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I Called In Sick Today


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Your perception of Iowa is the issue here. Iowa is far more hip than you could imagine, and I'm obviously talking about city centers here, not farmers.

 

Actually, the issue is your perception of everywhere else. Everywhere else is far more hip than you could imagine, because you're from Iowa.

 

That being said...I've been wanting to check out the museum and if it's cool I might get the pass for myself, because exposing myself to more art is something I want to do to further myself.

 

Art is a guy's name. Focus on exposing yourself to girls.

 

Ask her if she likes nirvana. If yes see how she feels about the rape me track. Make sure your tone sends the message.

 

No matter how she replies, respond enthusiastically "That's the spirit!"

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Beat some balls today. I feel like I figured something out, but I usually do, and then it doesn't translate to the course. Here's hoping this one does.

 

 

Hell, I even hit 20 sand shots, chipped some and putted.

 

I'll eventually need to get a job, but this time is helping my golf game.

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Im in line to sell half my yearly total today if the bumble fvcks in HR requested my officer number on time. No one seems to know, but the new account paperwork is ready and there is no reason to put the guy who is leaving down, exceot if i don't have my numbet yet then i cant get the sale. What a bad beat if this goes down.

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My day so far:

 

Pretty good morning sex. (Even I was pretty good. I guess masturbating more helps with stamina)

Stayed in bed till 10am

Hit golf balls

Jimmy John's lunch

Watched 3 episodes of Orange is the New Black. (I'm enjoying it)

Now I'm taking a bath

 

I picked up some Jack. I will enjoy a drink or three a little later. I need to rob a bank or something. This is the life. I know how, it's pretty easy

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My roommate was in Vegas all week for a work convention. Was supposed to get back today at 5. He decided to take a later flight for a $600 voucher and won't be getting in till 10 now. So, instead of his boss taking him home I have to go get him. Not that I was planning on going out or anything but now I can't.

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Yeah, I could have said no but I'm sure I'll need an annoying for him favor at some point. Just a slight inconvenience. He pays more than his fair share of drinks and cabs and stuff anyways.

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Actually, the issue is your perception of everywhere else. Everywhere else is far more hip than you could imagine, because you're from Iowa.

 

Dude. I ****ing live in Chicago.

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My day so far:

 

Pretty good morning sex. (Even I was pretty good. I guess masturbating more helps with stamina)

Stayed in bed till 10am

Hit golf balls

Jimmy John's lunch

Watched 3 episodes of Orange is the New Black. (I'm enjoying it)

Now I'm taking a bath

 

I picked up some Jack. I will enjoy a drink or three a little later. I need to rob a bank or something. This is the life. I know how, it's pretty easy

 

all i want to know is how to identify which bands have the dye packs. other than that i think i've got a solid plan.

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all i want to know is how to identify which bands have the dye packs. other than that i think i've got a solid plan.

 

I can write you 2000 words on bait money. That's the least of my worries.

 

Basically, just threaten the shit out of the tellers and say if someone gives you a dye pack, you're gonna come back and blow their fcking head off after it goes off. Tellers are instructed to only give it out if they feel comfortable about it. Strat should confirm this info

 

 

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See? You now think Chicago is impossibly hip.

 

I live in the woods. In Canada. And I'm not impressed.

 

Michalea's not impressed gif

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I can write you 2000 words on bait money. That's the least of my worries.

 

Basically, just threaten the shit out of the tellers and say if someone gives you a dye pack, you're gonna come back and blow their fcking head off after it goes off. Tellers are instructed to only give it out if they feel comfortable about it. Strat should confirm this info

banks don't want to even hint that you should risk anything to protect their money. lawsuits. my bank didn't have the dye packs on their bait money but I have no doubt what you say is true. my bank's bait money had a strap from 2007 on it, meaning if you break that 20 strap and spend it, you're dumb.

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