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LOLThe next great joke account?I was seriously debating a Brandi account but it seemed too obvious.
I'd rather see it done by a funny man like yourself, rather than some forum idiot.UPDATE: I love pauly.NSFW pics of brandi here. She has the most disgusting nipples I think I have ever seen.http://www.neverwinpoker.com/phpnuke/html/ftopict-28926.htmlHer blog:http://people.tribe.net/kallisti"So much in my life has taught me humility. If I were to thank someone, I wouldn't know where to begin. As of lately, it took one perverted old man trying to rape me and then making off with my entire bank roll and leaving me stranded on the other side of the country. Since then, I've really come to find out who my friends are. Why is it that everyone seems to be your "friend" when they want something, yet no one is there when it is you that is in need."Right, brandi, right.PS- sorry if this has been posted in this thread before. Make a note, and I'll delete it. I am at work and don't have time sift through this entire thread.
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I'd rather see it done by a funny man like yourself, rather than some forum idiot.NSFW pics of brandi here. She has the most disgusting nipples I think I have ever seen.http://www.neverwinpoker.com/phpnuke/html/ftopict-28926.html
She has nipplecocks!!! Ewww...I'm funny? Really????What was it Mike said? .....Vindication!!!!!!!!
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D'oh...You have been banned at the The 2+2 Forums.Reason: trying to get around profanity filter and offensive post in brandi thread -RBBan duration: User is banned permanently. I guess getting around the profanity filter is a no-no, but everything else is a go.Whoops.

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I'd rather see it done by a funny man like yourself, rather than some forum idiot.UPDATE: I love pauly.NSFW pics of brandi here. She has the most disgusting nipples I think I have ever seen.http://www.neverwinpoker.com/phpnuke/html/ftopict-28926.htmlHer blog:http://people.tribe.net/kallisti
LMAO, she uses that nipple pic as her avatar for her blog.
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I can't speak for the veracity of the author's story. I can, however, attest to the fact that some of her 'story' sounds like pathological lying. I once was involved with a pathological liar. I even married her, even though it turned out she was already married. She could spin the greatest tales and make me beleive everything was just fine. Now, everyone who has some kind of story just sounds like they're out to get something for free. There must be something to her story, though, but I doubt it's 100% true.That being said, Captain Tom sounds like a d.ouche. Who the fizzuck calls themselves "Captain" anyway?

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she's back...

Like all good lies... this story definitely has an element of truth. Although that element is VERY small indeed. I will not go into all the details or write something extremely long just to make my story look credible (cough * Mark * cough)... what I will say is this though... I started spending time with Newhouse after he was kind enough to help me out with a ticket back to Vegas. We then started talking on the phone a lot and he was there for emotional support. The boy is in love with Chantel. I felt bad for him and tried to help him out. I got him on vitamins, took him running with me and motivated him to work out, tried to make sure he took a shower at least once a day and brushed his teeth. The boy is absolutely disgusting and has no personal hygiene. Besides that, he has only been with four women in his whole life. All one night stands. The last one was a prostitute. It is TRUE that he has been crying a lot. He keeps getting outplayed in the big cash games. He cries because he only has a half million left and he's lost so much money since his winnings, etc. etc. The reason he is publicly attacking me is 1. because he does not want his fans here to know the truth. 2. that he himself thinks he is an amazing poker player and does not want to be seen playing smaller limits 3. because I did not sleep with him. So pretty much, he's being an [censored]because he's immature and didn't get any from me. I DID lose money on his account ~ although he told me what to play and how to play. He was right there for most of it telling me what to do. We also NEVER had any sort of arrangement. The whole thing started because he wanted to teach me how to play. It's his own damn fault he's busted. Not mine. And I don't appreciate being blamed for it. I don't know where these elaborate stories on his behalf are coming from, but I'm VERY upset about it. This is the last thing I need to deal with right now. It is true that I cut myself. Mark was saying some pretty mean things to me. I had drank over an entire bottle of red wine by myself. I cracked the bottle and cut myself with it. This is the only time in my life ~ besides something that happened over two years ago ~ that I've ever been so sad to have done this. But the rest of that story is complete [censored]. It is true that I called Gavin for a couple hundred (I don't have any money) and I went out of the room to talk to him... which made Mark completely jealous. Whatever. Gavin and I are friends, but he didn't give me [censored] anyway. I wish Mark the best. Actually, I don't. He's two faced and a liar. He talks about all his "good" friends behind their back and under that good guy facade, he is an actual prick
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Besides that, he has only been with four women in his whole life.
