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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Tilt, you are authorized to use this one:

 

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SHAKE, check out my most recent follow on Twitter. @RateMyBackside Right up your alley. I also follow @RateMyKnockers

 

I enjoy @ILikeSexDaily @ILikeAssDaily @ILikeGirlsDaily etc...

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Man, you guys are harsh. She looks very cute. Don't listen to em Nappy

 

Yummy even

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Man, you guys are harsh. She looks very cute. Don't listen to em Nappy

 

 

 

 

Hell, Id trade the old lady and a car in for her with cash to boot....

 

 

 

 

Speaking of nothing to do with anything said today....

 

 

 

 

I was sitting around nursing a sour earlier when the wife strolled in with some chinese food. When I opened the styrofoam box there was an egg roll on top

 

 

 

 

Busted out laughing...

 

 

 

 

"Whats the matter?"

 

 

 

"You remember that time we all went to that joint in north vegas for chinese?"

 

 

 

"Oh...yeah.... I hit a jackpot in jerrys nugget and they had to pay most of it in twenties and fives"

 

 

 

"Then we went over to eat"

 

 

 

"Yeah.... Shane got us thrown out"

 

 

 

"Well...technically they just said it would be better for us to take our patronage elsewhere"

 

 

 

"That food was horrible but he didnt have to insult them so badly"

 

 

 

(Beans breaks out in another giggling fit)

 

 

 

"He bit both ends of that egg roll off and lit it up like a cigar!"

 

 

 

"It burned too!"

 

 

 

(both giggle for several seconds)

 

 

 

 

"Then he toted it around for the rest of the night....finally smoked it down"

 

 

 

 

"Ya know.... Ive lost my appetite for this.... lets grab a burger"

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I literally have no chance with her. None. Zip. Zero.

 

She's been talking to this dude who's a trainer at my gym all night. He started talking to me for whatever reason and he's like "oh, what are you drinking?" "Whiskey coke" :he leaves and I think he's buying me a drink for whatever reason:

 

Nope, just went and bought a whiskey coke for himself. It's like he's rubbing it in.

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napa, trust me, you're doing better than me. only female contact I've had tonight was a friend's friend that basically made fun of me for 10 minutes then left. at least women can stand being around you. that's something!

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Beans, you really need to swing by next Reno trip. I have so much booze that will never get touched. I have 5 different types of whiskey that have one drink out of them. I keep trying to convince myself I like whiskey, but I don't.

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Rooting for me is like rooting for Kentucky to win the National Championship this year. Just not gonna happen.

 

I fell in love with another girl I know from college and we talked about rap for awhile and she sent me some YouTube videos to watch. But she's moving to Mpls tomorrow. Not that I ever had a chance with her.

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The porn-ish pictures and gifs that people are posting...I don't get the point. Is it for the art? No, I don't think it is. What is it for? I think there should be a rule. You can't post an erotic picture unless you have successfully masturbated to it.

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Just curious but what, exactly, are you complaining about?

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The porn-ish pictures and gifs that people are posting...I don't get the point. Is it for the art? No, I don't think it is. What is it for? I think there should be a rule. You can't post an erotic picture unless you have successfully masturbated to it.

Pretty sure that was always a rule.

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NSFBrvyorLoogie

 

 

BGlHd0ACcAE_FPG.jpg

 

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The porn-ish pictures and gifs that people are posting...I don't get the point. Is it for the art? No, I don't think it is. What is it for? I think there should be a rule. You can't post an erotic picture unless you have successfully masturbated to it.

 

done and done.

 

--speedz

 

 

 

 

 

nicole-richie.jpg

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I had a chick tell me last night that if she had a sister she would totally hook me up with her. So that's something.

 

Didn't black out, but I tried really hard to.

 

Can't be bothered to check if I said this already, but another girl I was talking to texted me some YouTube vids about some rapper. I'm not sure what the protocol is in terms of replying. I can't imagine she's to terribly interested in my opinion.

 

There was the gym bro who was hitting on my lady all night totally faked me out with that whiskey coke who kept asking if I was going to make it to the gym today. I can only assume he's trying to get me to hire him as my trainer or whatever the ****. This sucks because now ill probably have to tell him no and now there's going to be somebody at the gym who knows how weak I am and now I'm really going to have to worry about being judged. Cancelling my membership.

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Eating at chipotle right now and there's like 10 young black dudes in here. Lil hoppers as they'd say on the wire. So I'm sitting here eating and a white guy and his wife walk by and the white guy nods at me and gives me the classic hello fellow white person look. Like he needs to know that I'm here in case a race war breaks out. Like we'd stand a chance. I'm running I tell you that. Not that these lil hoppers are bad kids. It's just the media makes me think they probably are. Damn media.

 

We call them niglets

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