Dear Nikki

[El Guapo 8]

What the funk did I start in here?And Josh why the hell am I not invited, I'll bring the hip hop and Hennessey!

[Jadaki 0]

What the funk did I start in here?And Josh why the hell am I not invited, I'll bring the hip hop and Hennessey!

1. I don't know.B. Dates aren't official yet... III. I have plenty of hip-hop, but I usually just stock various types of vodka at the crib.

[El Guapo 8]

1. I don't know.B. Dates aren't official yet... III. I have plenty of hip-hop, but I usually just stock various types of vodka at the crib.

Actually I don't even like Hennessey, I have had a bottle in my bar for 5 years, that has 2 drinks poured out of it, if I drink it is usually cap n coke.

[myenemy 0]

My girlfriend is starting to get bitchy all the time, when it was just occassional, I didnt mind. I do a lot of nice things for her, I genuinely like to make her happy and enjoy spending time with her. Lately though, it seems she is less appreciative (I know thats the wrong sentiment), and I find myself thinking that I am putting too much into the relationship and not getting enough out. Should I break up with her or try to work it out? And if the latter, how?(Is it sad that this is where I come for real advice? I love the anonymity.)

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

first, analyze if you are doing anything incredibly different than you used to.Second, figure out if what you are doing/used to do was in the realm of being a decent boyfriendThird, if it is, realize that she is a typical woman that expects anything and everything to always be about her and her needs and either tell her to shut up and deal or leave, or, you can grin and bear it and realize that this will be the rest of your life, if you decide to stay straight.Another option, maybe she's picking fights, getting needy because she either is starved for attention or is looking for a way out.This is just general relationship advice, so good luck. Some guys think they are good boyfriends, but aren't. If you act like you care, you're doing a good job. If you make it clear that you don't care about her stupid job, friends, whatever, then she needs something. Like I said, it's my opinion that most women just want the undivided attention of their guy. Sure, flowers, roses, an occasional card is ok, but if they expect that all the time, I tell them to get in the real world. Disclaimer: I hate 95% of all women.

[Jadaki 0]

It won't change, kick her to the curb.

[myenemy 0]

first, analyze if you are doing anything incredibly different than you used to. I dont think so.Second, figure out if what you are doing/used to do was in the realm of being a decent boyfriend. Definitely a good boyfriend. We do tons of stuff together, go on vacations, hang with her friends mostly (I dont mind at all), I take care of her dog.Third, if it is, realize that she is a typical woman that expects anything and everything to always be about her and her needs and either tell her to shut up and deal or leave, or, you can grin and bear it and realize that this will be the rest of your life, if you decide to stay straight. Do you mean all women are basically like this and I should just accept it and decide whether I feel like settling with this particular one?Another option, maybe she's picking fights, getting needy because she either is starved for attention or is looking for a way out. 100% not starved for attention.This is just general relationship advice, so good luck. Some guys think they are good boyfriends, but aren't. If you act like you care, you're doing a good job. If you make it clear that you don't care about her stupid job, friends, whatever, then she needs something. Like I said, it's my opinion that most women just want the undivided attention of their guy. Sure, flowers, roses, an occasional card is ok, but if they expect that all the time, I tell them to get in the real world. Disclaimer: I hate 95% of all women.

[Smacciemac 3]

My girlfriend is starting to get bitchy all the time, when it was just occassional, I didnt mind. I do a lot of nice things for her, I genuinely like to make her happy and enjoy spending time with her. Lately though, it seems she is less appreciative (I know thats the wrong sentiment), and I find myself thinking that I am putting too much into the relationship and not getting enough out. Should I break up with her or try to work it out? And if the latter, how?(Is it sad that this is where I come for real advice? I love the anonymity.)

How long are you with her? It seems that he honeymoon period is over and now she is showing her true colors.. Move on

[hblask 1]

Do you mean all women are basically like this and I should just accept it and decide whether I feel like settling with this particular one?

Yes.Women expect you to escalate your affection. If you show the same amount of affection as previously, they assume you hate them. It's "affection inflation" -- they expect it and live for it.There are a couple (non-exclusive) possible cures:1. Break up every couple years and find someone new, where you can set ridiculously low expectations and slowly increase them to the level what you can handle.2. Raise them as slowly as possible in the hope that you can extend the relationship for as long as you need it to last.3. When you reach you max amount, suddenly drop to a very low level, have a giant fight and reset the expectations to near zero, and start over for several more years of happiness.4. Try to find someone who doesn't do this.(Just kidding about number 4, don't waste your time).Who me? Bitter?

[Smacciemac 3]

Another option, maybe she's picking fights, getting needy because she either is starved for attention or is looking for a way out. 100% not starved for attention

When you write that NOT starved for attention thing.. Maybe you are smothering her. I get that "locked in the cage" feeling all the time.. but then again I have commitment issues.. however I still do get that feeling all the time and it drives me up a wall. Maybe back up off her for a bit.

[myenemy 0]

How long are you with her? It seems that he honeymoon period is over and now she is showing her true colors.. Move on

1. 1/2 years.

