Fun W/ Cops While Underage And Shitfaced

[darkrider88 0]

I'm not so sure it is a smart idea to post this, but I've never lied to a cop before...Without getting into unimportant details, I am in a car, with a girl (we'll call her Sarah), and we are parked in an empy lot. We use to go out, but currently I've just been hooking up w/ her (she is best friends with my gf, all women are sluts). Instead of hooking up however, she was apologizing for some BS she did earlier that night and talking. We were coming from a busted party, and I was slightly buzzed, but alright to drive. She had more drinks than was socially acceptable or healthy, and was presently bombed. Most importantly, we are both underage.I look out my left window and see a car pull up without its headlights on. My first thoughts are "what deuschbag friend of mine thinks he's being sneaky by not having his headlights on." That was until I saw his siren start to go off.Ladies and gentleman, we have cops. In my drunken stupor, I decide that it would be a smart idea to get out of my car and walk to him. I immediately get pegged with "get the hell back into your car, NOW!" As I re-open my car door, I see Sarah frozen with an expression of terror. Two more cop cars pull up.The cop knocks on my window, flashlight in hand, looking just like the terminator from T2 (helmet and everything). Then it hits me: my keys are underneath my foot, along with a bottle of Absolut. Oh ****. With shear luck I manage to flip the keys into my hand with my foot by sliding it against the seat, turn the car on, and roll down the windows. The cop stares deep into my eyes, and then Sarah's, and immediately suspects drinking. I figure if I was by myself I could get my way out of this, but Sarah is so shitfaced that we may be caught. The first conversation looks something like this.Officer: Give me your ID -We both hand him our licenses.Officer: What are you doing parked hereMe: We are just talking, because we are in a fight and I did not want to fight while driving.Officer: How old are you.Me:19Sarah: (Says something that sounds a lot like gibberish)Officer: What?Me: She is 18, she is just very scared.Officer: Did I ask you to talk?Before he asks it, I know his next question. He is going to ask us if we drank tonight, and I am going to have to make a choice. I can try to bluff him, and hope Sarah doesn't say anything stupid, with the chance that they might just be trying to scare us and let us get away without being tested. The obvious downside is that if he breathalizes either of us, we are ****ed. If I confess now, everything will go a lot smoother, but I'm guranteed to be ****ed. Until he asks, I'm not sure what I am going to say.Officer: Have you been drinking tonight?Me: No-The bluff begins.Officer: Are you sure? You definitely haven't been drinking?Me: No officer, I assure you that I am perfectly fine.Officer: What about her, has she had anything?Her: No (she says this very quietely)Officer (looking at me): Did she have anything to drink tonight?-Faced with another choice, I decide to continue the bluff. This one is much tougher to make.Me: No officer. We were coming from a friend's house, and I pulled over here to talk. I can understand why this looks suspicious, and if it is okay I am going to take her home right now and we can forget this.Officer: YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNLESS I TELL YOU TO. SIT HERE.Sarah then informs me that she may puke at any instant, which I don't doubt would destroy our bluff. The words "DUI" and "Felony" run through my head. My heart has broken 200 BPM, and I am trying to remember a technique to fool a breathalizer that my friend taught me once. Then the dike appeared.Knocking on Sarah's window, I roll it down from my side because she is too shitfaced. A fat, fugly- dike-of-a-cop with more wrinkles than an old man's hairy *** is giving us the stare down. Shining a flashlight into Sarah's eyes, the questioning begins.Dike: How much have you had to drink?-I silently praySarah (After a pause): NothingDike (more forceful): I said, how much have you had to drink?Sarah (almost crying): Nothing, I sw...sw...swear.Me (saving the day): Sarah it's ok, don't be scared we both know we are fine just answer the lady's questions.Dike: HOW MUCH DID YOU DRINK TONIGHT?Sarah, with her bottom lip trembling, swaying from side to side, finally mutters a "nothing". Suddenly I thought "this may work out!"That was until I saw out of the corner of my eye Sarah lean over and puke her guts out. On my car floor. With a cop a foot away. Looking back at the cop, I see she is scratching her cooch and talking to the other officer, oblivious to Sarah's "accident". I think we are ****ed until she asks this.Dike: So you been smoking some pot? Doing some weed?-I now know she is on the wrong ****ing trail. The bluff has worked, and she is picking up her cards!Me: No no, we are both athletes, that is retarded!Sarah: Yea, I'm an athlete.Dike: Stay right here.After two minutes , I decide that they are getting the breathlizer, and that I am ****ed once again. That is until T2 comes up to our car and says "here are your licenses, get the hell out of here, and I do not want to see you again tonight. Get her home immediately. I thanked him and took back my driver's license. Driving home, I realized this was a lot like a big poker hand. The cop had position on me the whole time ( I had to act first, and he interpreted my actions), I bluffed on the flop (we didn't drink), and then continued the bluff to the river. Finally, after deliberation and asking questions, the opponent realized that breathalizing us would have been pointless, and decided to not waste their time and fold. The biggest bluff of my life thus far. To close this story, I leave a few points.1. Do not park in empy parking lots, no matter how deserted.2. You better have nerves of steel to bluff a cop.3. Sex after having the biggest adrenaline rush of your life, combined with makeup sex, is mindblowing. I highly reccomend it.

