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Saturday Night Under The Bridge


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"Leggit bruv, I hear Filth cars"They were the words I shouted to my brother on Thursday morning. We had just broken into a Lairds house here in Scotland. The breaking in was easy, brother Ron just jemmied the door and we walked in. The old Laird who must have been 80 was sitting at his table drinking Whisky like water and reading the paper."What do you want? Don`t hurt me" he cried when he saw us."Sit there and stay there old man" my brother snarled, "Wheres your tomfoolery and watches and dough?""In my bedroom, please don`t hurt me"We ran upstairs to find the bedroom, it was a big room all decked out in flock wallpaper, a big telly sat in the corner and about 200 empty Whisky bottles littered the floor."Haha he`s an old alkie bruv" I said to Ron.We were just putting his watches in the pockets of my overcoat when I heard sirens in the distance, I knew where they were heading. Here.After exiting the house we ran and hid in the bushes near his croquet lawn.Sure enough, 3 plod cars came screaming up the drive."He`ll get his bruv" I whispered to Ron as we sneaked out and climbed the wall away from old Bill.So tonight? We`ve been doing a bit of business today ringing up a few faces we know up here, they`ve all loved to hear from us infamous brothers. They all heard about us via the underground in which we all live and love, they knew we were the biggest faces in all of Britain.I got talking to Derek the Dip, the best pickpocket in Scotland today, he was telling us a few blokes were giving a pub landlord grief on the Edinburgh mile. These 2 geezers are in the same line as us, they offer protection for premium prices but apparently they operate in too heavy handed a manner.Derek told us they charged this landlord £500 a week, when he defaulted his payment last week they cut his ears off.I told Derek we`d help, and take over from them, we`d charge the landlord £400 a week and the first default he gets a beating, but a beating with no visible bruises. The second time, well lets say his pub sees some flames.These pair of geezers are apparently going to be in a nightclub in Glasgow at 3am, they have a business arrangement with the owners.We`ll be there later, these pair better watch out...

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I think you and Clay Aiken should figure out a way to have babies! They would be "super posters" and entertain us forever!
hahayeahclay where are you?
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This act was mildly funny and entertaining the first couple of timesnow it's just getting bloddy old!BA/MM (become an Author/Make millions)

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This act was mildly funny and entertaining the first couple of timesnow it's just getting bloddy old!BA/MM (become an Author/Make millions)
You nonce, we`d make mincemeat out of you pal.Me and my brother don`t take kindly to people slagging us off.We heard a nark in Manchesters going round telling everyone the Krays are poofs, well he`ll find out when we go look for him next week...
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You nonce, we`d make mincemeat out of you pal.Me and my brother don`t take kindly to people slagging us off.We heard a nark in Manchesters going round telling everyone the Krays are poofs, well he`ll find out when we go look for him next week...
Keep them coming.Boorish Americans don't get you.
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hahayeahclay where are you?
Ha!! I'm still around, though to be truthful there is something in the works that may take me far away in person, but closer to your hearts in spirit!! For now I speak in riddles and rhymes, but like a hydra, I turn my face to the sun, and bask in the glow of the radiance of the love eminating from all those who call me "friend", and like a friend of fortune, I too will sing a song of glee, to have and to hold, the love of a child!!For now I can be found in my den where more of my mission will be revealed in the coming days and weeks!! I will be seeking the love and support of you all as I face the biggest challenge of my life, and should I succeed, be remembered as all I ever was, a humble mirror reflecting the wondrous light of the Creator on the Universe!! Wonderful!!
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Ha!! I'm still around, though to be truthful there is something in the works that may take me far away in person, but closer to your hearts in spirit!! For now I speak in riddles and rhymes, but like a hydra, I turn my face to the sun, and bask in the glow of the radiance of the love eminating from all those who call me "friend", and like a friend of fortune, I too will sing a song of glee, to have and to hold, the love of a child!!For now I can be found in my den where more of my mission will be revealed in the coming days and weeks!! I will be seeking the love and support of you all as I face the biggest challenge of my life, and should I succeed, be remembered as all I ever was, a humble mirror reflecting the wondrous light of the Creator on the Universe!! Wonderful!!
Dude! I saw your new cd in the stores today and if I didn't have to buy those new socks I really love, I would have gotten the cd instead. B000HA4AAO.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_V60536844_.jpgClay's all growed up!
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I think you and Clay Aiken should figure out a way to have babies! They would be "super posters" and entertain us forever!
its time for your display picture to go, possibly the gayest thing on earth.
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