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Shimmering Wang Is Ugly..... ?


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I'm a pretty unattractive guy. I have hung out with this girl a few times. She's pretty cool. She's pretty cute. She called me once yesterday, and we talked online this afternoon at like 5ish. The following is an AIM conversation. I've left out a few pieces that don't translate well, but I am pretty sure this is COMPLETELY in context. I bolded my own statements in order to make the conversation flow more smoothly.Obviously, names have been changed to protect the innocent. (PS- This is mostly a way to preserve a record of this before I checken out and delete it as a chivalrous gesture)Wang: Plus, I gamble for a living. I think I qualify as an uber-drunkSkank: wellSkank: u dont hang out with meSkank: and drinkSkank: so i dont witness anythingSkank: i dont know what it is.. maybe your scaredSkank: maybe u dont think im funSkank: but im fun so u shoudl come drink were drinkingSkank: serouslyAuto response from Wang: Sometimes, Derek witnesses crimes, but is powerless to help. Man, I'm a terrible crimefighterSkank: sreiouslySkank: jus t tell meSkank: jus t tell meWang: Huh?Skank: haha sorryWang: I'll tell you: you have a spelling problemSkank: im kinda drunkSkank: haSkank: dudeSkank: what are u doingSkank: why dont u wanna hang out wiht me everWang: Ever = the last 36 hours?Skank: umSkank: everSkank: reallySkank: 'not just 36 hoursSkank: well u ask for somneones phone number then u never call herSkank: not lik emad just curiousWang: Sorry.... I didn't mean to upset you or anything. Skank: u didnt upset meSkank: just confuseWang: It's not like I've been going out, getting bombed the last few nightsSkank: not like i saidu haveSkank: no reasonWang: I've seriously been wandering around, playing cards, and playing cards here....Skank: i just banged heads so bad with lauren so hardSkank: well if playing cards is that important to uSkank: then that is coolWang: Okay, how about this:Wang: I have absolutely not been avoiding you. Skank: well i dont want u tos ay nething u dont meanSkank: u can do what u wantSkank: i mean u can hang out if uw ntSkank: and if u dotn want to hang out wiht me just tell meSkank: its not a big dealSkank: thats what it meansWang: Look, I'm not THAT big a piece of ****Skank: good to knowWang: I'm a piece of ****.... just not a HUGE piece of **** (POS)Skank: well thats not cool derrekSkank: if u wantto hang ut wiht meSkank: hang out with m eSkank: dont ell me your a pecie of ****Skank: hang out with m eSkank: that doesnt make me feel better bout youWang: Fine: What do you want to know about me? Skank: well just why dont u want to hang out with meSkank: jus tto hang outSkank: reallySkank: u can tell meSkank: i just want u to be honestWang: Skank: I don't understand what you're asking. I have been in my house for all but 3 hours the last few days. Skank: okaySkank: fineSkank: thats fineWang: I'm. a little confused. I enjoy your companySkank: okaySkank: then come overSkank: spend the nightSkank: that doestn mean we have to have sexSkank: just come overSkank: and enjoy my companyWang: I can't, Skank. I would. I want to. But I can't. Skank: ySkank: the real reasonSkank: seriouslySkank: erkeWang: Real reason(s): (to follow)\Wang: 1) I'm in the middle of a pretty good game. The guy in seat 3 is giving his money away, and nobody is playing well enough to take advantage, apart from meSkank: oaky so ur saying poker is more important to you than girlsSkank: thats goodSkank: thats all i wanted to knowSkank: good nightWang: Haha, okay. You're a card, doll. Goodnight, then. Skank: noSkank: not my cardSkank: ur cardSkank: always your cardSkank: always your deckSkank: always yoru nightSkank: always hang out when you feel like itWang: You're a poetSkank: thats f ineSkank: notSkank: dudeSkank: dont evne dtry to pull that on meSkank: u can hang out with mewhen u wantSkank: and u know itWang: You're so NOT a poet, thenSkank: but u just try to pull your whole poet thingSkank: whaterverSkank: u cant just do what u wantWang: I.... wait, what?Skank: nothingSkank: u oviously dont want to come overSkank: thats the wole poetSkank: thats fineSkank: but whateveru wanna doSkank: im not trying ot force you to hang out with meWang: What kind of music do you like?Skank: anySkank: are you coming over or notSkank: just tell meWang: No, but you cut me off after reason #1, so I don't think I'll get a fair shake, hereSkank: wellSkank: if thers more then one reason to hang out wiht me tonightSkank: then i guess i dont need to hear number 2Wang: That.... that doesn't make any senseSkank: yes it doesSkank: u dont want to hang out wiht meSkank: so if i say number 2Skank: that doesnt helpSkank: sooWang: Okay, Skank. You should go to bed or something. I promise I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Skank: nopeWang: And I will SOOOO be quoting this conversationSkank: not okaySkank: nopeSkank: im quoting youSkank: on being so boringSkank: and on coming overWang: .....(flabbergasted shock)Skank: right]Skank: cus that means what>Skank: u can be how u want toSkank: if u wnna come overSkank: u canSkank: if not u dont have toSkank: whateaer u dwant to do erekSkank: u tell meSkank: i mean im not forcin you anthingWang: Alright, I canNOT wait until I get to send you selected fragments of this conversation tomorrow.... Until then, Skank, I'm going to take my too-drunk-to-drive *** to bed