When you write that NOT starved for attention thing.. Maybe you are smothering her. I get that "locked in the cage" feeling all the time.. but then again I have commitment issues.. however I still do get that feeling all the time and it drives me up a wall. Maybe back up off her for a bit.

We see each other only on the weekends, although it is every weekend. She lives in Philly, me in NYC. I still think what you say has merit though, the cimple fact that we do see each other every weekend, that it is implied, may be smothering. Shit, I feel that way sometimes, why should I assume she doesnt. Saying that though, I do look forward to seeing her, it just may be too implied, if you take my meaning. Someone said yesterday, "Is she the one?", I said I didnt know, so according to him that means "No". I hate that line of thinking. I really am not sure. If I was sure it was no, I realize that is wrong to do to someone. There isn't one person for everyone out there. There is like 1 in 1000 for everyone out there, you just need to pick one and move on.

[Smacciemac 3]

1. 1/2 years.We see each other only on the weekends, although it is every weekend. She lives in Philly, me in NYC. I still think what you say has merit though, the cimple fact that we do see each other every weekend, that it is implied, may be smothering. Shit, I feel that way sometimes, why should I assume she doesnt. Saying that though, I do look forward to seeing her, it just may be too implied, if you take my meaning. Someone said yesterday, "Is she the one?", I said I didnt know, so according to him that means "No". I hate that line of thinking. I really am not sure. If I was sure it was no, I realize that is wrong to do to someone. There isn't one person for everyone out there. There is like 1 in 1000 for everyone out there, you just need to pick one and move on.

You don't need to know if she is the one or not. If you are happy then "the one for now" is fine, however if her bitchiness is starting to affect your happiness, you need to ask her point blank what her problem is. Have you asked her?Also try asking her during the week if she had anything else she wanted to do next weekend instead of coming here etc.. maybe it will give her some relief if she is feeling smothered.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

shaved, bushy or neatly trimmed? How old is she?thinpleasantly plumptub of gooLong hair, short hair?do you go downtown often?do you have smelly balls? I mean, do you demand head after the long drive to see her? All of these things are important. Not to your problem, just for me.How old are you kids?

[Nikki_N 17]

My girlfriend is starting to get bitchy all the time, when it was just occassional, I didnt mind. I do a lot of nice things for her, I genuinely like to make her happy and enjoy spending time with her. Lately though, it seems she is less appreciative (I know thats the wrong sentiment), and I find myself thinking that I am putting too much into the relationship and not getting enough out. Should I break up with her or try to work it out? And if the latter, how?(Is it sad that this is where I come for real advice? I love the anonymity.)

All relationships have highs and lows. In a committed relationship, there could be longer periods of discontent than you might like. If you ask her why she's bitchy, she'll probably fly off the handle, so maybe find a way to ask her if she's been feeling okay, lately, or whatever. Let her know that you've noticed she's upset and are concerned for her. Is it work, family, school??? This may open the lines of communication and reveal the truth behind her attitude. It may be she's tired of long distance and wants more (or less?) of you. She could feel smothered. She may, on the other hand, want more than just weekends but not know how to work that out. She may have legit problems in other areas of her life and because you are close to her, you are the object of her bitchiness. Unfortunately, when I'm upset or Dave is upset, it affects the other person. Consider that you may seem bitchy to her sometimes, too.What I'm saying is that you should address this in a conversation, preferably in person. If it turns out that she's just tired of being the sweet new girlfriend she was when you first fell for her, maybe you decide to bail. Maybe there's really something bothering her about her life or your relationship that can be worked out and all will be okay once that happens. My advice is to talk to her and see what happens. If you approach the subject gently and non-judgmentally and she freaks the fuck out, maybe then you dump her.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

So, I went out with a girl last night and we had a really good time. I took her to a pretty hip restaurant and what turned out to be a really fantastic wine bar, and I took her out to breakfast this morning.Aside from being a pretty obvious brag post, I actually do have a question. Usually on the first date or so I'm very happy to pay for food and drinks; I enjoy it and it's not a big deal. But usually when I do, the girl at least pretends to reach for her purse when the check comes. This girl didn't even attempt to pay her share and I wasn't really thanked at all for paying the checks. Is this a really bad sign? If we go out again, how should I not so subtly request that she at least consider throwing down some cash?

[Nikki_N 17]

So, I went out with a girl last night and we had a really good time. I took her to a pretty hip restaurant and what turned out to be a really fantastic wine bar, and I took her out to breakfast this morning.Aside from being a pretty obvious brag post, I actually do have a question. Usually on the first date or so I'm very happy to pay for food and drinks; I enjoy it and it's not a big deal. But usually when I do, the girl at least pretends to reach for her purse when the check comes. This girl didn't even attempt to pay her share and I wasn't really thanked at all for paying the checks. Is this a really bad sign? If we go out again, how should I not so subtly request that she at least consider throwing down some cash?

