Shimmering Wang Hasn't Done This In A While

[Shimmering Wang 1]

I was hanging out in the sick thread the other day, and realized I spend most of my time-wasting time there nowadays. I haven't given OTGeneral anything to be disappointed about in quite a while, so when I told this story to Speedz the other evening, I thought I'd donate it here, too. Of course, I forgot until now. Anyway, this is a pretty short one, and it's kinda choppy since I hammered it out in a real hurry.My friends and I used to get hammered and go on random college roadtrips all over the area. We'd invade some nearby school (Michigan State, for example) where we knew somebody, demand they throw a party, and ruin it for everybody by blacking out at 6PM and walking around the rest of our night with our balls out. There were some great moments, but here is my personal favorite.Okay, so we're in East Lansing, about 10 of us. Everyone's drunk, but I'm EASILY the worst. When I get hammered, I usually keep up a pretty convincing facade of semi-sobriety, so people who don't know me usually have no idea if I've even been drinking. Anyway, It's about 10ish, and I've blacked out (a pretty rare occurrence for me)) just as the party begins starting. I heard this from a few people the next day.A friend of mine is throwing the party, so he invites some people he knows into the house, and I'm on the back balcony drinking a beer and being cool. Matt brings a few people out back and introduces them. Being the genial gentleman I am, I ask them what they're studying. The guy goes inside, and the two girls answer "Political Science." At the time, I knew my fair share about PoliSci, so I started a conversation and charmed them with my wit and knowledge.Apparently, at some point, one of the girls got pretty intrigued in the conversation, and started making some bold contentions that I didn't agree with (something lame about economics that was just stupid). After one three minute rant, she asked, "So? What do you think?"Supposedly, I stroked my chin as if pondering a response with my right hand while looking serious. Then, held one finger in the air as if I'd come to a conclusion or had an "aha" moment."Well, here's what I think." And then I pointed at my crotch, where my left hand had been doing some work. "That's a balllllsy position."She looked disgusted and ran away, so I ran after her into the house screaming, "POINT, COUNTERPOINT! POINT, COUNTERPOINT!" with my nuts still just hanging down.I'm pretty sure this is all exaggerated, but I can't remember so I don't really know what happened. There are at least 100 pictures from that night of me or my friends posing with people we don't know, who don't know our balls are just floppin' around, so it's entirely possible that at least part of that is true.Wang

[JSHamm 9]

I loved this story when I read it last week, too.

[Canuckickstan 2]

Balls Deep.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

Supposedly, I stroked my chin as if pondering a response with my right hand while looking serious. Then, held one finger in the air as if I'd come to a conclusion or had an "aha" moment."Well, here's what I think." And then I pointed at my crotch, where my left hand had been doing some work. "That's a balllllsy position."Wang

Nice.

[speedz99 145]

I haven't really read the Sick thread in a few days, and I'm kind of afraid to catch up. Can we just import everyone from there to here and start over?Nevermind...I guess I'll just have to suck it up. Splooge, that is.Good story. This made me laugh again:

"POINT, COUNTERPOINT! POINT, COUNTERPOINT!"

...and again as I pasted it into this post. Am I the only one?

[onlyme386 0]

wow. just wow. :D

[allinbluff35 0]

when i used to drink a lot at college, i would black out. my friends told me I would get mad at the brick walls in our basement and start yelling at them, then eventually punch them.