[No_Neck 0]

if you took the keys out of the ignition he would not have been able to get your DUI or DWI. If the car is on your are screwed. Just so you know.\Good story, police make me nervous even when I am not doing anything wrong. I never trusted the man.

[darkrider88 0]

if you took the keys out of the ignition he would not have been able to get your DUI or DWI. If the car is on your are screwed. Just so you know.

In PA, I'm pretty sure if you are caught in a car drunk, you are basicially screwed (especially underage).

[fatman 1]

In PA, I'm pretty sure if you are caught in a car drunk, you are basicially screwed (especially underage).

I think that if you are caught drunk anwhere when underage you are screwed. Good story though.

[DoinSublime 0]

I hate cops.Don't drink and drive though. You're much better of smoking weed.

[JeremyG 0]

Your girlfriend needs to learn to control her tells, though.I was reading in this book called "Read 'em and Reap" that puking while bluffing is a BIG tell. ;)Good thing the dyke didn't read it!

[theresa113 0]

OK... here is the mom (sorry, you know I can not resist) ... please look at this as your one get out of jail free card. Drinking and driving is not good at ANY AGE. Cute story, but please be careful. I lost my dad to a drunk driver so it freaks me out when I read about young people drinking and then driving. Trust me, you never want to be in the situation where someone dies because of your actions.

[MapleLeafs 142]

and I am trying to remember a technique to fool a breathalizer that my friend taught me once.

There aren't any.

[MasterLJ 0]

There aren't any.

QFT

[showstopper24 0]

if you took the keys out of the ignition he would not have been able to get your DUI or DWI. If the car is on your are screwed. Just so you know.\Good story, police make me nervous even when I am not doing anything wrong. I never trusted the man.

I've heard this also, that you can't get a DUI while the keys aren't in the ignition, but that has nothing to do with being underage

[ncperrotta069 0]

In PA, I'm pretty sure if you are caught in a car drunk, you are basicially screwed (especially underage).

were u at in PA

[psujohn 0]

if you took the keys out of the ignition he would not have been able to get your DUI or DWI. If the car is on your are screwed. Just so you know.\

That was my first reaction too. But if the windows won't go down without the keys in the ignition and you refuse to put the keys in the ignition ... that's a major tell to keep the analogy going.

[Figger 0]

In PA, I'm pretty sure if you are caught in a car drunk, you are basicially screwed (especially underage).

It may vary from state to state, but my understanding is the keys need to be outside of the car. If they are in the car (in the ignition or not) that's enough.So actually, toss them underneath the car.

[Kuge 0]

I would be really impressed if you were a minority in the story. But nice job nonetheless. (Unless you were a minority, then WOW)

[mr_english 0]

I have to add a couple of points here, now that I am older my point of view has changed somewhat.1. If you are "Buzzed" you are not OK to drive, dont care what you think here. I dont know what its like where you live but just come up here to seattle and look for all the memorials people put on the road sides.2. You can get busted if drunk and with keys even if you are sleeping on the back seat (I know somebody that it happened to)3. If the girl was as sh1t faced as you claim and from your cards they know your age, then no way they believe you.And finally, Many years ago a friend of mine was living with his grandma, he was out drinking and got sh1t faced, the buddy he was with could not drive he was so drunk so he decided to drive. They got about 4 miles down the road when he rolled it into a ditch. He got out and started walking, did not check on buddy who was in car with broken arm. Somebody stopped to give him a lift.Seveal hours later he is in bed and the cops come, they allow him to go take a piss before giving him a breathilizer test, he had heard that if you chew one of those tablets that they drop in the class with the false teeth to clean them that it will fool the test, so he decided to try it. It worked an he passed the test, however they still arrested him for leaving scene of accident, no insurance etc etc. He lost his license for two years plus a fine and probation

[darkrider88 0]

Just wanted to say...I completely understand DUI is absolutely terrible and there is no excuse. That was my last time doing it, and the only reason I did it to begin with was because cops busted the party we were both at.I feel like **** about doing it, and it kind of dawned on me how ****ing stupid it is. Not only am I hurting myself, I could easily **** up the life of someone else. I was an ******* for doing it.

