Jump to content

An Unbelievable Final Table Experience


Recommended Posts

Hi guys, Lonny Huff here. :club: Last night I had the most incredible adventure with my roomies Carlton and Geoff. I got home from McDonald's (I'm the assistant manager there (sorry, didn't mean for this to be a brag post)), and was unlacing my LA Gear when Geoff storms out of the bathroom with two fanny packs over his shoulder and one on his waist. Carlton was dozing on the fouton, and the ruckus startled him... before I had 3 of the four shoelaces undone, Geoff tossed Carlton and I a fanny pack and screamed, "Let's go guys, there's no time!". Now, as you may know from my accidental post of a personal email, Geoff is a gluesniffer. Naturally, I was a bit skeptical. But, like a good friend I trusted him and without even peeking into the fanny pack I took his hand in my left and Carlton's in my right and we jogged to the Honda Element. "Here, you drive" Geoff said as he slammed the keys into my palm. "I've sniffed a whole shitload of glue." So we piled into the front seat and cautiously backed up. "Geoff, where exactly are we headed too... what's in these fanny packs?" I asked. "Lonny, there is a hot tournament in twelve minutes downtown at Flyingdonkey's parent's basement... 10 dollar buyin, with at least 21 people expected to play. (Sniffs some glue) Now in these fanny packs I have some supplies, because this could be a grueling experience. In your packs you should find one Pepsi Blue, two blueberry Pop Tarts, a Paint Marker, and exactly 10 dollars cash for the buyin." As usual, despite his addiction, Geoff really pulled through and off we were to Flying Donkey's parents' basement. Now, we arrived at about 10:39, and were surprised to find 40 people registered. We bought in and caught up with some old friends: Louis from the Boston Market was there... Craig from Kinkos, and Louis J. was there too on a stake from Louis C. from Boston Market. Well, it was great catching up with the gang, and before we knew it it was 11 and the tournament was beginning! There were 4 tables of ten, and unlucky for me I had a tough draw. First of all, I didn't know anybody at my table EXCEPT for Johnny Awesome, well known here in Buffalo as the greatest poker player in town. Johnny was decked out head to toe in Phil Hellmuth signature clothing. The temperature dropped at least 10 degrees when he sat two to my left. "Great" I thought. "Now I don't stand a chance." I started freaking out a little bit as we dealt high card, my heart sank when Johnny Awesome drew the button. This was a bad omen... or was it? Anyways, action folded around to Johnny, and he bumped it up 4 times the blind. The small blind, a gentle irishman in a wheelchair, called the bet and I peeked at my hole cards... two red Aces. I decided to flat call knowing that Johnny would bet the pot regardless of the flop. It was the flop of my dreams... A49 rainbow. The Irish gimp led out about 1/3 of the pot and I pretended to think before I raised. As soon as my chips hit the felt, Johnny Awesome raised all in, and McCan'tWalk instacalled. I of course called and knocked out Drunky McI'minawheelchair and Johnny Awesome's respective 444 and 999. Things were looking up for me, I cracked open my Pepsi Blue and never looked back. Fast forward 2 hours. As usual, I was the massive chipleader with 11 left, with 5x more chips than my nearest competitor. I was winning alot of uncontested pots and continued to build my superstack. A retarded man named Dinky finally came over the top of my raise, and since I was committed, I called with KK. He showed QQ, and failed to improve... and BOOM I made the final table! Now here is the unbelievable part you have all been waiting for. With only forty entrants, we had decided that the top 5 would pay. Now, you have to understand that I now had 7x more than the second chipleader. Before we even dealt out high card, I said, "Wait one god damn second. We have all played our hearts out, and no matter what happens, You all did great (eating pop tart). How about a ten way chop, even steven?" My pulse was racing as the table fell silent and stared at me. Did I come across as scared... what if they say No? These things were racing through my head, and I tried hard to keep my composure. Then Louis, with little over 1 blind, broke the silence. "Alright." Like dominoes, the rest of the suckers agreed. So we all walked off with our fair share of the 400 dollar prize pool, 40 dollars a piece. Before the idiots could change their minds, I grabbed Carlton and Geoff by their hands and we left, bursting into laughter as soon as the doors of the Element were shut. When will these donkeys learn? :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

Heck, I was so caught up reliving this that I made a huge mistake. Johnny Awesome was two to my right, not left! :club: I hope you all can find room in your hearts to forgive me. I know I'll never forgive myself. :D J/K ! :D We all make mistakes, that's why I was born in the first place. :D - Lonny Huff

Link to post
Share on other sites
For those of you that are interested, you can see Lonny next Friday and Saturday at the Buffalo Chuckle Hut (two drink minimum). He is opening for Carrot Top.Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Now thats the funniest thing said in this thread. :club:
Link to post
Share on other sites

This was the first thread I read this morning. The rest of my day reading threads is now ruined as I peaked to early.Oh well. It was worth it.Am I the only one envisioning neon and black speckle painted parachute pants on these guys?Fantastic.I think I am in love with Geoff. Does that make me gay?

Link to post
Share on other sites

is this story true or not? what i don't believe is the fact that 3 players flop sets at the same time. also why would you chop a final table when you are chip leader and top 5 get paid?you and your friends bought in 10 each. =$30you left with $40, so profit $10 which buys you a few more can of coke.

Link to post
Share on other sites
is this story true or not? what i don't believe is the fact that 3 players flop sets at the same time. also why would you chop a final table when you are chip leader and top 5 get paid?you and your friends bought in 10 each. =$30you left with $40, so profit $10 which buys you a few more can of coke.
WTF!
Link to post
Share on other sites
is this story true or not? what i don't believe is the fact that 3 players flop sets at the same time. also why would you chop a final table when you are chip leader and top 5 get paid?you and your friends bought in 10 each. =$30you left with $40, so profit $10 which buys you a few more can of coke.
:club: BEST :D RESPONSE :D EVER
Link to post
Share on other sites

have you ever thought about being a writer? :club:

is this story true or not? what i don't believe is the fact that 3 players flop sets at the same time. also why would you chop a final table when you are chip leader and top 5 get paid?you and your friends bought in 10 each. =$30you left with $40, so profit $10 which buys you a few more can of coke.
LOL
Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi guys, Lonny Huff here. :club: Last night I had the most incredible adventure with my roomies Carlton and Geoff. I got home from McDonald's (I'm the assistant manager there (sorry, didn't mean for this to be a brag post)),
HAHAHA I didnt read past here because I couldnt stop laughing.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...