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I Called In Sick Today

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I recently got wrecked by someone doing that. Just jumped in front of me and had the servant make like five burritos. Very annoying.


Was this on purpose? I'm thinking of a burrito footman.

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Can we talk about how good looking John Stamos still is?


So i saw that Full House is coming back and i saw some photos of Johnny and this guy, honestly, is better looking now than in the early 90s. He should be studied and cloned so all ladies can enjoy his power (Which i imagine to be something amazing to behold).


Ill be tuning in, if only to gaze longingly into his eyes.

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Fvck you being able to make rice and shit rubbing it in my face.


Two words buddy: Rice. Cooker. Best kitchen appliance I ever got.

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I use my rice cooker constantly.


Napa; buy your rice at the Double Dragon Asian Food Market on 2nd. They have great prices on big bags of whatever you want. I generally by Jasmine Rice from Thailand.

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I've found that rice isn't that hard to cook, although I did screw up my last meal with rice.


Boil proper amount of water, put in some oil, dump in rice, stir for a second, reduce to simmer, cover, come back 20-25 minutes later. RICE. I used to screw it up by tinkering with it and stirring it.

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Ive tried making rice a million different ways and I always mess it up somehow. It's just not meant to be.


Nah, I get it. I screwed it up 50 times in a row until I figured out to just leave it alone


I hear good things about a rice cooker but I've made more rice for my last two dogs than I have for myself during the same time period.

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