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Shimmering Wang: He Said He Wants To Name His First Kid "todd"


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Seriously. He told me he's decided on "Todd" or "McKenzie."Anybody else have anything mean to say about Derek? It doesn't even have to be true. Example:Once, Derek called me all excited and declared, "A while back I fucked a steer; I tell ya it weren't half bad!"I happen to know he's at the bar (it's 6PM on a Friday), so he won't see this until later tonight, when he comes home splotchy drunk. With a skuuuuzz.Ice

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what are you, his fcking PR guy?gheyer than gayIf I lined up the Miami Heat after a grueling practice, got a hold of them right before they showered, and tried to gag myself with each and every one of their c0cks. let them all come on me, take pics, post them on Gayguysthatlovethec0ck.com, I wouldn't be as gay as this post

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Is this a roast? FCP should have those..lol I can think of a couple candidates already.

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what are you, his fcking PR guy?gheyer than gayIf I lined up the Miami Heat after a grueling practice, got a hold of them right before they showered, and tried to gag myself with each and every one of their c0cks. let them all come on me, take pics, post them on Gayguysthatlovethec0ck.com, I wouldn't be as gay as this post
I don't think you read the bolded part in the OP. We could chalk this up to a number of things, but based on your decision not to swear ("cock, balls"), I'm going to just assume it's "combination learning disorder and legal blindness."But don't worry. Derek's got a mild learning disorder, and he even lives by himself, now! Back on topic, please?Ice
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But don't worry. Derek's got a mild learning disorder, and he even lives by himself, now!
Just you wait until Wang gets home.... He's going to let the expletives fly!
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Just you wait until Wang gets home.... He's going to let the expletives fly!
Not to mention the racial slurs....Did I mention that he's a violent racist? Just terrible. You should hear him talk about anyone darker-skinned than Powder, not to mention anyone foreign. Seriously, it's gotten pretty bad. He's inventing new racial slurs just to keep up with the sickening amount of venom in his heart. A while back I heard him call a Jewish deli owner an "alfalfa-hoarding sturgeon-lover." I mean, that doesn't even make sense. Then he called Jacques Chirac "Pierre Turgeon's Gay Lover."Intervention time?Ice
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Not to mention the racial slurs....Did I mention that he's a violent racist? Just terrible. You should hear him talk about anyone darker-skinned than Powder, not to mention anyone foreign. Seriously, it's gotten pretty bad. He's inventing new racial slurs just to keep up with the sickening amount of venom in his heart. A while back I heard him call a Jewish deli owner an "alfalfa-hoarding sturgeon-lover." I mean, that doesn't even make sense. Then he called Jacques Chirac "Pierre Turgeon's Gay Lover."Intervention time?Ice
:club: I heard him call his accountant "dradle bitch." Which was weird, because his accountant is Filipino.
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Not to mention the racial slurs....Did I mention that he's a violent racist? Just terrible. You should hear him talk about anyone darker-skinned than Powder, not to mention anyone foreign. Seriously, it's gotten pretty bad. He's inventing new racial slurs just to keep up with the sickening amount of venom in his heart. A while back I heard him call a Jewish deli owner an "alfalfa-hoarding sturgeon-lover." I mean, that doesn't even make sense. Then he called Jacques Chirac "Pierre Turgeon's Gay Lover."Intervention time?Ice
that's hysterical....
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Seriously. He told me he's decided on "Todd" or "McKenzie."Anybody else have anything mean to say about Derek? It doesn't even have to be true. Example:Once, Derek called me all excited and declared, "A while back I fucked a steer; I tell ya it weren't half bad!"I happen to know he's at the bar (it's 6PM on a Friday), so he won't see this until later tonight, when he comes home splotchy drunk. With a skuuuuzz.Ice
Again Ice? It really would be a nice jesture if you'd learn my name.
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My friends, ladies and gentlemen....Nothing better than coming home from the bar on a hot day after a few afternoon sangrias to discover an old friend dedicated his entire morning to baseless slander.Well, everything's baseless slander except the thing about fucking a steer. I mean, I didn't fuck a steer, but I actually made that phone call.And, uh, I'm only slightly racist. I hate Eskimos. I hate them so much. Fucking MukMuk Seal-Clubbers...Instead of defending myself, I'd just like to point out the last time I talked to this guy, he mentioned that he was dating a cocktail waitress. Then I talked to a mutual friend who is a litle more in the know, and found out by "cocktail waitress" he meant "stripper" and by "dating" he meant "slept with twice, once at night and once the next morning." There's a rumor he only knew her stage name. I get drunk and make poor decisions, but you nailed a stripper.... at least once while SOBER, and then tried to characterize that brief encounter as a relationship. Who's the SkuzzMagnet now? I bet you're oozing Skuzz. I shudder to think...Wang

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So, have Shimmering Wang and Iceman lost their minds yet (mind?) or what's the deal?
I never claimed to be anywhere NEAR sane/normal/anything-but-absurd.And Dignan's just a bored poker playing asshole. Wang
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I forget to add McKenzie to my list. I hate everyone named McKenzie.
i got another one for you. a new cousin of mine named Mckynly.Oh, and I have a friend named Todd McKenzie. well, MacKenzie, but close enough.
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What about the name Shi-thead? Yep. There is actually a kid with that name. Put the letters together and see what it says. A friend of mine s wife works in a doctors office and this was the name of the kid. No lying.

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Fucking MukMuk Seal-Clubbers...
not bad.. i give it a 7.4
What about the name Shi-thead? Yep. There is actually a kid with that name. Put the letters together and see what it says. A friend of mine s wife works in a doctors office and this was the name of the kid. No lying.
as in, his name is as you posted? or it's minus the hyphen?
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"Todd, or Bert? Todd or Bert? Todd or Bert? My parents couldn't decide so I'm now Todderbert.""This is lovely. I could dance with you till the cows come home. Oh Christ, I've come."Don't know why this made me think of that movie.

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