication of weakness in all cases. What if a man indulges himself when there are no unforseeable negative consequences? The FIRST thing you need to do is shore up the point you're trying to make, or at least advance some support (no matter how tenuous or nebulous) for your initial claims. Also, consider that there is a difference between being UNABLE to forego temptation, and UNWILLING to forego temptation. As for suggestions on the rest of your paper, I'd do the following:1) Define temptation. I don't even know how you're using it here. Forwarding a definition in the opening paragraph- or at least somehow indicating in what sense you'll be using the word- will help keep you and the reader on the same page. Explain why reisting temptation is laudable, and even why strength in this case is a positive.I dunno. That's just a one-bullet list. I'd consider an argument that discipline- knowing how to control oneself in the face of great pressure- leads to a happier, safer life, that it helps one put proper value on the future (of oneself and others) as compared to the immediate present.WangEDIT- one final note. I believe temptation is measured in "degrees" or "depth." "Amount of temptation..." doesn't sount right.

[DoinSublime 0]

I think you should approach it from a poker perspective. As in, some temptations should be avoided while others are acceptable as long as they are +ev.

I agree, I think you could knock it out of the park by putting it into poker terms.

[SweetDaddyFreak 0]

Hows the college search going?