Dear Nikki

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

Dear Nikki,What is an appropriate parental response when catching your 13 year old son downloading porn on your computer ?Truthfully, I know boys will be boys, and I'm more perturbed that he used my laptop...........and that he was too stupid to destroy the evidence and delete it from my computer after he had transferred it to his PSP. His response was that it is my fault that he had to use my laptop, because his computer has a parental lock on it (DOH!)

You can put porn on PSP's? Awesome.

[mtdesmoines 3]

Dear Nikki,What is an appropriate parental response when catching your 13 year old son downloading porn on your computer ?Truthfully, I know boys will be boys, and I'm more perturbed that he used my laptop...........and that he was too stupid to destroy the evidence and delete it from my computer after he had transferred it to his PSP. His response was that it is my fault that he had to use my laptop, because his computer has a parental lock on it (DOH!)

I'd be more worried that he is arguing, blaming, and rationalizing than the fact that he HAD the porn. He should have just hung his stupid head and acted guilty.

[strategy 4]

I'd be more worried that he is arguing, blaming, and rationalizing than the fact that he HAD the porn. He should have just hung his stupid head and acted guilty.

whatkid's gotta learn sometime

[Jadaki 0]

You can put porn on PSP's? Awesome.

Yea, load it up with porn and then you can take it to work with you. Then when you get that urge sometime throughout the day you can wonder into a bathroom stall... whip out your PSP and your PP, and go to town.

[El Guapo 8]

<<<------------------ Getting PSP ASAP

You can put porn on PSP's? Awesome.

[finztotheleft 0]

I'd be more worried that he is arguing, blaming, and rationalizing than the fact that he HAD the porn. He should have just hung his stupid head and acted guilty.

Actually, the blaming me was his second approach to the issue (and kind of a joke). His first response (which he was serious about)was to blame his 11 year old brother (who had been using my computer with his friend, with my permission, earlier in the day). Because I hadn't seen him with my computer, and knew my youngest had used it, I almost believed him. I would have noticed the new icons on my desktop if it had been done earlier. I also thought that Joey (the 13 yo) would have known to delete the items, where his brother is not very computer savvy yet . Luckily, I thought to check his PSP download manager and saw the files that matched the names of the new desktop items.I'm not really mad about the porn.....it's more that I'm questioning should I punish him for that as well as the lying and downloading ? In the grand scheme of things, I figure this is a guy right of passage type thing. Like, I'd love both of them to not drink until they are 21. I don't think that's realistic . I'd settle for 17ish and never drinking/driving. Drinking at 14 and I'll kill him. So, should I make a big deal about it because it's the beginning of that slippery slope of porn, drinking, drugs, sex, etc ? What did your parents' do when you all got caught ?He is in big trouble for lying/blaming his brother and downloading crap on my computer. He was busted before for downloading Limewire onto my computer with viruses that caused a massive crash, so it doesn't appear that he learned his lesson. He keeps coming to my computer because his is too slow (it is ancient). He was going to get a new laptop for Christmas, but both of my kids lost their major present because they did not clean their room in time for Christmas. I'm really glad now that we decided to do that, because now I fear he would just overload a new computer with too much crap.He's lost the PSP (and PS2, all video game/comp type stuff) for now to pay for the downloading. He has to do a few of his brother's chores for blaming him. Do I need something else for the porn ? Or do I let it go and save the stern lectures for more important (to me) issues ?

[fitzinabox 0]

In punishment for watching the porn you should make him watch porn for 5 hours with his hands tied behind his back, lol!

[finztotheleft 0]

LOL...........nice !

[myenemy 0]

Yea, load it up with porn and then you can take it to work with you. Then when you get that urge sometime throughout the day you can wonder into a bathroom stall... whip out your PSP and your PP, and go to town.

LOL'ed

In punishment for watching the porn you should make him watch porn for 5 hours with his hands tied behind his back, lol!

