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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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"sorry, employees, we don't have enough money left for raises this year. we were forced to spend it all on retained earnings."

 

At lease they didn't give you a cost of living reduction.

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Hey, Cobalt, if you are still interested in a toy to enjoy with your wife, this one has proven popular:

 

http://www.pinkcherr...ring-in-purple.

 

Cockrings are fun, and make your orgasms feel king of weird and cool.

 

Edit: FCP doesn't like the word "****."

Ended up ordering one of these:

http://www.amazon.com/Crazycity-Vibrating-Cockring-Vibrator-Stretchy/dp/B00KP5RLJI/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1403066379&sr=8-10

 

And one of these:

http://www.amazon.com/We-Vibe-couples-vibrator-Pink-lube/dp/B00KO74SFW/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1403066379&sr=8-3

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Also, Circuit City was the worst. I remember going in there with my parents as a teen. The sales floor was flooded with salespeople...to poach the adults and sell them Divx players (Remember those? They tricked my parents into buying one.) and Monster cables (because you need 3x the price cables to do exactly the same thing). Salespeople were impossible to be found if I needed help though. On the rare occasion that I got ahold of one, they were pretty worthless for information. "Hey, I would like to run a cable from one room to another so that I can listen to my computer on a stereo" was met with utter bewilderment and incompetence. Eventually went to Radio Shack and purchased about 40 feet of RCA audio cable (with connectors). It wasn't the most elegant solution...such things would be done without wires these days...but hey, I could play pool and listen to mp3s in the late 90's.

 

Tangentially, I was in an IRC chat room for the Napster release party, and I think I was the first person that I knew in person that had a CD burner.

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I need to get some kind of affiliate deal set up for sex toy sales, because I'm killing it. I've now sold 4 sex toys to a population of 5 people. Even if I only made $0.75 per sale, extrapolating that to the entire male population, that's (3.5*10^9)(0.75) = $2,625,000,000.00. Not a bad score.

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We-Vibe® 4 takes couples to new heights of intimate pleasure. The world's number 1 couples vibrator, completely redesigned for better fit, heightened intensity and more control. She wears it during sex for extra stimulation to her clitoris and G-spot. Together they both share the vibe. Extensive product research and testing with consumers, retailers, sexologists, relationship counsellors, OB/GYNs and sex researchers has led to the most advanced We-Vibe to date. We-Vibe 4 is shaped for even greater pleasure. Its new compact form hugs the body to deliver stronger, more intense vibrations. The curved clitoral stimulator follows the curve of her body and gently rests between the labia, while the stiff mid-section ensures a snug fit. The redesigned G-spot stimulator sits in place behind the pelvic bone, increasing stability and comfort for both partners. It's one wild vibe. Made with silky-soft medical- grade silicone, We-Vibe 4 is body-safe and 100% waterproof for fun in the shower and easy cleaning. The simple control button, at the top of the clitoral stimulator, cycles through 6 vibration modes. Or the remote control allows for fine-tuning of the stimulation. Use the up/down buttons to step through 10 levels of intensity or press and hold the up button to soar to max right away. Use the left/right buttons to go backward or forward through the modes - including the new Echo vibe, which alternates between G-spot and clitoral vibration.

 

I don't mean anything against relationship councilors, but I think I could have brought theirs R&D costs down enough that they could afford to pay me a full dollar for my referrals.

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Sklansky, do you know who Bailey Jay is? Jim Norton RT'd her this morning and I thumbed through the pics. Not bad. One of the best i've seen. She has bangs though, not my fave

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The tickets for that Outkast concert go on sale in 29 minutes. Created a ticketmaster account and added my card so I could try to expedite the process of purchasing. A friend of mine works at Wells Fargo and had early access to the tickets to the Warriors/Nuggets preseason game in the fall and so we got really good tickets for that, as well. Please keep feeling sad for me old high school friend.

 

My life is dope and I do dope shit.

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Oh shit...you think old people are only pretending to not understand computers, because they are so starved for attention from young people?

 

Well, umm yes. Did you ever talk to old people? I mean and the fact we really can't work computers, that too.

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Sklansky, do you know who Bailey Jay is? Jim Norton RT'd her this morning and I thumbed through the pics. Not bad. One of the best i've seen. She has bangs though, not my fave

 

Of course. Bailey sets the standard for tranny attractiveness, and also doesn't seem like an awful psycho. She is tranny girlfriend material, which doesn't come up a lot.

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Well, umm yes. Did you ever talk to old people? I mean and the fact we really can't work computers, that too.

 

I don't anymore. All the ones I had to died, for the most part.

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By myself. Don't know anybody in ATL. Just doing Winner stuff.

 

Ha, funny. She asked why I didn't invite her. I said because tickets are $300. (and also because I want to try and have sex with a black girl and also because you're the worst)

 

 

They announced Kid Cudi and Donald Glover will be performing as well. Kid Cudi is probably top 5 favorite artists for me and I like most of Donald Glovers stuff. Man, I'm excited.

 

 

Oh no, they added a second show the night before. Really testing how much of a Winner I am.

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By myself. Don't know anybody in ATL. Just doing Winner stuff.

 

Ha, funny. She asked why I didn't invite her. I said because tickets are $300. (and also because I want to try and have sex with a black girl and also because you're the worst)

 

 

They announced Kid Cudi and Donald Glover will be performing as well. Kid Cudi is probably top 5 favorite artists for me and I like most of Donald Glovers stuff. Man, I'm excited.

 

 

Oh no, they added a second show the night before. Really testing how much of a Winner I am.

 

You're going to Atlanta to see a concert by yourself? And I get that I have never heard of them, but what the hell? Please tell me there are plans for snorting coke off a hooker's ass while you're there.

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Yeah, going by myself. Not even making a vacation out of it. Just going for a day or two. Really like the groups, should be a crazy good concert, f' it.

 

 

But I am tempted to throw it up on stub hub for like, 5x what I paid just to see and live with missing this concert.

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