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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Did you get the shower mount suction cup?

 

Ha, didn't know that existed.

 

Good one jubi. Although if I got one I'd wear a rubber when using it for a no messy cleanup situation.

 

Well this just makes no goddamn sense.

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Why would I deal with the clean up when I don't have too?

 

But what's the point of the thing if you don't actually feel it? Just pull out and cum on its tits, or handle, or whatever.

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Don't worry a condom won't keep me from feeling it. I'm highly sensitive. Plus it's like practice for the unlikely event i get to sex a lady in real life so I want conditions to as closely mirror that as possible and I would always wrap it up.

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She's going to be infertile by the time you get around to that.

 

 

Hey, a genie gives you two choices; which would you choose?

 

A sex doll that perfectly imitates a real woman. You can choose her form beforehand, she feels like a real woman, and all her parts "work," but she doesn't move on her own.

 

Or a "live" sex doll that perfectly imitates a real woman in every positive way, but she is 15 feet tall.

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Or a "live" sex doll that perfectly imitates a real woman in every positive way, but she is 15 feet tall.

 

So I can still choose exactly what she looks like? If so, I'd choose this one. The first choice is basically getting to regularly bang a passed out chick, which really doesn't sound like all that much fun. You have to do all kinds of work, and all it/she would do is sort of flop a round a little and not make a sound/snore. The 15 footer may be huge, but at least she could pretend to be enjoying it.

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So I can still choose exactly what she looks like? If so, I'd choose this one. The first choice is basically getting to regularly bang a passed out chick, which really doesn't sound like all that much fun. You have to do all kinds of work, and all it/she would do is sort of flop a round a little and not make a sound/snore. The 15 footer may be huge, but at least she could pretend to be enjoying it.

 

Yeah, she would still look the way you want her to look. But then she's approximately tripled in size.

 

The other sex doll would be like banging a passed out chick; I thought that same exact thing. I think it would help us not become attached to the doll though. Like, the more lifelike she gets, the more you're going to think of her as a real girl. That could be problematic.

 

The other problem is that the 15 footer is going to have a huge vagina. How do we account for that?

 

Also, when I say the live sex doll has moving capabilities, I don't mean it like an actual live woman exactly. More like if you want to do her doggy style, you put her in that position first and then the actual sex act will be lifelike with movement, but she's not a robot with artificial intelligence.

 

 

I feel like I'm saying too much.

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I mean, that means her vagina is triple sized. i don't fully understand the logistics of what goes on inside the vagina when my penis is in there, but I am assuming if there is 3X the space, that's not going to be a good thing. Now, titty ****ing might be like a small day hike then banging the foothills or the Appalachians.

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Yeah, she would still look the way you want her to look. But then she's approximately tripled in size.

 

The other sex doll would be like banging a passed out chick; I thought that same exact thing. I think it would help us not become attached to the doll though. Like, the more lifelike she gets, the more you're going to think of her as a real girl. That could be problematic.

 

The other problem is that the 15 footer is going to have a huge vagina. How do we account for that?

 

Also, when I say the live sex doll has moving capabilities, I don't mean it like an actual live woman exactly. More like if you want to do her doggy style, you put her in that position first and then the actual sex act will be lifelike with movement, but she's not a robot with artificial intelligence.

 

 

I feel like I'm saying too much.

You may have thought this out more than is healthy.

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You may have thought this out more than is healthy.

 

You have to admit it's better than the usual "would you rather" questions you get. Like would you rather be able to speak every language fluently or be able to play every musical instrument?

 

 

Actually, that one is kind of interesting. Answer that one too.

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Would you rather...

 

Have your brain act as an internal ipod where you can listen to any song at any time you want

 

or

 

Be able to watch your dreams on television?

 

 

 

See what you've made me do???

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You have to admit it's better than the usual "would you rather" questions you get. Like would you rather be able to speak every language fluently or be able to play every musical instrument?

 

 

Actually, that one is kind of interesting. Answer that one too.

I think the musical instrument one is more likely to get me some pussy, but speaking every language would be such a practical advantage (I realize that to Americans it probably seems ridiculous, but a huge number of people actually don't speak English). I go languages.

 

I also include in my languages all programming languages and, well, music is a language. That too. /cheating

 

Would you rather...

 

Have your brain act as an internal ipod where you can listen to any song at any time you want

 

or

 

Be able to watch your dreams on television?

I don't dream, as far as I can recall (I am aware this is probably not really the case, and actually according to my wife a few nights ago I sat up in bed, recited the names of everyone who posts in the sick thread (unclear if I did everyone ever, or just recently, or what) and then went back to sleep. I must have been having a great dream night that night...) (wow that was a long parenthetical notation), so I choose music. No, I agree with Napa, I can already hear most anything I want to, and I have no idea what I dream about, so I choose dreams. No, there's some things better left unknown, I choose Music. No, Dreams. No. No. No. I choose to be able to watch any porn, in my head and/or on a tv, anytime I want, ever.

 

Yeah, for sure the porn.

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my manager asked me point-blank today if my job is making me drink

 

in a way, I guess, yeah. I didn't say that of course. I'm just deeply unhappy about living at home, being a penniless loser, etc. getting blasted out of my mind and listening to music makes the time away from work more tolerable. the situation will be remedied soon enough.

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Don't worry a condom won't keep me from feeling it. I'm highly sensitive. Plus it's like practice for the unlikely event i get to sex a lady in real life so I want conditions to as closely mirror that as possible and I would always wrap it up.

 

It's an interesting theory, but I still hate it. If you don't use a condom while practicing, you're more likely to last longer when you wrap it up and can feel less. Secondofly, I don't know how much condoms cost in your neighborhood, but if I used them to masturbate when I was single I would have gone broke in a week.

 

Also, when I say the live sex doll has moving capabilities, I don't mean it like an actual live woman exactly. More like if you want to do her doggy style, you put her in that position first and then the actual sex act will be lifelike with movement, but she's not a robot with artificial intelligence.

 

Oh, well that's different. I wasn't thinking she'd cuddle and talk about her aspirations as a sex doll after, but I thought that during she'd be vocal what with the moaning and the dirty talk and the etc.

 

You have to admit it's better than the usual "would you rather" questions you get. Like would you rather be able to speak every language fluently or be able to play every musical instrument?

 

That is a good one. I suppose that depends on how well I can play the instruments. Being able to speak a language implies at least being close to fluency. I can play guitar, that doesn't mean it's at all useful.

 

Have your brain act as an internal ipod where you can listen to any song at any time you want

 

or

 

Be able to watch your dreams on television?

 

Neither?

 

my manager asked me point-blank today if my job is making me drink

 

in a way, I guess, yeah. I didn't say that of course. I'm just deeply unhappy about living at home, being a penniless loser, etc. getting blasted out of my mind and listening to music makes the time away from work more tolerable. the situation will be remedied soon enough.

 

Why did he/she think that was the case?

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