Dear Nikki

[donk4life 34]

Dear Nikki,Every time I'm with Suited he always gets drunk and passes out before we can.. you know..Mind you, I still take advantage of him, but could you talk to him and tell him to control his alcohol addiction for just one night? All I ask for is 39 minutes of his time...Same goes for Chrozzo...

[chrozzo 19]

Dear Nikki,Every time I'm with Suited he always gets drunk and passes out before we can.. you know..Mind you, I still take advantage of him, but could you talk to him and tell him to control his alcohol addiction for just one night? All I ask for is 39 minutes of his time...Same goes for Chrozzo...

even I think thats asking a hell of a lot

[Jeepster80125 0]

Dear Nikki,I've got a question for you. I've been best friends with this girl Alison for about 7 years. She has two kids and has been seeing the guy for 5 years, and we all get along. I hang out with them probably three times a week. We all smoke pot, and we always get a bag to smoke when we hang out. They are struggling with cash right now. I'm not, but I'm not rich by any means.We usually get a bag that costs $50-$60, and split it. I'll usually cook dinner with my mad skills and sometimes I'll crash on the couch if I don't feel like driving or if I've drank. During the time we hang out, the pot smoking accessories are in a drawer in the kitchen. A few weeks ago I noticed a bag with a small nugget in it in that drawer, and concluded they must have got it somewhere other than the bag we got. The next time we hung out, I noticed the bag was short, and sure enough, there was another nugget. This time I was sure it was pinched because there was no nugget in the bag at the beginning of the night.I'm very easy going about things. I understand that my friends are going through tight times. This is why I don't have a problem paying 50% of the bag, even though I only smoke 33% of it. Should I say something to them about pinching the bag and keeping it until I'm not with them? Or should I just blow it off and not smoke as much with them in the future? Trouble in Paradise

[Ouch-8s 4]

Trouble in Paradise

stick a nug and a note in the drawer when you get there, before they have a chance to pinch. hilarity ensues when they try and stash nug #2.

[No_Neck 0]

stick a nug and a note in the drawer when you get there, before they have a chance to pinch. hilarity ensues when they try and stash nug #2.

I don't see how Nikki's advice can be any better than that.

[renaedawn 1]

Dear Nikki,I've got a question for you. I've been best friends with this girl Alison for about 7 years. She has two kids and has been seeing the guy for 5 years, and we all get along. I hang out with them probably three times a week. We all smoke pot, and we always get a bag to smoke when we hang out. They are struggling with cash right now. I'm not, but I'm not rich by any means.We usually get a bag that costs $50-$60, and split it. I'll usually cook dinner with my mad skills and sometimes I'll crash on the couch if I don't feel like driving or if I've drank. During the time we hang out, the pot smoking accessories are in a drawer in the kitchen. A few weeks ago I noticed a bag with a small nugget in it in that drawer, and concluded they must have got it somewhere other than the bag we got. The next time we hung out, I noticed the bag was short, and sure enough, there was another nugget. This time I was sure it was pinched because there was no nugget in the bag at the beginning of the night.I'm very easy going about things. I understand that my friends are going through tight times. This is why I don't have a problem paying 50% of the bag, even though I only smoke 33% of it. Should I say something to them about pinching the bag and keeping it until I'm not with them? Or should I just blow it off and not smoke as much with them in the future? Trouble in Paradise

Who does the buying?The buyer is entitled to a pinch because it's his ass that's going to jail if he gets busted making the buy.

[Jeepster80125 0]

Who does the buying?The buyer is entitled to a pinch because it's his ass that's going to jail if he gets busted making the buy.

We all go in when we buy. Our guy is a close friend of everyone.

[renaedawn 1]

We all go in when we buy. Our guy is a close friend of everyone.

Yeah, then you're getting screwed.If you like being friends with them and want to continue being friends, I would keep possession of the bag from the time the guy hands it over until you guys split it up back at their house from now on. They'll figure out why you're doing it eventually, will be embarassed that they got caught, and you'll all live happily ever after.If you don't care about losing the friendship, open the drawer next time you're in there doing something else and say something like "HEY GUYS LOOK AT WHAT I JUST FOUND! Looks like someone's pinching off the bag but I know neither of you would ever do that." And then punch them both in the baby maker.

[fryer98 30]

And then punch them both in the baby maker.

Or in the cock sucker. Whichever you prefer...

[Jadaki 0]

Or in the cock sucker. Whichever you prefer...

Head or gut?Bruce Willis movies used to be cool.