And make it SCAT!

[RhinestoneCowboy 2]

Luckily, I thought to check his PSP download manager and saw the files that matched the names of the new desktop items.

Nice work gumshoe!

[Ouch-8s 4]

What did your parents' do when you all got caught ?

My dad took his magazines back and was almost as embarassed as I was. He also thought he hid them better from then on. He didn't, but I got better at hiding that I knew where they were...

[Nikki_N 17]

Hey Nik...if a girl seems to like me after I repeatedly insulted her, does that necessarily mean that I have to continue being an asshole in order to keep her attention?

I think you have to slowly ween off the ******* comments and if she still likes you, you're all good! I wouldn't base a relationship on insults, unless you just want to SIIHP.

Dear Nikki,What is an appropriate parental response when catching your 13 year old son downloading porn on your computer ?Truthfully, I know boys will be boys, and I'm more perturbed that he used my laptop...........and that he was too stupid to destroy the evidence and delete it from my computer after he had transferred it to his PSP. His response was that it is my fault that he had to use my laptop, because his computer has a parental lock on it (DOH!)

I was going to say I'd take the PSP, but I see below that you already did that. Good work.

Actually, the blaming me was his second approach to the issue (and kind of a joke). His first response (which he was serious about)was to blame his 11 year old brother (who had been using my computer with his friend, with my permission, earlier in the day). Because I hadn't seen him with my computer, and knew my youngest had used it, I almost believed him. I would have noticed the new icons on my desktop if it had been done earlier. I also thought that Joey (the 13 yo) would have known to delete the items, where his brother is not very computer savvy yet . Luckily, I thought to check his PSP download manager and saw the files that matched the names of the new desktop items.I'm not really mad about the porn.....it's more that I'm questioning should I punish him for that as well as the lying and downloading ? In the grand scheme of things, I figure this is a guy right of passage type thing. Like, I'd love both of them to not drink until they are 21. I don't think that's realistic . I'd settle for 17ish and never drinking/driving. Drinking at 14 and I'll kill him. So, should I make a big deal about it because it's the beginning of that slippery slope of porn, drinking, drugs, sex, etc ? What did your parents' do when you all got caught ?He is in big trouble for lying/blaming his brother and downloading crap on my computer. He was busted before for downloading Limewire onto my computer with viruses that caused a massive crash, so it doesn't appear that he learned his lesson. He keeps coming to my computer because his is too slow (it is ancient). He was going to get a new laptop for Christmas, but both of my kids lost their major present because they did not clean their room in time for Christmas. I'm really glad now that we decided to do that, because now I fear he would just overload a new computer with too much crap.He's lost the PSP (and PS2, all video game/comp type stuff) for now to pay for the downloading. He has to do a few of his brother's chores for blaming him. Do I need something else for the porn ? Or do I let it go and save the stern lectures for more important (to me) issues ?

Now, I love me some porn. The thing you may want to discuss, without it coming off as a lecture (I'm not sure I could pull this off, but I'd try) is how porn isn't what real relationships are like, and that some of the things that are being done are being done to entertain perverts (namely me, specbrad and ChuckSty). It may be important to delicately point out that grabbing a girl by the hair and gagging her on a **** while calling her a whore isn't sexy to most women (well, I got turned on just typing it, but as we've already established, I'm perv.) and should not be attempted in most cases. I think the discussion about real sex vs porn sex should happen.

[Nikki_N 17]

My dad took his magazines back and was almost as embarassed as I was. He also thought he hid them better from then on. He didn't, but I got better at hiding that I knew where they were...

My dad had a fantastic vhs porn collection.

[finztotheleft 0]

I think the discussion about real sex vs porn sex should happen.

Ah, that's a good point. I did cover the "Do you have any questions about blow jobs, vaginal intercourse, and anal intercourse and stimulation?" aspect..........and pointed out that the girl's big butt zit was just gross but I didn't think of that discussion.

