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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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You'll be fine.

 

Also, if you're getting piss tested you have the job. Congrats you old bastard!

 

Oh, I've already gotten the offer letter, accepted and all that jazz. But I still wonder if something came up they didnt like, would they rescind. Contrary to my seemingly cest la vi attitude, I can be a worry wart. Not to napaesque levels, but still pretty high.

 

yesterday she says to me, see you next week and I said actually tomorrow is my last day. She said, oh well I guess I'll never see you again, that's sad.

 

That's kinda funny on her part. I like it. You'll show her in 8 weeks, coming back all leaned up, beard trimmed to perfection, smelling good.

 

(None of those are gonna happen, are they?)

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Sounds like we need to officially invite T-Rex to join the thread.

 

comic2-1935.png

 

I've always thought of frau as the dromiceiomimus of the thread.

 

(Not specifically because of this particular comic, but the Slimey Welch thread led me to this post and that's why I was thinking about that just now.)

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I would just like to say something here about wearing fragrances: Personally, I don't like them. I think they are evasive and prefer both genders to be odorless. That said -- for whatever reason -- girls really like smells. If you don't have a pungent, synthetic smell all the time, and are trying to have sex with people, you should all really get one on yourself.

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Fine. Good point.

 

 

You know, not being able to smell makes me not think about using cologne. And I'm scared to go to the store and ask the counter girl for help choosing one because I'm afraid she'll just try to sell me an expensive one that doesn't smell good on me.

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You should hint at it with BC and maybe she'll buy you the kind she likes.

 

Or...

 

She'll buy him some and then tell him that she hates the way he smells.

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I didnt see where napa left himself open on FB. I did look through some pics. A few cute chicks. Chick in flag bikini is ready for my flagpole. Nice body

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Nap said "In HS I was voted Least."

 

And the easiest comment I came up with and didn't post was "Must not have been referring to weight"

 

But I'm not going to be mean on FB because I don't know who else reads that, except to you, because you are mean to yourself and even then when I do post something I hold back.

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Flag bikini is like my best friend, male or female. Her fiancée was a roommate in college and also one of my better friends. Might be seeing them tonight actually. She's in town for her cousins wedding. Might meet up with them downtown after the wedding. No, I don't know why the wedding is on a Friday.

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So a few weeks ago my boss tells me that soon a full time job will open in out department and he wants me to apply. So I say great.

 

Today at my exit interview I being that up and reiterate my interest and he says, stammering, uhh yeah sure apply that'll be good, even if you don't get this one there will be more open next summer.

 

Like why say that. You basically just told me I wasn't gonna get it. It stung a little.

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What can I say, I have a way with people.

 

Like seriously it's amazing I've ever accomplished anything because people just aren't fond of me.

 

Texted my girlfriend a few hours ago about hanging out tonight and she hasn't responded. I'm sure she's very busy and that's why.

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