Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

Grandpas wake tonight, funeral tomorrow.

 

Going to change my brakes this weekend. Way overdue. Might try to golf with a buddy if we can make it work. Maybe give the apartment a real deep clean. Who knows.

 

Wakes are terrible. Should be outlawed. Get a good round in after you say bye to gramps. Go for the green in two in his honor.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wakes are terrible. Should be outlawed. Get a good round in after you say bye to gramps. Go for the green in two in his honor.

 

Unless it's a par three.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Shake: Have you seen the movie, "Joe"? It's not as good as Mud, but you'll probably like it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Going to change my brakes this weekend. Way overdue. Might try to golf with a buddy if we can make it work. Maybe give the apartment a real deep clean. Who knows.

 

Didn't you say your brakes were so bad you were scared to drive about 8 months ago?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, the wakes going to suck. The funeral home only has a small "grieving room" and there's a million family members that will be on attendance so can't really hang out in there the whole time. And it's like, what responsibility do I have to be in the receiving line? 30 minutes? 2 hours? Nothing? Just occasionally? Do I have to be there the whole 5 hours? Ugh.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Its why I'm just gonna be cremated and want no ceremony. If people want to visit a bar and have some drinks and bs, that's great, but otherwise, nothing. Celebrate the life, don't mourn the death.

 

 

Napa, pay the amount of respects that make you feel good about it and hang out a little, then do what you gotta do. You are the grandkid, don't think you have receiving line duties. Is that even a thing? Support your parent, if they need it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm hanging out with my new best friend tonight. Hopefully she hits me with a hey buddy how ya been buddy when I see her so I can say doing good bro how ya hangin?

 

Do you two do the fist bump thing or a bro hug when you get together?

 

Jesus. You need someone else picking your women for you.

 

 

I've got some sort of allergy thing starting in my left eye. It's watering like crazy and hurts a little bit. Same thing happened last year about this same time. Not sure what it was/is but I had the worst eye boogers for a couple of weeks. Hopefully I can get after it quickly so it's not so bad this time around.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm hanging out with my new best friend tonight. Hopefully she hits me with a hey buddy how ya been buddy when I see her so I can say doing good bro how ya hangin?

 

make sure you wingman for her so she can bang a cute guy.

 

godammit.

 

Its why I'm just gonna be cremated and want no ceremony. If people want to visit a bar and have some drinks and bs, that's great, but otherwise, nothing. Celebrate the life, don't mourn the death.

 

 

Napa, pay the amount of respects that make you feel good about it and hang out a little, then do what you gotta do. You are the grandkid, don't think you have receiving line duties. Is that even a thing? Support your parent, if they need it.

 

lay my corpse on the pool table. when everyone is good and drunk, then put me in a wooden boat, set it on fire and push it out from the shore. think i might have to move to baltimore or some other shit city next to a large body of water. somewhere where public officials are easily bribed to look the other way on minor things like mishandling of human remains.

 

Funny, but no. She just happened to be at the hotel where it was being held. She had nothing to do with anyone.

 

mmmhmmm. and what was her hourly rate? gfe or pse?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Please, I ran game. Which means I was funny, charming and drunk.

 

 

One of the highlights was licking the nips and her nipple barbell unscrewed and came off in my mouth.

Link to post
Share on other sites

For Frau, but you probably already knew

 

http://m.hitfix.com/...ain, Dick'

 

I didn't know--thank you for the pointer.

 

I have my annual review tomorrow. The organization is having some restructuring, there is a good chance the midget will be reporting to me. Is this too much present? Am I worthy?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...