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Wang: 1) I'm in the middle of a pretty good game. The guy in seat 3 is giving his money away, and nobody is playing well enough to take advantage, apart from meThat was probably my favorite line. If u ever run out of material online refer back to the BloodNinja thread

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so lemme get this straight....instead of going over to some drunk/cute girl's house to bang the bottom outta her...you decided to play poker? Priorities my man, priorities...but the bigger question I think we're all really asking...What's the table/site??

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Wang: 1) I'm in the middle of a pretty good game. The guy in seat 3 is giving his money away, and nobody is playing well enough to take advantage, apart from me
I see you can find the right line in more than just limit hold'em.Whenever drunk people IM me and clearly shouldn't be near a computer, I respond in all caps and huge font:DO YOU HAVE ANY LEGOS?Try it sometime.
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so lemme get this straight....instead of going over to some drunk/cute girl's house to bang the bottom outta her...you decided to play poker? Priorities my man, priorities...but the bigger question I think we're all really asking...What's the table/site??
If you really needed the money and didn't need the tail, Ok, but Wang my man....She wanted it...would've been the easiest slay since Germany invaded France.
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i don't get it. you turned down a cute chick for a good game? it wasn't even funny or anything. i share dutch's hatred for women as dumb as that, but that wouldn't prevent me from inserting my penis.i dunno, i think we need Iceman to interpret this one.

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i don't get it. you turned down a cute chick for a good game? it wasn't even funny or anything. i share dutch's hatred for women as dumb as that, but that wouldn't prevent me from inserting my penis.i dunno, i think we need Iceman to interpret this one.
Agreed. There will always be plenty of donkeys and plenty of poker games, but there's almost no reason to turn down free *** from a cute chick. So what if she's dumb.....doesn't sound like you plan on marrying her. I'm disappointed, Wangster.....
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Agreed. There will always be plenty of donkeys and plenty of poker games, but there's almost no reason to turn down free *** from a cute chick. So what if she's dumb.....doesn't sound like you plan on marrying her. I'm disappointed, Wangster.....
that is one issue, but i simply didn't think the reasoning or discussion was near Wang's usual level of awesomeness or hiliarity
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I didn't end up reading the whole thing....but from what I gathered from the responses, Wang didn't end up visiting her because she was drunk and of below-average intelligence, and he was playing in an online poker game that he didn't want to leave. If it were me, and she was moderately good looking, there wouldn't even be a second thought. You can always find a poker game. Might as well get laid while it's available, though.

