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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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you don't really post enough to qualify. its like a minimum amount of at bats to qualify for the batting title.

 

if you qualified you'd slide in right ahead of ronny. plus i just wanted to make the point that brvy is the worst. it was all about that.

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I mean, you can have your fun and all, but who are we kidding here? The big guy is and always has been a top 3 guy. Franchise player. Max contract.

 

I like what you bring to the party. You're fodder, you supply content. I dig it man, I dig it. But the big guy, top three. Don't fight it, embrace it.

 

You think you're gonna survive with a brvy, two Tilts and a Napa? C'mon son

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that wasnt most valuable, it was most liked. and you've been very mean lately. most valuable is a different list and i rank it thusly:

 

1. whiskers

2. ronny

3. strat

4. napa

5. shake (used to be number 1 but he's all depressed lately and doesn't post as much)

6. tilty

7. thera

8. tommy the chest gavin

9. guapy

10. me

 

brvy

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Panderier.

 

I forgot my edit of: none of this post is even remotely serious.

 

I'm neither valuable nor liked. I'll happily settle for tolerated.

 

You make a good point about liked vs valuable. Now I'm redoing my private list.

 

I'm personally happy with most all content to interact with. And I miss Nappy

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I'm only that low because I gave you some work and you didn't like it.

 

Yeah, you gave fool proof instructions, with an assist from TG, to give his penis a workout. What a dick you are.

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I'm still here, if only in spirit. They actually expect me to work at this new place and having your phone out is frowned upon. Plus, I'm still trying set the reputation of being a hard worker by coming early and staying late. I imagine that'll take a few months, but then I'll be set. I move Friday/Saturday. Not much else is happening in my life.

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Since I'm sure you're all dying for an update on the redhead I mentioned a few weeks ago I shall comply to your demands.

 

We keep going on and off. The third time we hung out we got involved in the craziest foreplay ever and eventually wound up with my wienis inside of her. She had effectively blue balled me through the initial foreplay and then we stopped for a bit and got back into it. She allowed me inside and it was over relatively quickly because instinct took over and I had to stop the pain. She told me the next day she wanted to slow down and didn't want to jump into anything and didn't want it to go that far. So I figured awesome I was awful and she's letting me down easy.

 

We hung out another time as friends and it was awkward because I can't be friends with someone I've already banged and want to continue banging so I was pretty much gonna just slowly stop responding to her and move on. Then one night she started texting me all sexy and started sending awesome pictures. We hung out again and she wore the yoga pants she had been teasing me with. We had AWESOME banging times. Seriously she bangs like a porn star. Best head ever. She gives me the best bj ever and we go back to making out and she stops and says "Mmm I was having fun with that" and goes back to town with the mouth action. Just a freak with the sexy time. She leaves and the next day same thing saying she doesn't understand how we can be going slow and having sex and she wants to slow down. Ok sure I say. I don't talk to her for almost a week. We do some friendly texting for a few days and then she comes over again and once again we can't keep our hands off each other. Even better banging if possible. And she tells me today she wishes she didn't want me so much because she's not ready to jump head first again. So now me ego is out of control. It works for me. Minimal effort on my part and whenever she's hurtin for a squirtin she comes to me.

 

If the situation was reversed and she was the man and I was the woman everyone would say he's such a jerk for using me for sex but on my end its awesome. If I was a woman I think I would never stop finger bangin myself. I would get a plethora of dildos and pretty much never leave the house.

 

Eventually I'm sure ill either want to start dating for real or just move one but it works for now. She's deceptively hot. As in wouldn't think it to look at her in public fully clothed but get her naked and Wowza. This got very long I'm sure about 1 in 38 readers will make it all the way through. I probably should've been more descriptive and interesting and he the readers attention. I love you Ron Mexico. And whiskers. And Napa. Suited. Shake when he's not whining too much.