[Ouch-8s 4]

My dad had a fantastic vhs porn collection.

Aside from a few current Penthouse mags in the closet, my dad had a collection of Playboys that spanned 10 years stored in the basement, which ended in the year and month of my birth. It also included the first Penthouse to show pubes. There were a lot of magazines, and I never thought he would miss any, so I pinched a bunch and sold them in school to other perverts like me. This plan worked great until I got caught by the teachers and I got to have a second fun talk with Dad about his porn habit. Grade seven was fun.

[Chris E 0]

It may be important to delicately point out that grabbing a girl by the hair and gagging her on a **** while calling her a whore isn't sexy to most women (well, I got turned on just typing it, but as we've already established, I'm perv.)

Date me?

[Influcted 0]

I was going to say I'd take the PSP, but I see below that you already did that. Good work.Now, I love me some porn. The thing you may want to discuss, without it coming off as a lecture (I'm not sure I could pull this off, but I'd try) is how porn isn't what real relationships are like, and that some of the things that are being done are being done to entertain perverts (namely me, specbrad and ChuckSty). It may be important to delicately point out that grabbing a girl by the hair and gagging her on a **** while calling her a whore isn't sexy to most women (well, I got turned on just typing it, but as we've already established, I'm perv.) and should not be attempted in most cases. I think the discussion about real sex vs porn sex should happen.

I wondered, what porn do you mostly like? I have the idea about you that you are into some either hardcore ****ing or some serious dominatrix stuff

[renaedawn 1]

I wondered, what porn do you mostly like? I have the idea about you that you are into some either hardcore ****ing or some serious dominatrix stuff

She's at school being librarian to some very lucky 5th graders today and won't be back for a while but I have a pretty good understanding, I think, of the porn Nik loves.She likes hardcore stuff with girls gagging and getting hair pulled and tied up and spanked but none of that "oh spank me, spank me" fluff. She wants the girls eyes to water while she's gagging and for her to look like it hurts a little a lot. She prefers girls more than boys in her porn.

[Lolli 0]

Would you just go ahead and do Lori so we can all move on?

Yeah, no shit! COME ON!

[Lolli 0]

She prefers girls more than boys in her porn.

Agreed 10000000%

[mtdesmoines 3]

Dear Nikki,I know that I don't know you guys very well but that actually helps with my problem. So I've been with my wife almost half my life and her family is like my family. Her sisters are like my sisters, maybe even more so than my actual sisters. So her youngest sister is Jamie, she is 18... I am 26 btw. So she decided to confide in me and only me as far as the family goes that she is a lesbian. I was fine with that and due to her age I knew that it wasn't set in stone and she would have plenty of time to figure that out. So then I meet her gf or the latest one anyway and that's where the problem lies. The girl is 14. Now I have many concerns including the legality, the ethics(is she forcing this on this girl), can she trust this girl with this secret(young people tend to have big mouths). Now up until now I have kept this secret even from my wife. She comes from a very religious family and while I don't believe they will disown her or anything, it won't go over well. I voiced my concerns to her and gave her all the negatives but she insist that they love each other and blah blah blah. So what do I do? Do I betray her confidence and bring an authority figure in?ThanksStephen

All joking about 18 y.o. lesbian sister in laws and underage girls aside .... wait, this is going to take a minute ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... .... .... ... 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OK, all that aside, as a society, we all protect kids -- first. That's a definite. The 14 yo is a child and not competent to make decisions about her sexuality yet. The relationship is inappropriate and you need to talk to you SIL about it ASAP. The message: I have this opinion and I'm giving you this one chance to end it. If not, your wife is the next step. We're not out to harm your SIL. We're probably actually protecting her, too. If the 14 yo parents hear about this, your SIL will likely end up in jail.

