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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I really like the winter and snow. I would be terribly sad if it was summer all year long. I would rather move north to Canada or Alaska than south to Florida or some other southern state with 100% humidity and 90 degree temps in February.

 

Might come as a surprise but there is an area of the country with great weather year around, no humidity and rarely hits 90 degrees. It's called Southern CA. Perhaps you've heard of it?

 

Although, I've been in Northern CA this week, in the area we are from, and I like the weather better here. It gets hotter in the summer but it cools off into the 50's and 60's in the winter so it feels more like a change in seasons than So Cal.

 

A) I knew it was a joke

 

B) even if you were serious you'd be wrong because wearing sweaters is when I look my best and everyone agrees.

 

C) even if it was true, I'm becoming more and more less pear-shaped, so, it would cease being true soon enough anyways.

 

Going by your reflection in the snack machine the other day, assuming that was you, you are looking good.

 

It has to be a multi-tractor pileup or something...

 

Run away covered wagons?

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12oz can of diet soda monday morning

12oz can of diet soda tuesday morning

None on Wednesday

 

 

Lets just say my intake is greatly reduced.

 

I feel like Bubbles from The Wire

 

But I will carry on. Not perma-quitting, but wont keep it at home anymore, wont make trips for a double big gulp anymore. After I kick my huge quantity, I'll dial it back to having it when at restaurants, some for watching a big game on the weekend and thats about it. Fingers crossed

 

Food intake is my real issue

 

Also not drinking booze for a while. Thats way easier for me, believe it or not

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Ron's always been good at giving the ole thick judgement.

 

Yes.

 

the girl is trying to lose weight. she's doing some on the diet side, some at the gym. I haven't said much about it, she knows I was fat.

 

christ on a cracker of course you're not saying anything.

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If this ever comes up again...

 

You really like her. Maybe you know she's trying to lose weight? Don't know, don't really think about it. [that's it, that's the only response I can think of.]

 

 

 

In real life, I get more female approbation (including my own) when I'm thin. Males like it when I'm a little thicker.

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christ on a cracker of course you're not saying anything.

 

L. O. L.

 

I stopped with the soda cold turkey which lasted about 2 months. Then I'd have one here and there which I still do but it's one every other day or so rather than a couple , or more, a day so Fck it.

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(Booty)

 

Yep. It always about the booty.

 

And rightly so.

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I.....don't even know what that means SA....

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That wasn't my picture, but I'm still accepting the compliment.

 

I prefer women with a little thickness, too.

 

The other night at the casino a girl sat down at our table between me and my roommate and her boyfriend in another seat. Even with her fb there it was hilarious to see the demeanor change of every other guy at the table. Doubly so when he busted and never returned.

 

Anyways, she was wearing yoga pants and had one of the best butts I've ever seen.

 

 

Still cold AF here. Don't want to get out of bed.

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Also, if she brings up the diet or losing weight, its the perfect opening for "I'd have to see you in your natural form to make a proper judgement. My schedule is pretty wide open right now, so whenever is good for you"

 

Or

 

"Does that fancy phone of yours have a camera, because I just recently found out that I can, in fact, receive pictures on mine"

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The picture request should only happen of the conversation is via text.

 

 

Well duh

 

He doesnt talk to her in person

 

What are you doing up? More importantly, what are you wearing? Me? I have a light blue and white check shirt with a cross pattern tie. It looks pleasant

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