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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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i think you'd have to be there for 6 mos for me to get any kind of referral bonus and the odds of both of us being there for that long make the most degenerate suckerbetter drool.

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This makes sense. People can change and grow. It's just not common.

 

 

Also: I can't believe you spend that much on clothes. Unless the people you schmooze notice that stuff and then respect you more. I could understand that. I have a hard time believing that the $300 pink shirt from them is worth $297 more than the pink shirt from Wal-Mart. But if you felt passionately about, I would love to have my view changed. I don't think you could do anything to reduce my opinion of you. I think you're awesome. Hopefully you know that.

 

I do like to have nice clothes--I like to dress nice, but I am hired help. I will never be in a high strata--the only thing I use for class warfare purposes is an expensive purse. It was a gift, not my taste, and I get compliments on it all the time. The other stuff--jewelry, expensive jeans, etc. I wear because I love.

 

I think it makes more sense to spend a bunch of money on work clothes, or jeans (in CA) than on a fancy dress for a wedding. Amortize the usage.

 

Thank you for thinking I'm awesome. I've made a pledge to try and be more sincere in 2014, in person and online. Your sincerity is next level, and I'm aspirational.

 

just about flipped a table and walked out today.

plus the posting is with a head hunter so they're willing to pay the finders fee on top of the higher salary. fuck!

 

Can you put your resume in with the headhunter? Or their nearest competitor?

 

Remember this?

Tonight I worked a donor event. I wore jeans, a dark green sweater, and red flats (trust me, it doesn't sound like I looked nice, but I totally fit in with rich white people who like to think they can be relaxed). Towards the end of the cocktail reception a woman came up to me and told me she loved my shoes. We talked a little, she gave me her business card and told me

 

A. She's an artist.

B. She wants to film me.

 

I didn't ask, but are you assuming clothes on or off?

 

Well, I booked my session with the artist today. I'll be taping my segment on Wednesday--I coordinated with her assistant. (The artist has a website, all clothes are on.) I'll be looking into a camera, saying her piece's thesis statement. This is very straightforward art, so it's about love. lurrrvvvveeee. The artist will be off camera, she will ask me a few questions, I answer. In between answers, I look into the camera and re-state the thesis, using whatever emphasis feels right to me. For right now, only the different iterations of the thesis statement will be used. The personal stories are just process which don't make it into the final product.

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ever seen the movie How I got Into College?

 

I thought about pulling an L.E. Phunt gag. basically an admissions officer doesn't like the focus the office is placing on test scores so to prove a point he submits an app with the name L.E. Phunt and great test scores the shows up with a trained elephant to the interview. I thought I'd submit my resume with someone else's name on it to see if I got an interview.

 

 

To me this projects sounds very sex, lies, and vidoetape-ish.

 

man, i'm full of pop culture reference at the height of their freshness and relevance today!

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Going to lunch tomorrow HERE with BC. I'll be wearing a forest green gingham shirt, dark blue jeans, and my red wing boots. Brown belt, brown strapped casual watch. Think I'm going to go with the chicken panini. Hopefully they serve food quickly so we have some time to look around but if not both my bosses are out tomorrow so if I take a little extra long lunch it'll be fine. I mean, it would be regardless.

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sounds creepy

 

Wait, you understood that?

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Going to lunch tomorrow HERE with BC. I'll be wearing a forest green gingham shirt, dark blue jeans, and my red wing boots. Brown belt, brown strapped casual watch. Think I'm going to go with the chicken panini. Hopefully they serve food quickly so we have some time to look around but if not both my bosses are out tomorrow so if I take a little extra long lunch it'll be fine. I mean, it would be regardless.

 

good life decision

 

Wait, you understood that?

 

yeah, its some weird, emo artist looking to make some over indulgent, pointless "film" where people express themselves by saying some mantra that is faux meaningful in the existential age we call 2014. this "film" will probably be playing on a loop in the background at some art exhibit where the emo loser's paintings of circles in different colors are displayed for idiots to look at.