Ouch...buuuuurn.'Only been with four women' vs. 'Cut yourself and write on the walls with blood' Hmm. Going out on a limb in suggesting these might not be equivalent.
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I've only been with 5 women in my life. Is this a bad thing I should be worried about? I think I'd take that over FRICKING PSYCHOTIC anyday :)Mark

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I've only been with 5 women in my life. Is this a bad thing I should be worried about? I think I'd take that over FRICKING PSYCHOTIC anyday :)Mark
I hate to burst your bubble, but just because you slapped Royal on the back with your johnson, it doesn't count.You're still at four, bro.
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I've only been with 5 women in my life. Is this a bad thing I should be worried about? I think I'd take that over FRICKING PSYCHOTIC anyday :)Mark
Were any of 'em crazy?I guess it doesn't matter since you got a hot virgin that falls for the old penis on back routine.you lucky Bastage.
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I hate to burst your bubble, but just because you slapped Royal on the back with your johnson, it doesn't count.You're still at four, bro.
That was actually 3 of them, so I guess I'm only at two. Assuming by myself counts right?Mark
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Were any of 'em crazy?I guess it doesn't matter since you got a hot virgin that falls for the old penis on back routine.you lucky Bastage.
One was actually crazy, but I could only take about a month of great sex/crazyness. I think I have too low a tolerance for psychos, looking back on it now... :)Mark
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That was actually 3 of them, so I guess I'm only at two. Assuming by myself counts right?Mark
Did you throw him a Captain Tom?1. Captain Tom the act of placing one's penis upon the back of another, preferably while recipient is sleeping"I was just taking a nap during the dinner break of the 15k event when I awoke to find a creepy old man giving me a Captain Tom. How sick is that???"
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These past couple of months I have learned so much from the people around me. I have heard stories and seen firsthand, big name proffessionals who have lost all their earnings almost immediately after winning them. This is one thing that I am confident now I will not do. Before my twenty-sixth birthday, I will have made my first two million dollars. You might think this ridiculous for me to say, but I know it is going to happen. Were I only to win one major tournament, I would have one to two million dollars. With the World Series of Poker next year along with all the other events and cash games I will be playing, it is definitely feasible. But don't expect anything extravagent. You won't see me buying an expensive sports car, a house, or a closet full of Gucci and Prada. The first two million I earn will go directly into an investment plan which will allow me a spending allowance every month of somewhere between ten to twenty thousand dollars. That way I can live and work comfortably for years and never go broke.
Wow. It's like, so easy.Why didnt i ever think of that?And at the same time, you can tell that she's very realistic and down to earth.She wont buy any designer clothes or a nice car.Only a 20k a month spending allowance for the bare necessities.Like losing money at poker.When the phrase, "rape is no laughing matter, unless you're raping a clown" was thought up - she was definitely in mind.
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she's actually on there debating with people...and then newhizzle fires back again............

You won't see me buying an expensive sports car, a house, or a closet full of Gucci and Prada.
...
Quote: Can I ask you a quick question while you're here Brandi? What happened to all the money? The money that the Captain gave you from your bankroll? The money Doyle gave you? The money PG gave you? How come you only have a handful of dollars left?Captain gave me 3k OF MY BANKROLL back. I used it for traveling expenses for me and my friend. That means flights, etc. Food and entertainment for the week in between Indiana and Foxwoods. My rent and phone bill. Hotel costs during that week. And also did some shopping. I bought a couple tops from Bebe, a Betsey Johnson dress and shoes, some under garments, and a bit of make up.The money that Phil gave me went to rent, phone bill, and food for that month.The money that Doyle gave me, helped me with rent. I also bought a coffeemaker, toaster, some dishes and utensils for my apartment, and a bathrobe. Besides that, I played with the rest... some cash and a couple satellites during Five Diamonds.
...
Quote: Just curious: if Mark had won the bet, what would he have gotten?LOLOLOLOL... I would have dressed up in a French maid's outfit and cleaned his house topless.
...
I don't mind being an exhibitionist. I'm a burner. I'm part of that whole community. If you don't know what it is, check out: www.burningman.comBut I'm not sexy. I can't do sexy. I'm not one of those girls with juggling fake [censored] that can walk up to someone and be like "oh hi, I'm summer. How are YOU doing tonight?" and then grind all over some guys crotch for however much.I've seen the movies. Not for me. I laugh just thinking about it. Who would pay ME money for a lap dance? Seriously.And btw... I keep receipts for everything. If you want proof over a 3 month time span of where that money went, I have it.