[mtdesmoines 3]

Actually, the blaming me was his second approach to the issue (and kind of a joke). His first response (which he was serious about) was to blame his 11 year old brother (who had been using my computer with his friend, with my permission, earlier in the day). Because I hadn't seen him with my computer, and knew my youngest had used it, I almost believed him. I would have noticed the new icons on my desktop if it had been done earlier. I also thought that Joey (the 13 yo) would have known to delete the items, where his brother is not very computer savvy yet . Luckily, I thought to check his PSP download manager and saw the files that matched the names of the new desktop items.I'm not really mad about the porn.....it's more that I'm questioning should I punish him for that as well as the lying and downloading ? In the grand scheme of things, I figure this is a guy right of passage type thing. Like, I'd love both of them to not drink until they are 21. I don't think that's realistic . I'd settle for 17ish and never drinking/driving. Drinking at 14 and I'll kill him. So, should I make a big deal about it because it's the beginning of that slippery slope of porn, drinking, drugs, sex, etc ? What did your parents' do when you all got caught ?He is in big trouble for lying/blaming his brother and downloading crap on my computer. He was busted before for downloading Limewire onto my computer with viruses that caused a massive crash, so it doesn't appear that he learned his lesson. He keeps coming to my computer because his is too slow (it is ancient). He was going to get a new laptop for Christmas, but both of my kids lost their major present because they did not clean their room in time for Christmas. I'm really glad now that we decided to do that, because now I fear he would just overload a new computer with too much crap.He's lost the PSP (and PS2, all video game/comp type stuff) for now to pay for the downloading. He has to do a few of his brother's chores for blaming him. Do I need something else for the porn ? Or do I let it go and save the stern lectures for more important (to me) issues ?

It all sounds normal. Instead of just saying "don't," it might be helpful to sit down and talk a long time and several times about why we restrict porn from minors, what sexual ethics we live by in our household, etc. ... bore him to death. Anyway, I don't know that I would let the little brother benefit from the older brother's mistakes. You may have just spawned a narc. I think that the best way to manage him is to sit him down and talk to him as much as possible. Make him. I know he'll resist, he'll act like you're stupid, he'll be whatever, but he'll also know you care. He'll internalize that.Good luck to both of us. My four kids are just heading into puberty. I am monitoring (sort of surreptitiously) email, etc. I don't see anything that worries me yet. But I know bumps in the road are coming.

[Nikki_N 17]

She's at school being librarian to some very lucky 5th graders today and won't be back for a while but I have a pretty good understanding, I think, of the porn Nik loves.She likes hardcore stuff with girls gagging and getting hair pulled and tied up and spanked but none of that "oh spank me, spank me" fluff. She wants the girls eyes to water while she's gagging and for her to look like it hurts a little a lot. She prefers girls more than boys in her porn.

Ren is absolutely right. Wanna make some porn?

Agreed 10000000%

Yum.Wanna make some porn?

[speedz99 145]

In punishment for watching the porn you should make him watch porn for 5 hours with his hands tied behind his back, lol!

I wish you had just let us type the "lol". But I like the idea.

I think you have to slowly ween off the ******* comments and if she still likes you, you're all good! I wouldn't base a relationship on insults, unless you just want to SIIHP.

I went out with her last night, and it took about five minutes for her to admit that I was giving her a complex about being older than me. I just can't help it...it's impossible for me to ignore good material for comedy (even if I'm only amusing myself).

She likes hardcore stuff with girls gagging and getting hair pulled and tied up and spanked but none of that "oh spank me, spank me" fluff. She wants the girls eyes to water while she's gagging and for her to look like it hurts a little a lot.

[lvpro 0]

I was thinking more like:I don't mind stealing breadFrom the mouths of decadenceBut I can't feed on the powerlessWhen my cups already overfilledBut it's on the tableThe fire is cookingAnd they're farming babiesWhile the slaves are workingThe blood is on the tableAnd their mouths are chokingBut I'm growing hungryHope that helps.

Winner.