[Seymour Bluffs 0]

Dear Nikki,As of late due to a lack of a real life, have been spending more and more time browsing these here forums! As a result this has caused me to develop a bad case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and now my wrist and arm are in pain after only a few minutes of use,this is of concern to me because it really is affecting my sex life!I used to be able to yank it 4 or 5 times a day but am now lucky if I can manageto do it 1 or 2 times!My question to you is should IA -Quit visiting the forums so muchB- Get surgery to correct the conditionC- Buy an inflatable dollD- All of the above

[soup 0]

Dear Nikki,I was drunk, took this girl home and one thing led to another. So I stripped away her pants, then her underwear, and noticed she had a really bad case of Clitty Litter. Being the trooper I am, I flaked it off and road it high. Was this the proper etiquette? or should I have told her she had tainted goods. Thanks In Advance,Soup

[Jadaki 0]

Dear Nikki,I was drunk, took this girl home and one thing led to another. So I stripped away her pants, then her underwear, and noticed she had a really bad case of Clitty Litter. Being the trooper I am, I flaked it off and road it high. Was this the proper etiquette? or should I have told her she had tainted goods. Thanks In Advance,Soup

Dude... Wait, WHAT????

[Canuckickstan 2]

Dude... Wait, WHAT????

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Dear Nikki..You're in the kitchen with a... um.. playmate, and you're making dinner. Things start getting wild, and your playmate starts getting frisky, and requires corparol punishment. Since you're in the kitchen, you need to improvise... should you use A) a SpatulaB) a heavy wooden spoonC) A large cleaver ( which can double for edge play)D) a meat tenderizerE) Some other kitchen implement I can't think of.

[Jadaki 0]

E) Some other kitchen implement I can't think of.

Summer Sausage...

[speedz99 145]

C) A large cleaver ( which can double for edge play)

Before I met the Internet I never would have believed that such a thing existed.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Before I met the Internet I never would have believed that such a thing existed.

Allow Lindsey Lohan to demonstrate..

[chrozzo 19]

i think Nikki forgot about her thread

[renaedawn 1]

i think Nikki forgot about her thread

Nikki has been extremely busy. Besides having to play nursemaid when her husband got shot a couple of weeks ago, she is now back in school playing the Naughty Librarian you all wish you had.She'll be back.

[lvpro 0]

Nikki has been extremely busy. Besides having to play nursemaid when her husband got shot a couple of weeks ago, she is now back in school playing the Naughty Librarian you all wish you had.She'll be back.

My librarian was a cranky, bald old man who hated kids, I'm pretty sure. In fact, all of my librarian experiences have been negative ones. I wish Nik was my librarian.

[Dogpatch 2]

Allow Lindsey Lohan to demonstrate..

Nice throat.

[Nikki_N 17]

Nikki,Yeah so there a re a cople girls that i am interested in....but one of them smokes a lot. I have a big problem with this. Not only for my health, but I hate the smell. Is there any way to get over this?Chris

Well, she won't quit for you and the likelihood of this being something that won't bother you is slim, so I'd say the smoking is probably a deal breaker. Have you talked to the other one?

LOLZShe dresses as a rabbit I believe. She picked up the fetish while dressing as Bugs Bunny at Six Flags, but I'm not sure what she dresses as when she's yiffing.So I guess the question is... how do you choke a unique rabbit?

GenCon had a lot of scantily clad girls with animal ears on. It's not really my thing, but the bikini tops and short shorts were nice.

I sent it. Coincidentally on the same day she sent me a "Hey nice meeting you the other day" email.

Awesome! Have you two gone out yet?

Dear Nikki,We are hot, attractive, sexy men. Naturally, we like hot, attractive, sexy, women. Yet everytime we get close to one we become "the friend", "the brother", etc. Hw can we, the boys of the hideout, prevent this?Sincerely, chrozzoonlyme386suitedaces21hangukmigukdogpatchNapa_Donpckt10saadams_22rsmboxsocalpoker_jDoinSUblimecardwarfare

I'd skip the throat punching, but making it clear you are not interested in being 'just friends' (this suggestion was posted) is a good idea. Be clear about your intentions and be clear that if she doesn't share your feelings that you will move on. Girls often say that crap because they aren't attracted to you and don't want to be rude. There are more girls. Use your energy on one that's interested in your junk.