...and newhizzle...
um ok, you are full of [censored], everything i posted is 100% true, i have no reason to lie, but ill go ahead and respond to what you are saying: Quote: The boy is in love with Chantel.LOL, all i have to say about that one Quote: I got him on vitamins, took him running with me and motivated him to work out, tried to make sure he took a shower at least once a day and brushed his teeth. The boy is absolutely disgusting and has no personal hygiene.yeah, she took me to work out one day, took me to get a facial, and told me some vitimains and fancy soaps to buy, but i definately take a shower and brush my teeth every day, thats just a stupid comment, and completely irrevelent Quote: It is TRUE that he has been crying a lot.i cried a couple times because i was in a frenzy dealing with her [censored], and also was going through my worst live run ever, ive dealt with all kinds of crazy swings playing poker and i try not to let it get to me, but brandi was definately [censored] with my head, anyway, this is also completely irrelevant Quote: He keeps getting outplayed in the big cash games. He cries because he only has a half million left and he's lost so much money since his winnings, etc. etc.i said in my earlier post that i played like [censored] at commerce, but whatever, games are good and i have a new mindset, i plan to focus on playing good and not let all this drama affect me, and i definately have more than a half million, but after i pay my taxes, and if i dont include all the money thats owed to me, thats probly about where im at Quote: The reason he is publicly attacking me is 1. because he does not want his fans here to know the truth. 2. that he himself thinks he is an amazing poker player and does not want to be seen playing smaller limits 3. because I did not sleep with him.1. what the [censored] does that even mean?2. i really dont give a [censored] about what people think, im not going to play smaller limits right now because there are great spots at big games, and also because im a bit hooked on the action, but if i was seriously hurting, i would move down3. i [censored] her one time, it was actually after all this [censored] happened, we slept together every nigth in la but she wasnt down until we got back to vegas, not sure why you seem to want me to post about this, but there it is Quote: I DID lose money on his account ~ although he told me what to play and how to play. He was right there for most of it telling me what to do. We also NEVER had any sort of arrangement. The whole thing started because he wanted to teach me how to play. It's his own damn fault he's busted. Not mine. And I don't appreciate being blamed for it.100% [censored]!first of all, i never even knew she played 25/50 until i read this thread, at first, i was trying to teach her sitngoes, but she got nervous when i was sweating her, so i didnt watch her much, when she busted my account, i was downstairs playing poker, and she was texting me, telling em that she was winning, i had no idea she could be stuck as much as she was, when i told her she could play 5/10 and 10/20, i assumed that she was winning and would just be playing those games with what she had won, and she started playing 5/10 and 15/30 holdem without my permission, while i was definately not in the room, and she definately did change my password after she busted itwe now shes telling me that because we didnt have an arrangement, she feels like she shouldnt have to pay me, i thought it was pretty clear that i was going to just give her cash for whatever she won, and wasnt really planning on her getting stuck for more than like a grand or two, she said she was going to pay me just to be nice, but now she wont because i posted the truth on 2+2 after she had been spreading lies about what happened and after she had threatened me and told me that need to get on 2+2 and say, "Brandi is a good girl. i can assure you she is not a hustler. and the rumors over my online account are completely irrelevent. no one was there and noone knows the truth about what happened" those are her words that she said she wanted me to post, if people dont believe me, i have text messages as proof Quote: It is true that I cut myself. Mark was saying some pretty mean things to me. I had drank over an entire bottle of red wine by myself. I cracked the bottle and cut myself with it. This is the only time in my life ~ besides something that happened over two years ago ~ that I've ever been so sad to have done this. But the rest of that story is complete [censored].every part of that story is true, im not going to make that [censored] up Quote: It is true that I called Gavin for a couple hundred (I don't have any money) and I went out of the room to talk to him... which made Mark completely jealous. Whatever. Gavin and I are friends, but he didn't give me [censored] anyway.ok, i swear to god she told me straight up that i need to keep quit while she was on the phone with gavin because she wants to get money from him and the only way hed send money is if he thinks he can [censored] her, she also said that gavin is two-faced, and that is why she was trying to hustle him, and that she really did care about me, gavin was different, this is all while we are supposed to be somewhat publicly dating and while a lot of people knew that we were in la togetherbtw, gavin is my friend and i didnt want to post his name in this thread, i also have nothing bad to say about him, and im glad he didnt give her [censored]if i missed anything, let me know, but im definately not about to go back and forth trying to defend myself against this *****
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Those hand historys and pokertracker stats are some funny ****.
no crap...anybody with any nl ability could never make those moves...total blows her case that he was sitting next to her...nobody would willing allow someone to blow that much of their own money...Its like shes never played poker before.