I'd give her another date to see how it goes. Maybe meet up for a lunch midday and keep it really informal and see if she pays or asks for separate checks or something. She may just be used to the "traditional" date where the guy pays. She may be broke. Who knows? If it really bothers you and she never says thanks or offers to help with the check, maybe you stop calling her. Now, whether or not you decide to continue dating this girl, don't complain about her lack of gratitude in front of all these sex-starved fcpers. They'll come to your house and punch you in the face.

[Drumstick88 0]

Use the test from the movie A Bronx Tale. Lock your car doors before you pick her up, then as you walk her to your car you unlock and open up the passenger door for her to get in. Then as you walk around to the driver side see if she reaches over and unlocks your door for you. If she doesnt, shes a bitch and needs to be dumped right away. Shes not gonna go out of her way to do anything for you. Of course if you have one of the cars where you open one side they all open this wont work.Since she didnt even make a move to her purse or even fake like she was going to pay, its similar to the car test, but not concrete since its practically a rule that the guy pays.

[myenemy 0]

Its nice to get a reach.

Use the test from the movie A Bronx Tale. Lock your car doors before you pick her up, then as you walk her to your car you unlock and open up the passenger door for her to get in. Then as you walk around to the driver side see if she reaches over and unlocks your door for you. If she doesnt, shes a bitch and needs to be dumped right away. Shes not gonna go out of her way to do anything for you. Of course if you have one of the cars where you open one side they all open this wont work.Since she didnt even make a move to her purse or even fake like she was going to pay, its similar to the car test, but not concrete since its practically a rule that the guy pays.

Give her "the Mario Test".

[owise1 0]

So, I went out with a girl last night and we had a really good time. I took her to a pretty hip restaurant and what turned out to be a really fantastic wine bar, and I took her out to breakfast this morning.Aside from being a pretty obvious brag post, I actually do have a question. Usually on the first date or so I'm very happy to pay for food and drinks; I enjoy it and it's not a big deal. But usually when I do, the girl at least pretends to reach for her purse when the check comes. This girl didn't even attempt to pay her share and I wasn't really thanked at all for paying the checks. Is this a really bad sign? If we go out again, how should I not so subtly request that she at least consider throwing down some cash?

First, yes this is a bad sign. Two chances to say a simple, "thank you" and she didn't. Hope this isn't the norm for her. Second, what do you think is fair? Do you think it should be 50/50 all the time? Or maybe she should pay for every third, fourth or fifth date. It also depends on both of your incomes. For example, if one person makes for example 80k/year and the other is 20k/year, then it would not be fair to go 50/50 all of the time. In this example the total is 100k and the person earning 80k should pay for 4 dates and the 5th one should be on the person who earns 20k. If I were you, I would go on a few more dates with her and see what happens. She might offer on the 3rd or 4th date. If nothing, not even a thank you or an attempt, then seriously think of dumping her or at least talk to her about it. Also, all of the dates don't have to be where you spend a lot of cash. Hope this helps and good luck. owise1

[CindyLou 11]

For example, if one person makes for example 80k/year and the other is 20k/year, then it would not be fair to go 50/50 all of the time. In this example the total is 100k and the person earning 80k should pay for 4 dates and the 5th one should be on the person who earns 20k.

Good point.Lily, you should ask to see her last three tax returns and preferably a personal financial statement so you can make sure each party is paying their fair share.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

Good point.Lily, you should ask to see her last three tax returns and preferably a personal financial statement so you can make sure each party is paying their fair share.

We both work for universities, so neither of us has any money. It's probably close to 50/50.

[CindyLou 11]

We both work for universities, so neither of us has any money. It's probably close to 50/50.

In that case, she should only have to pay for dates that don't end in sex.That's how I've always viewed it.Breakfast is an interesting case. You should argue that it's a separate date and not a continuation of the original date.But you should also at least ask to see one of her paystubs, just to be safe.

[Sal Paradise 57]

So, I went out with a girl last night and we had a really good time. I took her to a pretty hip restaurant and what turned out to be a really fantastic wine bar, and I took her out to breakfast this morning.Aside from being a pretty obvious brag post, I actually do have a question. Usually on the first date or so I'm very happy to pay for food and drinks; I enjoy it and it's not a big deal. But usually when I do, the girl at least pretends to reach for her purse when the check comes. This girl didn't even attempt to pay her share and I wasn't really thanked at all for paying the checks. Is this a really bad sign? If we go out again, how should I not so subtly request that she at least consider throwing down some cash?

you're complaining? she didn't reach for the check but she did reach for YOUR PENIS AMIRITE WHO'S WITH ME?

[fryer98 30]

Use the test from the movie A Bronx Tale. Lock your car doors before you pick her up, then as you walk her to your car you unlock and open up the passenger door for her to get in. Then as you walk around to the driver side see if she reaches over and unlocks your door for you. If she doesnt, shes a bitch and needs to be dumped right away. Shes not gonna go out of her way to do anything for you. Of course if you have one of the cars where you open one side they all open this wont work.

Or, maybe she just assumes this isn't 1985 and 99% of cars have remotes to unlock the doors?

[Fleur 0]

I use a very simple rule on dates: the person that asked the other person out, pays.If I ask the guy out, I pay the bill. And that happens, yes, I do ask guys out.