Dear Nikki,A few weeks ago I slept with this girl I met at a party. Things started out good but when I went down on her (like I always do...*munch munch*), I realized she had a HUGE bush and I was instantly turned off. (although like a champ, I finished) Since then she's been txt'ing me like crazy asking to hang out and take me out, etc...Is there a way to let her know that bushes are OUT and it's "skin to win" nowadays? Or should I just give her the silent treatment and move on to someone else?-Wand

This is a difficult situtation. Ren's suggestion below is good, but if she doesn't want to trim it up, you have to decided whether or not it turns you off enough to kick her out of bed. btw: I think bald is funny looking. I prefer the well groomed landing strip.

Nikki's quite busy lately and probably will be for a few more days so I'll take a shot at answering this for her.When the conversation turns to things like pop culture, try to steer the conversation around to something like the antics of Paris/Britney/Lindsey. Then you could casually mention the beaver shots of Brittney that showed up on the internet. Casually throw in there that you noticed that Brittney shaves and you didn't know if that was unusual or a common occurrence. She'll undoubtedly expound on her thoughts of feminine hygiene/hair removal and you should get the opportunity to say something offhandedly like "it doesn't really matter all that much to me but trimmed up and groomed nicely is always good".

Thanks, Ren.I had a busy couple of weeks with taking care of Dave and then my job starting back up. Then it was Gen Con time (wahoo!) and not only was I busy gaming, but I got to work for WotC again (wahoo! Thanks again Ray Powers for opening this door for me!). I've been in full geek form over the weekend running tournaments for guys who like to play with tanks and army men. It was good times.

[Nikki_N 17]

Dear Nikki,Every time I'm with Suited he always gets drunk and passes out before we can.. you know..Mind you, I still take advantage of him, but could you talk to him and tell him to control his alcohol addiction for just one night? All I ask for is 39 minutes of his time...Same goes for Chrozzo...

You know they can't control their alcohol addiction. Besides if they're not drunk, they'd feel the pain of your giant rod piercing their colon. Think of it as anesthesia.

Dear Nikki,I've got a question for you. I've been best friends with this girl Alison for about 7 years. She has two kids and has been seeing the guy for 5 years, and we all get along. I hang out with them probably three times a week. We all smoke pot, and we always get a bag to smoke when we hang out. They are struggling with cash right now. I'm not, but I'm not rich by any means.We usually get a bag that costs $50-$60, and split it. I'll usually cook dinner with my mad skills and sometimes I'll crash on the couch if I don't feel like driving or if I've drank. During the time we hang out, the pot smoking accessories are in a drawer in the kitchen. A few weeks ago I noticed a bag with a small nugget in it in that drawer, and concluded they must have got it somewhere other than the bag we got. The next time we hung out, I noticed the bag was short, and sure enough, there was another nugget. This time I was sure it was pinched because there was no nugget in the bag at the beginning of the night.I'm very easy going about things. I understand that my friends are going through tight times. This is why I don't have a problem paying 50% of the bag, even though I only smoke 33% of it. Should I say something to them about pinching the bag and keeping it until I'm not with them? Or should I just blow it off and not smoke as much with them in the future? Trouble in Paradise

I like the previous advice just fine being that Ren and the other stoners are much more well versed on the subject. I don't know that I'd want to encourage them to spend what little they make on pot when they have kids to look after. I might just buy and smoke my own and leave them out of the deal. On the other hand they'd probably buy the whole bag themselves and the kids would suffer for it. It's a conundrum for sure.

Dear Nikki,As of late due to a lack of a real life, have been spending more and more time browsing these here forums! As a result this has caused me to develop a bad case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and now my wrist and arm are in pain after only a few minutes of use,this is of concern to me because it really is affecting my sex life!I used to be able to yank it 4 or 5 times a day but am now lucky if I can manageto do it 1 or 2 times!My question to you is should IA -Quit visiting the forums so muchB- Get surgery to correct the conditionC- Buy an inflatable dollD- All of the above

C

[Nikki_N 17]

Dear Nikki..You're in the kitchen with a... um.. playmate, and you're making dinner. Things start getting wild, and your playmate starts getting frisky, and requires corparol punishment. Since you're in the kitchen, you need to improvise... should you use A) a SpatulaB) a heavy wooden spoonC) A large cleaver ( which can double for edge play)D) a meat tenderizerE) Some other kitchen implement I can't think of.

BThe tenderizer is more like assault and battery then punishment for a naughty little girl. I'm not into knife play so I'm gonna say no to the cleaver. After the wooden spoon and maybe the spatula, you could tickle her with the basting brush. The turkey baster could be fun, but be sure not to blow air into her with it. Just use it as a phallus.