[uahphysics 0]

I was hanging out in the sick thread the other day, and realized I spend most of my time-wasting time there nowadays. I haven't given OTGeneral anything to be disappointed about in quite a while, so when I told this story to Speedz the other evening, I thought I'd donate it here, too. Of course, I forgot until now. Anyway, this is a pretty short one, and it's kinda choppy since I hammered it out in a real hurry.My friends and I used to get hammered and go on random college roadtrips all over the area. We'd invade some nearby school (Michigan State, for example) where we knew somebody, demand they throw a party, and ruin it for everybody by blacking out at 6PM and walking around the rest of our night with our balls out. There were some great moments, but here is my personal favorite.Okay, so we're in East Lansing, about 10 of us. Everyone's drunk, but I'm EASILY the worst. When I get hammered, I usually keep up a pretty convincing facade of semi-sobriety, so people who don't know me usually have no idea if I've even been drinking. Anyway, It's about 10ish, and I've blacked out (a pretty rare occurrence for me)) just as the party begins starting. I heard this from a few people the next day.A friend of mine is throwing the party, so he invites some people he knows into the house, and I'm on the back balcony drinking a beer and being cool. Matt brings a few people out back and introduces them. Being the genial gentleman I am, I ask them what they're studying. The guy goes inside, and the two girls answer "Political Science." At the time, I knew my fair share about PoliSci, so I started a conversation and charmed them with my wit and knowledge.Apparently, at some point, one of the girls got pretty intrigued in the conversation, and started making some bold contentions that I didn't agree with (something lame about economics that was just stupid). After one three minute rant, she asked, "So? What do you think?"Supposedly, I stroked my chin as if pondering a response with my right hand while looking serious. Then, held one finger in the air as if I'd come to a conclusion or had an "aha" moment."Well, here's what I think." And then I pointed at my crotch, where my left hand had been doing some work. "That's a balllllsy position."She looked disgusted and ran away, so I ran after her into the house screaming, "POINT, COUNTERPOINT! POINT, COUNTERPOINT!" with my nuts still just hanging down.I'm pretty sure this is all exaggerated, but I can't remember so I don't really know what happened. There are at least 100 pictures from that night of me or my friends posing with people we don't know, who don't know our balls are just floppin' around, so it's entirely possible that at least part of that is true.Wang

This coming from the same guy who told me "Fabulous Muscles" by Xiu Xiu was too much to handle. lol.

[Dirtydutch 8]

I approve of this story.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

This coming from the same guy who told me "Fabulous Muscles" by Xiu Xiu was too much to handle. lol.

Wow. Someone went waaay back. I remember thinking the first time I heard Fabulous Muscles: "Huh. Now that's just too much."

[BeaverStyle 1]

this is the greatest story i've heard all day.

[X's 0]

Here's something else Shimmering Wang hasn't done in a while -- update his blog. That s h i t is gold.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Here's something else Shimmering Wang hasn't done in a while -- update his blog. That s h i t is gold.

Man, my blog would just be pointless. I fucking work now, and I don't drink. Here's what my blog would look like:"So, today I went to the tanning salon. I'm kinda dating a girl who works behind the counter. She's not very intelligent, and most of the things I say are met with an uncommonly vacuous stare, which leads to some sort of more easily understood, less interesting rephrase. My nickname for her- since I have a weird thing where I have to give everyone a nickname- is DumbBunny. She thinks it's cute. She gives good blowjobs, and I don't like being alone.Work sure was fun today. At one point, Javon and John were swapping stories about what it was like inside. I entered the room in the middle of the conversation, and- since I have a weird thing where I have to always know what everyone is talking about- asked, "Inside where?" Javon responded, 'Fucking prison, man. What'choo think we're talkin' about? The bathroom?' I didn't understand the bathroom comment, but let me repeat: I walked in in the middle of the conversation. John does a lot of tattooing. He's been 'inking' people for 5 years. He's excited, because he ordered his first real tattoo kit. I don't understand how that works, but let me repeat: I walked in in the middle of the conversation.I'm not retarded, so they always make me deal Omaha. At first I thought, as the new guy, I was being taken advantage of. Then I realized that, sure enough, everyone else is either completely incapable of dealing, handreading, and potplitting, or so dedicated to his feigned igorance that he's more than willing to screw up at least 3 times/20 minute orbit. One kid's nickname was 'Ultra Tight,' which was shortened to UT. I called him RockyTop all night, and nobody got it.Everyone thinks I'm weird."Wang