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K, Mark sent me the hands - I'll let y'all decide whether this was Brandi alone or with Mark's advice:1. POKERSTARS GAME #7396599729: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($10/$20) - 2006/12/11 - 11:26:26 (ET)Table 'Aegina II' 6-max Seat #2 is the buttonSeat 1: LittleZen ($2000 in chips)Seat 2: twin-caracas ($2497 in chips)Seat 3: Keesbussum ($3946 in chips)Seat 4: bet2win ($3493.50 in chips)Seat 6: newhizzle ($2174.50 in chips)Keesbussum: posts small blind $10bet2win: posts big blind $20Shifty1768: sits out*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to newhizzle [Qd Kc]newhizzle: calls $20LittleZen: raises $80 to $100twin-caracas: calls $100Keesbussum: foldsbet2win: foldsnewhizzle: raises $260 to $360LittleZen: foldstwin-caracas: calls $260*** FLOP *** [As Qs Jh]newhizzle: bets $720twin-caracas: raises $1417 to $2137 and is all-innewhizzle: calls $1094.50 and is all-in*** TURN *** [As Qs Jh] [4h]*** RIVER *** [As Qs Jh 4h] [7d]*** SHOW DOWN ***newhizzle: shows [Qd Kc] (a pair of Queens)twin-caracas: shows [Ks Ah] (a pair of Aces)twin-caracas collected $4477 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $4479 | Rake $2Board [As Qs Jh 4h 7d]Seat 1: LittleZen folded before FlopSeat 2: twin-caracas (button) showed [Ks Ah] and won ($4477) with a pair of AcesSeat 3: Keesbussum (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: bet2win (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 6: newhizzle showed [Qd Kc] and lost with a pair of Queens2.POKERSTARS GAME #7395129440: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($5/$10) - 2006/12/11 - 06:56:36 (ET)Table 'Nasl V' 6-max Seat #1 is the buttonSeat 1: newhizzle ($1371.60 in chips)Seat 2: dont_bother0 ($1418 in chips)Seat 3: pmilanov ($1127 in chips)Seat 4: p3achy_keen ($2102 in chips)Seat 5: --CGD-- ($995.85 in chips)Seat 6: riverbaby1 ($474 in chips)dont_bother0: posts small blind $5pmilanov: posts big blind $10*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to newhizzle [5s 5d]p3achy_keen: raises $25 to $35--CGD--: foldsriverbaby1: raises $85 to $120newhizzle: calls $120dont_bother0: foldspmilanov: foldsp3achy_keen: calls $85*** FLOP *** [Jc 6d 7h]p3achy_keen: checksriverbaby1: checksnewhizzle: bets $540p3achy_keen: raises $1442 to $1982 and is all-inriverbaby1: foldsnewhizzle: calls $711.60 and is all-in*** TURN *** [Jc 6d 7h] [5c]*** RIVER *** [Jc 6d 7h 5c] [Qh]*** SHOW DOWN ***p3achy_keen: shows [6s 6c] (three of a kind, Sixes)newhizzle: mucks handp3achy_keen collected $2875.20 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $2878.20 | Rake $3Board [Jc 6d 7h 5c Qh]Seat 1: newhizzle (button) mucked [5s 5d]Seat 2: dont_bother0 (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 3: pmilanov (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: p3achy_keen showed [6s 6c] and won ($2875.20) with three of a kind, SixesSeat 5: --CGD-- folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 6: riverbaby1 folded on the Flop3.POKERSTARS GAME #7394682614: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($5/$10) - 2006/12/11 - 04:56:52 (ET)Table 'Nasl V' 6-max Seat #3 is the buttonSeat 1: newhizzle ($1357.30 in chips)Seat 2: riverbaby1 ($1361.50 in chips)Seat 3: pmilanov ($1000 in chips)Seat 4: p3achy_keen ($1005 in chips)Seat 5: stdjog12 ($2231 in chips)Seat 6: outdrewsyou ($1208.05 in chips)p3achy_keen: posts small blind $5stdjog12: posts big blind $10*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to newhizzle [8s As]outdrewsyou: raises $30 to $40newhizzle: calls $40riverbaby1: foldspmilanov: foldsp3achy_keen: foldsstdjog12: folds*** FLOP *** [7s 6s 7c]outdrewsyou: bets $50newhizzle: raises $50 to $100outdrewsyou: calls $50*** TURN *** [7s 6s 7c] [Jd]outdrewsyou: checksnewhizzle: bets $40outdrewsyou: raises $140 