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I Called In Sick Today

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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The gesture is more important than the content.

Except if she wrote "hope you're not still at work, but if you are, can you make this spreadsheet for me?" Along with some winky face emoticon we aren't allowed to post in here.

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Okay JLL, yes, the work thing would be bad. I think IEs underling is taking that role.


Thank God we don't post emojis here.

yeah, I probably would not have taken kindly to spreadsheet requests.


when they were going over this new benefit at the all-firm meeting, a partner raised his hand and began his question with, "so I know we are all thinking about this, or at least trying to wrap our heads around it until strat has made a spreadsheet for it..."

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I forgot Friday night before the drink spillage, some random guy came into the bar bitching about his girlfriend and then offered to buy me some pickled eggs (the bar was out) and then bought me a shot and tried to get me to eat a hotdog, literally, that the bar has cooking in a little microwave oven thing. He then told me a #HOTTIP was to come in the summer and get a hotdog to eat while walking around the farmers market with. Told him I'd keep it in mind.


Also, my bartender friend, Brvy bless her soul, offered to throw out the group that spilled the drink on me. I told her chill, *blank* got me on payroll, let that man live. She said ok, if you say so.


And then when I was outside waiting for my Uber some (black) lady asked if I'd go into a bar across the street and grab her coat because she got kicked out. Told her, sorry, my rides going to be here any second. She then asked for a quarter. (She didn't appear to be homeless)


I asked for what.


What about two quarters?


I do, What do you need two quarters for?


Just give me the quarters man.


No, what the Fvck, ask for like $20 or something. Fvck can you do with .50?


Well then give me $20.


No, Fvck off


Man, Fvck you


Yeah, Fvck me, I'm the ******* because I'm just trying to get home and you're asking me for money for no reason.


Then my uber pulled up and saved me. She then asked a group or (black) guys to get her coat as I was getting into the car.

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Yeah, as of a few months ago. It's pretty neat!


If you're downtown, there's a cop managed taxi line so you can basically always get a cab home from there but good luck getting one anywhere else in the city. I still usually use Uber to get home from downtown though because it's cheaper and also fvck the cab companies. It's funny, within two months of Uber being here the major cab company came out with their own app that works similar to uber, I guess. Crazy how that works.

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Naps, my friend who you're going to party with at some point, Nate... is an Uber driver.

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I dont like it, can't put my finger on why. But ive taken a cab maybe four times in my life. I hate doing it.


What if you were at a bar, with an open tab, and surrounded by lonely, hot women, and the only way to get home to watch college basketball was to take a cab? Then how would you feel about them?

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Did you mean me, Brvy?


I would drive for Uber if my car wasn't such a pile.


Yes. Sorry.

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