[mcpickl 0]

Congratulations OP, you're an *******.Drinking and driving is awesome, hasn't ruined anyones' lives ever.Well done.

[The Enforcer 0]

I have to add a couple of points here, now that I am older my point of view has changed somewhat.1. If you are "Buzzed" you are not OK to drive, dont care what you think here. I dont know what its like where you live but just come up here to seattle and look for all the memorials people put on the road sides.2. You can get busted if drunk and with keys even if you are sleeping on the back seat (I know somebody that it happened to)3. If the girl was as sh1t faced as you claim and from your cards they know your age, then no way they believe you.And finally, Many years ago a friend of mine was living with his grandma, he was out drinking and got sh1t faced, the buddy he was with could not drive he was so drunk so he decided to drive. They got about 4 miles down the road when he rolled it into a ditch. He got out and started walking, did not check on buddy who was in car with broken arm. Somebody stopped to give him a lift.Seveal hours later he is in bed and the cops come, they allow him to go take a piss before giving him a breathilizer test, he had heard that if you chew one of those tablets that they drop in the class with the false teeth to clean them that it will fool the test, so he decided to try it. It worked an he passed the test, however they still arrested him for leaving scene of accident, no insurance etc etc. He lost his license for two years plus a fine and probation

where can one purchase such tablets?

[aggyanglr 0]

"3. Sex after having the biggest adrenaline rush of your life, combined with makeup sex, is mindblowing. I highly reccomend it."Having sex with a chick who just hurled all over the interior of my car is -EV in my book.

[crocd99 0]

Just wanted to say...I completely understand DUI is absolutely terrible and there is no excuse. That was my last time doing it, and the only reason I did it to begin with was because cops busted the party we were both at.I feel like **** about doing it, and it kind of dawned on me how ****ing stupid it is. Not only am I hurting myself, I could easily **** up the life of someone else. I was an ******* for doing it.

just wanted to say....that i find it hard to beleive you really feel this way based on the way you wrote your original post. but i really hope you do.i am a strong believer that people make mistakes and i really hope you now understand that this was a mistake. further i would like to say that i really dont think you bluffed that cops. i think the officer might of just cut you a break or could of been called to the scene of another crime and had to get there asap and thus let you go.

[No_Neck 0]

I ment to add I have an uncle that was hit head on by a drunk driver, he came across the median and hit my uncles car... he didn't make it. He has a kid was 3 years old at the time that will never know his dad. Also the man is in jail for 10 years on manslaughter charges. Something to think about...

[Yoda 1]

Have you been smoking weed? "No, No. We are both athletes." ??? I would've sprayed you in the face with pepper spray right there.

[blakheart 3]

[That was until I saw out of the corner of my eye Sarah lean over and puke her guts out. /quote]

Sex after having the biggest adrenaline rush of your life, combined with makeup sex, is mindblowing. I highly reccomend it.

Please tell me you got her from behind- Or I may just hurl myself.

[starfit 0]

if you took the keys out of the ignition he would not have been able to get your DUI or DWI. If the car is on your are screwed. Just so you know.\

You used your keys to get into your car. They could bust you on that alone.

[Jennings7 0]

I have to add a couple of points here, now that I am older my point of view has changed somewhat.1. If you are "Buzzed" you are not OK to drive, dont care what you think here. I dont know what its like where you live but just come up here to seattle and look for all the memorials people put on the road sides.2. You can get busted if drunk and with keys even if you are sleeping on the back seat (I know somebody that it happened to)3. If the girl was as sh1t faced as you claim and from your cards they know your age, then no way they believe you.And finally, Many years ago a friend of mine was living with his grandma, he was out drinking and got sh1t faced, the buddy he was with could not drive he was so drunk so he decided to drive. They got about 4 miles down the road when he rolled it into a ditch. He got out and started walking, did not check on buddy who was in car with broken arm. Somebody stopped to give him a lift.Seveal hours later he is in bed and the cops come, they allow him to go take a piss before giving him a breathilizer test, he had heard that if you chew one of those tablets that they drop in the class with the false teeth to clean them that it will fool the test, so he decided to try it. It worked an he passed the test, however they still arrested him for leaving scene of accident, no insurance etc etc. He lost his license for two years plus a fine and probation

Everyone has a story of something unfortunate that has happened due to drinking. There is no need to lecture on the dangers of it.