to $180newhizzle: calls $140*** RIVER *** [7s 6s 7c Jd] [5s]outdrewsyou: bets $888.05 and is all-innewhizzle: calls $888.05*** SHOW DOWN ***outdrewsyou: shows [Js Jh] (a full house, Jacks full of Sevens)newhizzle: mucks handoutdrewsyou collected $2428.10 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $2431.10 | Rake $3Board [7s 6s 7c Jd 5s]Seat 1: newhizzle mucked [8s As]Seat 2: riverbaby1 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 3: pmilanov (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 4: p3achy_keen (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 5: stdjog12 (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 6: outdrewsyou showed [Js Jh] and won ($2428.10) with a full house, Jacks full of Sevens4.POKERSTARS GAME #7396431099: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($10/$20) - 2006/12/11 - 11:02:58 (ET)Table 'Aegina II' 6-max Seat #1 is the buttonSeat 1: BjelleTang ($1940 in chips)Seat 2: IGOT3KIND ($2581.50 in chips)Seat 3: Keesbussum ($1100 in chips)Seat 4: bet2win ($3932.50 in chips)Seat 5: Shifty1768 ($7546.50 in chips)Seat 6: newhizzle ($2449.50 in chips)IGOT3KIND: posts small blind $10Keesbussum: posts big blind $20*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to newhizzle [Ks Qs]bet2win: foldsShifty1768: foldsnewhizzle: raises $40 to $60BjelleTang: calls $60IGOT3KIND: calls $50Keesbussum: raises $120 to $180newhizzle: calls $120BjelleTang: calls $120IGOT3KIND: calls $120*** FLOP *** [8c 4s 3h]IGOT3KIND: checksKeesbussum: bets $320newhizzle: calls $320BjelleTang: calls $320IGOT3KIND: calls $320*** TURN *** [8c 4s 3h] [Qc]IGOT3KIND: checksKeesbussum: bets $600 and is all-innewhizzle: calls $600BjelleTang: calls $600IGOT3KIND: calls $600*** RIVER *** [8c 4s 3h Qc] [9d]IGOT3KIND: checksnewhizzle: checksBjelleTang: checks*** SHOW DOWN ***IGOT3KIND: shows [6c 5c] (high card Queen)Keesbussum: shows [8s 8h] (three of a kind, Eights)newhizzle: mucks handBjelleTang: mucks handKeesbussum collected $4397 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $4400 | Rake $3Board [8c 4s 3h Qc 9d]Seat 1: BjelleTang (button) mucked [6h 5h]Seat 2: IGOT3KIND (small blind) showed [6c 5c] and lost with high card QueenSeat 3: Keesbussum (big blind) showed [8s 8h] and won ($4397) with three of a kind, EightsSeat 4: bet2win folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 5: Shifty1768 folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 6: newhizzle mucked [Ks Qs]5.POKERSTARS GAME #7394558926: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($5/$10) - 2006/12/11 - 04:26:35 (ET)Table 'Nasl V' 6-max Seat #2 is the buttonSeat 1: newhizzle ($1264 in chips)Seat 2: PokerAcer ($517 in chips)Seat 3: iluvtodraw ($1032.75 in chips)Seat 4: p3achy_keen ($1284 in chips)Seat 6: samd20 ($1093.25 in chips)iluvtodraw: posts small blind $5p3achy_keen: posts big blind $10stdjog12: sits out*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to newhizzle [Js 9s]samd20: raises $30 to $40newhizzle: calls $40PokerAcer: foldsiluvtodraw: foldsp3achy_keen: folds*** FLOP *** [Td 3h Jh]samd20: bets $70newhizzle: raises $70 to $140samd20: raises $200 to $340newhizzle: calls $200*** TURN *** [Td 3h Jh] [2c]samd20: bets $713.25 and is all-innewhizzle: calls $713.25*** RIVER *** [Td 3h Jh 2c] [7d]*** SHOW DOWN ***samd20: shows [Kc Ks] (a pair of Kings)newhizzle: mucks handsamd20 collected $2199.50 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $2201.50 | Rake $2Board [Td 3h Jh 2c 7d]Seat 1: newhizzle mucked [Js 9s]Seat 2: PokerAcer (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 3: iluvtodraw (small blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: p3achy_keen (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 6: samd20 showed [Kc Ks] and won ($2199.50) with a pair of Kings
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