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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Strat, ya dead mon?

 

Just saw its supposed to be in the 60s here on Friday. That's good cause I got no plans. Maybe I could wear shorts on Saturday. I'm a shorts guy.

 

 

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It's like, hey, you started all of this. You were the one who brought it up and invited us over. Then you remember you have to go see your cousins show choir thing?

 

Oh. I'm going to get rock hard alright.

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Girl cancelled plans for dinner. Now I'm depressed. Probably just going to go to the gym and then get drunk with my roommate.

 

What is Wednesday, Alex.

 

I'll take potent potables for 500.

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For beans:

 

zPan3gJ.gif

 

 

 

I gotta have one of those...

 

 

 

Sort of. It's called the Human Hoist. It, uh, needs some funding.

 

http://www.indiegogo...projects/304123

 

 

 

I was all ready to click add to cart until the funding part...

 

 

 

Ill just make one

 

 

 

I can come in when I want, go home when I want, drink at work when I want, watch videos when I want, make videos when I want...

 

 

 

 

Im glad someone else is laughing their asses off at these guys on a regular basis...

 

 

 

 

 

In other news, Ive been wet sanding and buffing all day

 

 

 

Picked up another bottle of that crown maple just in case I didnt give it a fair review. Im a fan now

 

 

 

At a five dosxx to one swig of it at least...

 

 

 

Check twitter for my day in a nutshell. Gimme ten minutes to operate the ophe

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It's like, hey, you started all of this. You were the one who brought it up and invited us over. Then you remember you have to go see your cousins show choir thing?

 

Maybe she just remembered she has a boyfriend.

 

 

Didn't realize Iowa state game is at 6. Ill be watching that and then maybe going to the gym.

 

No! You'll go the gym now! Fucking do it now!

 

 

Ill just make one

 

Make one for Ocho too.

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I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.

 

Chipotle though. I love it. Not too concerned with that app though. I'll wait in line. It makes that first bite all the better.

 

 

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Welp, get to my car to find two new nice sized dents in both my front and back drivers side door. It's like somebody opened up their door to hard and hit my door then thought maybe if I back up and hit the back door as well he won't notice. And I literally parked in the farthest spot in our parking lot. Not because I think people are going to hit me, but because I have low self esteem and don't think I deserve to park close especially when I'm going to be gone for a few days. Nice.

 

And then I get home to find out we don't get the game. It's probably on at the gym though. I'm going to eat a little food, let it digest and then go to the gym and be back for workaholics. I'm starving.

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A 2001 Ford Escape. A very uncool and old car, but dammit. I take care of it and it works and I don't want to buy a new car. It's not a huge deal because I've been dinged a few other times but shit, man.

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Im gonna hand deliver them...

 

 

 

 

It wont be the first time I showed up unannounced at a sickies house

 

 

 

 

Speaking of showing up...got a call this evening from the count. You non car guys wont relate, but Danny has a show on discovery called counting cars. Last summer I did a guest walk on appearance during filming. It got cut and left on the editing floor. No big deal... I was just pissed for a month or two...

 

 

 

Now it seems they want a certain car that I happen to have at my disposal

 

 

 

 

"Nah...you screwed me over on that last deal"

 

 

 

"Man....I dont have no control over what they show and dont show"

 

 

 

"Yeah.... and the guy with the bigger bar tab at your joint just happened to be featured for an entire episode?"

 

 

 

"Man....hes spent untold dineros here, man... me and you just trade shit out, man"

 

 

 

"But when did...."

 

 

 

"And about the bar tab, man....you aint paid a cent in there since your ass first sat down in there"

 

 

 

"....when do you need it?"

 

 

 

"When ya comin ta town?"

 

 

 

"On the ninth"

 

 

 

"Then the tenth it is"

 

 

 

"k"

 

 

 

"Outrageous"

 

 

 

 

 

Hopefully Pitt will be my stand in...

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