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Going to lunch tomorrow HERE with BC. I'll be wearing a forest green gingham shirt, dark blue jeans, and my red wing boots. Brown belt, brown strapped casual watch. Think I'm going to go with the chicken panini. Hopefully they serve food quickly so we have some time to look around but if not both my bosses are out tomorrow so if I take a little extra long lunch it'll be fine. I mean, it would be regardless.

 

I disagree with this idea.

ever seen the movie How I got Into College?

 

I thought about pulling an L.E. Phunt gag. basically an admissions officer doesn't like the focus the office is placing on test scores so to prove a point he submits an app with the name L.E. Phunt and great test scores the shows up with a trained elephant to the interview. I thought I'd submit my resume with someone else's name on it to see if I got an interview.

 

 

To me this projects sounds very sex, lies, and vidoetape-ish.

 

man, i'm full of pop culture reference at the height of their freshness and relevance today!

 

I think the whole thing sounds hackneyed. I'm doing it because, yes, when weird things come into my life I try to move towards them. If James Spader somehow pops into the project I will have done everything I need to in this life.

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Going to lunch tomorrow HERE with BC. I'll be wearing a forest green gingham shirt, dark blue jeans, and my red wing boots. Brown belt, brown strapped casual watch. Think I'm going to go with the chicken panini. Hopefully they serve food quickly so we have some time to look around but if not both my bosses are out tomorrow so if I take a little extra long lunch it'll be fine. I mean, it would be regardless.

 

I never knew men planned their luncheon wardrobe, down to the f'ing watch band(!), the day before meeting their bi/gay friend who happens to be a woman until I started reading the sickie thread.

 

The fact you live in Iowa makes the above even more startling/amusing/disturbing.

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I disagree with this idea.

 

 

I think the whole thing sounds hackneyed. I'm doing it because, yes, when weird things come into my life I try to move towards them. If James Spader somehow pops into the project I will have done everything I need to in this life.

 

Don't we all.

 

This explanation makes the whole ordeal, and my wondering why the hell you would give up an afternoon you'll never get back to do this, more understandable.

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I disagree with this idea.

 

Fine, I'll wear my purple gingham shirt.

 

 

 

I know, but I've been doing a lot better. Oh, and the whole dating women thing last about two days before she realized she couldn't go through with it. I've turned down doing things with her outside of work. Just trying to be work friends. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

 

 

And I layout my clothes at night because then I can sleep in a little later in the morning. I have an interest in fashion and dressing nicely. Sue me. I'm also really good at shooting guns and building stuff and other "manly" things.

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Fine, I'll wear my purple gingham shirt.

 

 

 

I know, but I've been doing a lot better. Oh, and the whole dating women thing last about two days before she realized she couldn't go through with it. I've turned down doing things with her outside of work. Just trying to be work friends. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

 

 

And I layout my clothes at night because then I can sleep in a little later in the morning. I have an interest in fashion and dressing nicely. Sue me. I'm also really good at shooting guns and building stuff and other "manly" things.

 

you know one of the most "manly" things to do is?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

build a house.

 

what? you thought I was going to say "bang an obviously bi-curious broad over your lunch hour?"

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Believe you me, building a house would be so f'n cool. I built a treehouse once, but I don't think that counts.

 

 

Same with banging the bi-curious broad over lunch. That'd be pretty cool, tool.

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yeah, its some weird, emo artist looking to make some over indulgent, pointless "film" where people express themselves by saying some mantra that is faux meaningful in the existential age we call 2014. this "film" will probably be playing on a loop in the background at some art exhibit where the emo loser's paintings of circles in different colors are displayed for idiots to look at.

You sound down on it now, but wait until you find out the artist is actually Shia LeBeoaf.

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And I layout my clothes at night because then I can sleep in a little later in the morning.

 

I have an interest in fashion and dressing nicely. Sue me.

 

I'm also really good at shooting guns and building stuff and other "manly" things.

 

 

What, mom is busy?

 

Nothing wrong with having an interest in fashion and dressing nice so don't get your Prada panties in a wad. The level at which you plan and organize, 24 hours in advance of lunch with a "co-worker", that pushes it into gay town.

 

That's the Iowa part peeking it's subversive little head out I guess.

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