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Dear Nikki,I have been with my wife for over two years. I love this woman and she is a great person. However we have been having some problems as of late, nothing big mind you just the normal litle fights that I believe happen in every relationship. So this past weekend I went out and visited some friends of mine. Well I met this really cool girl out there. She was basically the kind of girl that I thought i would end up with when I was younger. So I get home and I am stoked to see my wife and all, but as I'm driving to work and throughout the day all I can think of is this girl I met. I think to my self, Self ... you chose this life that you are living now, My wife and I have been there for each other through a lot and we love each other. So why won't this girl get out of my mind? Is it just infatuation? and how can i tell if it's more than just infatuation?Thanks.

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Dear Nikki,I have been with my wife for over two years. I love this woman and she is a great person. However we have been having some problems as of late, nothing big mind you just the normal litle fights that I believe happen in every relationship. So this past weekend I went out and visited some friends of mine. Well I met this really cool girl out there. She was basically the kind of girl that I thought i would end up with when I was younger. So I get home and I am stoked to see my wife and all, but as I'm driving to work and throughout the day all I can think of is this girl I met. I think to my self, Self ... you chose this life that you are living now, My wife and I have been there for each other through a lot and we love each other. So why won't this girl get out of my mind? Is it just infatuation? and how can i tell if it's more than just infatuation?Thanks.
Threeway. BTW This is my response to everything
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So why won't this girl get out of my mind? Is it just infatuation? and how can i tell if it's more than just infatuation?
Because you're a man.Yes.It's not. You know virtually nothing about her and it's infatuation. Get back home to your wife.
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Because you're a man.Yes.It's not. You know virtually nothing about her and it's infatuation. Get back home to your wife.
Theres a great episode of the Simpsons, I cant remember which girl it was but Homer was tempted to cheat on his wife and then gets Chinese food and a fortune cookie says something like "You will find new love in another person". To which Homer is worried because "Even desserts want me to cheat". Then in the Chinese food kitchen they run out of fortune cookies so the chef yells "Oh just open the 'Stick with your wife' barrel".Relevant?
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Theres a great episode of the Simpsons, I cant remember which girl it was but Homer was tempted to cheat on his wife and then gets Chinese food and a fortune cookie says something like "You will find new love in another person". To which Homer is worried because "Even desserts want me to cheat". Then in the Chinese food kitchen they run out of fortune cookies so the chef yells "Oh just open the 'Stick with your wife' barrel".Relevant?
The country singer, I think, was the girl...Lurlene maybe? He became Colonel Homer.
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The country singer, I think, was the girl...Lurlene maybe? He became Colonel Homer.
No that's a different episode. This one was with the chick from work.. Mindy I think. Homer was upset because "desserts are never wrong". Then later on Mindy has an idea that "could get us in a lot of trouble. Let's do it! Let's call room service!"Good episode :club:
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No that's a different episode. This one was with the chick from work.. Mindy I think. Homer was upset because "desserts are never wrong". Then later on Mindy has an idea that "could get us in a lot of trouble. Let's do it! Let's call room service!"Good episode :club:
Oh MargieYou cameand you brought mea turkey,on my vacation away from workie...
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No that's a different episode. This one was with the chick from work.. Mindy I think. Homer was upset because "desserts are never wrong". Then later on Mindy has an idea that "could get us in a lot of trouble. Let's do it! Let's call room service!"Good episode :club:
!
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Dear Nikki,I have been with my wife for over two years. I love this woman and she is a great person. However we have been having some problems as of late, nothing big mind you just the normal litle fights that I believe happen in every relationship. So this past weekend I went out and visited some friends of mine. Well I met this really cool girl out there. She was basically the kind of girl that I thought i would end up with when I was younger. So I get home and I am stoked to see my wife and all, but as I'm driving to work and throughout the day all I can think of is this girl I met. I think to my self, Self ... you chose this life that you are living now, My wife and I have been there for each other through a lot and we love each other. So why won't this girl get out of my mind? Is it just infatuation? and how can i tell if it's more than just infatuation?Thanks.
