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I Called In Sick Today


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Fine. I would tongue her fart box if that's what she wanted.

 

 

Don't worry. I would never do that. Too much work and I'm too much of a wuss.

 

 

I had my phone off for most of my vacation. Woke up to a text from BC one day that was a poem about missing old lovers. Texted her and told her that if it's not going to be anything to not do that anymore and that I don't want to see her for awhile if there's any chance of us being friends. She didn't really say anything.

 

Old lovers? She does know sex has to be involved to be considered lovers right?

 

You did the right thing. She sounds more and more awful all the time.

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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An opportunity to provide her with a free dinner and maybe little make out session?

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good conversation is its own reward.

 

Then buy a puppy. They're cheaper and more loyal.

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girl just hit me with a "sounds good, my friend" text when discussing plans for tomorrow. so i got her right where i want her.

See, Napa - the more often you do things differently than this guy, the more pleased we are with you.

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See, Napa - the more often you do things differently than this guy, the happier we are for you.

 

 

Amen to that. (From the atheist, no less)

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girl just hit me with a "sounds good, my friend" text when discussing plans for tomorrow. so i got her right where i want her.

That really ducking sucks, though. At least she wasn't washing her hair that day.

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somebody say beer?

 

 

 

 

too smashed to read the details ya know....

 

 

 

 

Dont anyone get me wrong.... I loves me some "crafty" style beer. Ask the folks at the tripseven at main street.... they regularly ship containers of makers mark halfway across the country. On second thought dont ask. Not sure its legal

 

 

 

 

But.... I really dont give a shit if Im not eating with it. Hell...gimme a pabst. Dont bet much that I wont drain it. Fact is....(black guy in insurance ad voice)... a bad beer just give me more insentive to get to the bottom faster

 

 

 

 

Credit me with the statement above when it get to tshirt worthy status please....

 

 

 

 

that really shouldnt have been shared. like I said Im buzdrunked. later alligaterz

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Grandpas wake tonight, funeral tomorrow.

 

Going to change my brakes this weekend. Way overdue. Might try to golf with a buddy if we can make it work. Maybe give the apartment a real deep clean. Who knows.

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