Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

Was he sheepish when he pulled it out, knowing it was tiny but also knowing there was nothing he could do about it and cumming feels just the same for everyone?

 

Or did he give you a TA DAH like a boss when he whipped it out?

 

Was his micro penis bigger than a thumb?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 267.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19411

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

you know who's funny? bill burr. guys a class A comedian.

 

Before he made it big, he came to my old college in the middle of nowhere in our campus cafeteria. The girl in charge of setting it up was dating a friend of mine so he came to our frat house the night before. I got to introduce him at the show and I was drunk, so he had 5 minutes of opening material on our dirty house and my drunk ass.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd like about 4 pairs of those dress shoes that Strat and Napa talk about, can't think of the company right now. I liked what I saw on that website.

 

Maybe a few pairs of awesome sneakers in all color combos for matching my outfits.

 

 

Chrinestone-mini celebrity, unfortunate frat boy

Link to post
Share on other sites

Now you KNOW I'm gonna want more deets. Why were you curious about him? Define micro-penis. Did you even notice it was inside you? Did you consider anal because you knew it wouldn't have hurt? During fellatio, was it like gumming a toothpick?

Was he sheepish when he pulled it out, knowing it was tiny but also knowing there was nothing he could do about it and cumming feels just the same for everyone?

 

Or did he give you a TA DAH like a boss when he whipped it out?

 

Was his micro penis bigger than a thumb?

  1. I was curious because...I was in my early 20s, feeling like I hadn't slept around a lot. I have never been attracted to guys more than a foot taller than me, but...he was a co-worker, was funny, was quite a bit taller and had massive hands and feet. Like chromosome abnormality large. I've never, never been a size queen but I had a wild bit of curiosity and he made himself very available. Brvy punished me.
  2. He had a very, very small penis. Truly pinkie sized and that was before "micro-penis" was on Sex and the City. I didn't (ahem!) know how to handle it.
  3. It was not particularly noticeable. I remember just waiting a polite amount of time. He had also been drinking which I can't imagine helped things along.
  4. He was very sheepish, and neither of us addressed the (sorry, gotta have this one too) elephant in the room.

Edited to add the happy ending:

 

Mr. Bait N Switch and I did not repeat our outings, and continued to work together. Obviously he would get drunk and then mope his way over to me and tell me how much he liked me. Never called me while sober, and was not particularly giving in our one physical encounter.

 

Years go by, he friends me on FB. He's married with two kids. There is a place for all of us, you know?

 

This fall, I tell the story to Gay BFF on our weekend. (We had all worked together and Gay BFF had banged quite a few co-workers on his own...) Anyway, I tell the micro-penis story and he blurts out, "That's the first interesting this Mr. Bait N Switch has ever done!"

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

well I don't know about them, but I want some Salvatore ferregamos. those bitches are fancy. but I'm poor, so no more of that.

 

 

guys I'm drunk. watching bill burr by myself. it's actually pretty great.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not against going online, Shake, expect I'm still horribly ugly and really not that cool to talk too unless I've been drinking.

 

Allen Edmonds, Ronald. Cole Haans are fine for the price though. I have a pair I realy like.

 

I want a pair of Ferragamo loafers, too, Shake. Cost about as much as Gucci loafers but you also get to be a little smug in saying "yeah, those are OK, you're really paying for the name anymore"

 

My "new me" cocoon is going swimmingly. Went to the casino with my roommate and had a handful of beers and lost $200. I can't be in charge of myself.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

napa shut the fuck up. you're not ugly. and even if you were... even if you were ****ing steve buscemi and margaret thatcher's love child... you still have shit going on. so shut up you faggot bastard. you can do better than 90% of the loser ass douchebags out there. get a god damn profile. say hello. it's hard. but it ain't as hard as posing on a poker forum on a friday night, alone, drinking yourself to sleep with robot chicken reruns. jesus.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Just cracked my 6th Mayflower Oatmeal Stout of the night. My poor colon, tomorrow.

 

 

Tracked my indoor reffing this year. Did right around 100 games. Made just over 3k. Doesn't seem like enough to be worth it, but the games are only 1 hour blocks, so it's effectively $30/hour, which is pretty good. But I mean, think about how many soccer games you watched this year. Indoor alone, I watch 100X more than you. Alas, reffing is basically my drinking money. Unfortunately, the untaxed 5k pretty much eats up all of my child refund bonus. Not expecting a whole lot of return this year.

 

My friend had some Blue Apron as a gift recently. He really liked it for the most part, but it is expensive (about $10/dish). So he told me to make it on my own, and it came out damned good, at about half the cost.

http://www.blueapron.com/recipes/gnocchi-with-sausage-and-savoy-cabbage

Link to post
Share on other sites

Finished up The Drop. Decent film. Hardy is excellent, Gandolfini was better in Enough Said. Doesn't take any easy movie-tropes to make the climax, but somehow it still doesn't quite work.

 

Also finished up Fury. I haven't watched a depressing war film in a while. It does it's job. Over the top at times, but mostly I just got how much war sucks. Has something to do with me getting older and valuing life more. But fuck, wars are absurd.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

going out with the girl this weekend. gonna see a movie or something.

 

she was out drinking with some friends tonight, one of them got my number off her phone and sent the WORST picture of her, that they had taken together at the table as a joke, to me.

 

Awesome! Good for you, buddy.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Drunk, angry shake is my favorite shake

 

Unless he'd consider letting me watch him bang his young latina. Then sexxing shake would be my favorite shake.

 

I have no idea what Blue Apron is but I do know that 6 porters for narrow ass Thera is a lot

Link to post
Share on other sites

nigga please, if I had my druthers I'd have 100 plus pairs. none pink of course, but still.

 

 

 

you know I still don't understand why suited and napa don't get on okcupid and give it the good it the good ole college try. guys like them can easily get girls but they'll never meet them in bars. or chipotles.

 

 

but seriously, the girls that would like guys like them aren't going out. they're sitting at home surfing dating sites for guys like them. how the hell do you think I found my girl? I'm less normal than all you ****ers. way more attractive but still.

 

 

edit: awesome questions

 

You found her online? I wondered but I assumed it involved drugs, rope and a black hood.

 

Allen Edmonds? or cole haan? cole Hans are great.

 

I think I mentioned it before but my daughter got me some Cole Haan loafers for my birthday. Never really been a fan of slip ons before but these are quickly becoming my favorite pair of shoes.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...