Your feelings of excitement over something new are normal. Everyone gets these occasionally. If you like being married and you are not involved in an open marriage, keep your musings and fantasies about this girl in your brain. Use this for jerking off in the shower. In the mean time, you and the wife may need a little sexual recharge. Little fights can really squelch sexual desire. If you can take the high road and put them out of your mind for a bit that would be good. Do something nice for the wife. I recommend the dishes or the laundry. Get a sitter if you have kids, and take her to dinner. Then really put it to her that evening. Talk a little dirty if you don't usually, or go down on her until she's a quivering mass of happiness. I'm not saying you won't have another argument the next day, or that this other girl will disappear from your brain, but it's important to keep things strong with your mate all the time. Don't fall prey to "the grass is always greener" syndrome.GL
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I was thinking, with the new craze that is justintv.com, I think Nik should do a nightly broadcast of "Ask Nikki Live". I also think this should be done in her bra and panites! :club:

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I was thinking, with the new craze that is justintv.com, I think Nik should do a nightly broadcast of "Ask Nikki Live". I also think this should be done in her bra and panites! :club:
I second, and with SA21's alter egos 3rd through 27th it.
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Dear Nikki,About a year and a half ago i met this amazingly awesome girl and for 8 months or so we talked to eachother non-stop in an entirely friend-only kind of way, we were really close to eachother and i loved/love her to bits. She's like the prettiest person i've ever seen and i guess i would have loved us to be more than friends, but i knew there wasn't a chance of that so that didn't really bother me. I don't know why, but about 10 months ago i went through a phase of deep depression and unsociableness and spotted talking to her, eventualy we just drifted apart because she's not in my year at school so i hardly ever see her anyway. She's dead popular so i don't think she missed me that much, so i just left her alone. Sometimes i tried to talk to her, and i just couldn't think of anything i could say, i'm not an interesting guy and whatever we had by way of a relationship was gone, it felt really awkward because nothing flowed like last time and everything i said felt contrived. I was speaking to her today, and she told me she was on anti-depressants. I'm not sure why, but this acctualy made me feel sick, i couldn't believe it, when i'd spoke to her she was one of the happiest people i'd ever met and i was the depressive one, now it's the other way round and i can't get over it. Part of me feels guilty because someone i really liked was going through the shittest phase of their life and i couldn't be bothered to try and talk/help them, part of me feels angry at life because he doesn't deserve to feel like that, and most of me feels deep sadness that she's no longer the person i remember, that she's changed so much. I know teenagers go through stuff like this and change as people, but she used to be so happy and talkative, and now she's blandly apathetic and unresponsive, this is probably selfish but i feel more than ever like i want to talk to her and help her through this. It's hard though, as a lot has changed since we last spoke and it's like we're both different people now, i'm not sure if she resents me for stuff or if she's like this for everyone, but it's really getting to me.What do i do? Is it normal to feel that way? Should i just try and stop being so patheticaly obsessed with someone who i barely talk to anymore? How do you get over people you really like but have no chance with? Life sucks.

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Dear Nikki,About a year and a half ago i met this amazingly awesome girl and for 8 months or so we talked to eachother non-stop in an entirely friend-only kind of way, we were really close to eachother and i loved/love her to bits. She's like the prettiest person i've ever seen and i guess i would have loved us to be more than friends, but i knew there wasn't a chance of that so that didn't really bother me. I don't know why, but about 10 months ago i went through a phase of deep depression and unsociableness and spotted talking to her, eventualy we just drifted apart because she's not in my year at school so i hardly ever see her anyway. She's dead popular so i don't think she missed me that much, so i just left her alone. Sometimes i tried to talk to her, and i just couldn't think of anything i could say, i'm not an interesting guy and whatever we had by way of a relationship was gone, it felt really awkward because nothing flowed like last time and everything i said felt contrived. I was speaking to her today, and she told me she was on anti-depressants. I'm not sure why, but this acctualy made me feel sick, i couldn't believe it, when i'd spoke to her she was one of the happiest people i'd ever met and i was the depressive one, now it's the other way round and i can't get over it. Part of me feels guilty because someone i really liked was going through the shittest phase of their life and i couldn't be bothered to try and talk/help them, part of me feels angry at life because he doesn't deserve to feel like that, and most of me feels deep sadness that she's no longer the person i remember, that she's changed so much. I know teenagers go through stuff like this and change as people, but she used to be so happy and talkative, and now she's blandly apathetic and unresponsive, this is probably selfish but i feel more than ever like i want to talk to her and help her through this. It's hard though, as a lot has changed since we last spoke and it's like we're both different people now, i'm not sure if she resents me for stuff or if she's like this for everyone, but it's really getting to me.What do i do? Is it normal to feel that way? Should i just try and stop being so patheticaly obsessed with someone who i barely talk to anymore? How do you get over people you really like but have no chance with? Life sucks.