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so lemme get this straight....instead of going over to some drunk/cute girl's house to bang the bottom outta her...you decided to play poker? Priorities my man, priorities...but the bigger question I think we're all really asking...What's the table/site??
i don't get it. you turned down a cute chick for a good game? it wasn't even funny or anything. i share dutch's hatred for women as dumb as that, but that wouldn't prevent me from inserting my penis.i dunno, i think we need Iceman to interpret this one.
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All criticism was given in all fairness.I was tripping my ASS off during this conversation, so it was pretty fucking hilarious at the time. I had NO idea what was going on, but I shared with you. Which should make you feel happy. I'm willing to be vulnerable with you, which makes me think this relationship could go somewhere.I have a few points, though:1) To everyone that said: "Dude, you can always find a good poker game... pelt is much more rare." This is true, to a degree, but that guy in seat 3 was SERIOUSLY donking off chips like nobody's business. His PT numbers were something like 90/85/5.5 . Oh, and EVERYBODY ELSE was folding every hand. He would win a few pots, I'd smoke him for an 11 bet pot with 3rd pair, and we would just repeat. I don't give a fuck if ayou're pregnant; I'm NOT leaving that game until his checks are gone, or I die. I can always get skanks. A game like this is a once-a-year thing.2) After rereading the conversation, I did find a few lines I still think are funny. Including:Wang: You're so NOT a poet, thenWang: I'll tell you: you have a spelling problemSkank: thats fineSkank: but whateveru wanna doSkank: im not trying ot force you to hang out with meWang: What kind of music do you like?and my honest closer....Wang: .....(flabbergasted shock)3) Like I said, I completely understand the confusion and criticism. This wasn't exactly funny, and was mostly stupid. At the same time, I'd like to extend my thanks to the people that still found some measure of humor in my absurd existence, especially MK, who picked out what I thought was my funniest line. You're my boys.WangPS- She didn't remember our conversation in the morning, so I emailed her the entire thing. She said, "You're an asshole" but called me the next night for a booty-call

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PS- She didn't remember our conversation in the morning, so I emailed her the entire thing. She said, "You're an asshole" but called me the next night for a booty-call
^^^^^^^ Why you're the king.
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All criticism was given in all fairness.I was tripping my ASS off during this conversation, so it was pretty fucking hilarious at the time. I had NO idea what was going on, but I shared with you. Which should make you feel happy. I'm willing to be vulnerable with you, which makes me think this relationship could go somewhere.I have a few points, though:1) To everyone that said: "Dude, you can always find a good poker game... pelt is much more rare." This is true, to a degree, but that guy in seat 3 was SERIOUSLY donking off chips like nobody's business. His PT numbers were something like 90/85/5.5 . Oh, and EVERYBODY ELSE was folding every hand. He would win a few pots, I'd smoke him for an 11 bet pot with 3rd pair, and we would just repeat. I don't give a fuck if ayou're pregnant; I'm NOT leaving that game until his checks are gone, or I die. I can always get skanks. A game like this is a once-a-year thing.2) After rereading the conversation, I did find a few lines I still think are funny. Including:Wang: You're so NOT a poet, thenWang: I'll tell you: you have a spelling problemSkank: thats fineSkank: but whateveru wanna doSkank: im not trying ot force you to hang out with meWang: What kind of music do you like?and my honest closer....Wang: .....(flabbergasted shock)3) Like I said, I completely understand the confusion and criticism. This wasn't exactly funny, and was mostly stupid. At the same time, I'd like to extend my thanks to the people that still found some measure of humor in my absurd existence, especially MK, who picked out what I thought was my funniest line. You're my boys.WangPS- She didn't remember our conversation in the morning, so I emailed her the entire thing. She said, "You're an asshole" but called me the next night for a booty-call
thanks for the update.as i may have been the main proponent for the "there's always a game, you should've got laid [i am personally a desparate virgin] party" i should clarify. it wasn't that i thought you should've left the game to get laid, i just thought the whole situation was relatively unhilarious and unawesome given my high expectations of how awesome and/or hilarious you turning down some vag would likely be.the actual act of turning down vag for poker i have no particular comment on.
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thanks for the update.as i may have been the main proponent for the "there's always a game, you should've got laid [i am personally a desparate virgin] party" i should clarify. it wasn't that i thought you should've left the game to get laid, i just thought the whole situation was relatively unhilarious and unawesome given my high expectations of how awesome and/or hilarious you turning down some vag would likely be.the actual act of turning down vag for poker i have no particular comment on.
We're pretty much in the same camp dannyg. Except, as a desperate virgin, I'd still take easy money over drunk vag.
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