I'm really torn on how to counsel you here. The big-hearted part of me wants to tell you to reconnect and hug her up and make it all better. Instead I'm going to be realistic and tell you that you can't fix her. As sad as it is, if she is on meds, that means she has a medical condition and that needs to be treated by a doctor and a trained counselor. Also, I know that you love her still, but venturing into this relationship, friendship or otherwise could be dangerous for your own somewhat tentative mental health. The hard reality is this: When you are a teenager, nothing stays the same from year to year or even month to month. It's true many of us "old folk" still have a couple of close friends from our school days, but for the most part, all of those intense emotional bonds we forge with those kids who at the time are feeling how we feel, and experiencing the same trials and tribulations are broken. I'm not saying this to dishearten you. I'm saying that things change so quickly in high school that sometimes it's best to move on. Ultimately, the dynamic nature of high school friendships help us to learn about people and ourselves so we can grow.If she reaches out to you, don't turn her away, but don't take on her problems as your own. Keep at least some emotional distance for your own safety. Other than that, I wouldn't bug her. If she is in a bad place, it could only serve to hurt her more and you will be crushed if she rejects you.Also, do not internalize her problems. You DID NOT cause her depression. Blaming yourself, even in part, won't help her. You can't take responsibility for something over which you have no control. Her depression is exactly that, HER depression. Sheik, you need to worry about you. You need healthy people around you that build you up. I hope you have friends like that to turn to. Also, if you feel yourself falling into a depression again, you need to seek help from a professional. Hang in there, babe.Nik
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What do i do? Is it normal to feel that way? Should i just try and stop being so patheticaly obsessed with someone who i barely talk to anymore? How do you get over people you really like but have no chance with? Life sucks.
Going backward ... life doesn't suck. You're suffering through the trials of your age and inexperience, which is perfectly normal. You get over people by meeting new people ... people you do have a chance with. Yes, you should try to not be pathetically obsessed over anyone. Sure, it's normal, but you need to learn strategies to deal with these things. Go meet new people.
I'm really torn on how to counsel you here. The big-hearted part of me wants to tell you to reconnect and hug her up and make it all better. Instead I'm going to be realistic and tell you that you can't fix her. As sad as it is, if she is on meds, that means she has a medical condition and that needs to be treated by a doctor and a trained counselor. Also, I know that you love her still, but venturing into this relationship, friendship or otherwise could be dangerous for your own somewhat tentative mental health. The hard reality is this: When you are a teenager, nothing stays the same from year to year or even month to month. It's true many of us "old folk" still have a couple of close friends from our school days, but for the most part, all of those intense emotional bonds we forge with those kids who at the time are feeling how we feel, and experiencing the same trials and tribulations are broken. I'm not saying this to dishearten you. I'm saying that things change so quickly in high school that sometimes it's best to move on. Ultimately, the dynamic nature of high school friendships help us to learn about people and ourselves so we can grow.If she reaches out to you, don't turn her away, but don't take on her problems as your own. Keep at least some emotional distance for your own safety. Other than that, I wouldn't bug her. If she is in a bad place, it could only serve to hurt her more and you will be crushed if she rejects you.Also, do not internalize her problems. You DID NOT cause her depression. Blaming yourself, even in part, won't help her. You can't take responsibility for something over which you have no control. Her depression is exactly that, HER depression. Sheik, you need to worry about you. You need healthy people around you that build you up. I hope you have friends like that to turn to. Also, if you feel yourself falling into a depression again, you need to seek help from a professional. Hang in there, babe.Nik
Nice, Nik. Seriously.
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dear nikki,i've just devirginized a girl i've been dating for about a month. we're both 24. i've had about 35 partners (to put things in perspective) and she was aware of my past. i explained very openly that i was not 100% comfortable with the whole thing. we talked about it very openly, and it happened. it was her pushing it, as i was fine at just the oral (we're both great at it). my question is what kind of emotional stuff is attached to that sort of thing? my guess is that she'll eventually either hate my guts forever or always be IN LUV with me. just kind of curious as to what i can expect. thanks.-navy

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dear nikki,i've just devirginized a girl i've been dating for about a month. we're both 24. i've had about 35 partners (to put things in perspective) and she was aware of my past. i explained very openly that i was not 100% comfortable with the whole thing. we talked about it very openly, and it happened. it was her pushing it, as i was fine at just the oral (we're both great at it). my question is what kind of emotional stuff is attached to that sort of thing? my guess is that she'll eventually either hate my guts forever or always be IN LUV with me. just kind of curious as to what i can expect. thanks.-navy
There is a lot of emotional stuff involved here. A lot of it will be hers, but you have some, too. Be assured that even if she does eventually hate your guts over something, she will love you forever. She CHOSE you. This matters to women. It matters a lot. Honor it, no matter where the relationship goes from here.
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