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That wasnt so much an audit as a babysitting mission

 

That crap happens all the time in SoFL. Old people get easily confused by the brake and the gas

 

The audit came first. Then the baby sitting. Until I got bored and headed home at 3:15. Being a salaried employee has it's perks.

 

Oh man, I like boobs. Especially boobs around that age.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

I hate how much I like boobs, and especially ass, on 20 something women. It feels so dirty at my age but, damn, their little bodies are just so damned yummy at that age.

 

Does anyone else, after they write something they consider funny or entertaining, check to see if anyone liked it?

 

Yeah, me neither

 

I did lot's of liking. Just for you Ronnie.

 

if you can't make a list of your own then i'm unconcerned with how you view mine. because as of now, my list is the DEFINITIVE list.

 

Frankly, I'm far to high on both those lists. But the fact Beans was left off both of them, despite the irregularity of his posts, is blasphemy.

 

I can handle being left off the list but not if the list includes tiltinagain

 

Ouch. I read your whole long brag post and everything. A hole.

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Oh and the chubby blonde I was banging, she's been posting all over Facebook how much she's in love with her new boyfriend but the last few days has been sending me suggestive pics and texts asking when we can hang out again. Having just gotten out if a marriage where I was repeatedly adulterized I choose not to pursue the free banging. Karma baby.

 

Since my best friend tiltinagain sort of brought it up lets have a quick poll. I'm sure it's been done before but I'm curious. Boobs or ass? I myself am an ass man. Round, firm, but not too firm. Covered by jeans that appear to be painted on. Or the ultimate: yoga pants. Oh mama.

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whenever she's hurtin for a squirtin she comes to me.

 

I love you Ron Mexico. And whiskers. And Napa. Suited. Shake when he's not whining too much.

 

Made me chortle

 

We love you, and I'll pm my phone number. Forward all pics going forward.

 

 

No hash mark for you!

 

Oh, you got it. Wait, is a hash mark for a found reference or a missed reference?

 

I hate how much I like boobs, and especially ass, on 20 something women. It feels so dirty at my age but, damn, their little bodies are just so damned yummy at that age.

 

Creep

 

(I'm with you, buddy. Love em, but Don't tell anyone)

 

Karma baby.

 

Since my best friend tiltinagain sort of brought it up lets have a quick poll. I'm sure it's been done before but I'm curious. Boobs or ass? I myself am an ass man. Round, firm, but not too firm. Covered by jeans that appear to be painted on. Or the ultimate: yoga pants. Oh mama.

 

If karma existed, the world would be an entirely different place. Do it, but ask for something way out there. Tell her to bring a girlfriend.

 

I used to love a great ass. Still do. But real, great, round boobs are awesome as well. I can't choose. Clothed, ass. Naked, boobs. He'll, I don't know man.

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You and your damn group sex I swear. But no I do actually believe in karma and am patiently waiting for my ex wife to get Lou gerhigs disease. And also I know it would wind up right back in the relationship tip. After I broke it off with her last time she put on Facebook that firemen are like the fires they fight, pretty to look at but dangerous to play with. I could get so much skank ass with statements like that following me around.

 

Hmm interesting to differentiate clothed and naked. After being with a couple women who have had kids and a couple chubsters I HAVE come to appreciate a perky set of knockers. But man I still love that ass. Ill take a great ass any day. You will not change me Ron Mexico!

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Oh and the chubby blonde I was banging, she's been posting all over Facebook how much she's in love with her new boyfriend but the last few days has been sending me suggestive pics and texts asking when we can hang out again. Having just gotten out if a marriage where I was repeatedly adulterized I choose not to pursue the free banging. Karma baby.

 

Since my best friend tiltinagain sort of brought it up lets have a quick poll. I'm sure it's been done before but I'm curious. Boobs or ass? I myself am an ass man. Round, firm, but not too firm. Covered by jeans that appear to be painted on. Or the ultimate: yoga pants. Oh mama.

 

Ass for sure. And it's not even close. If there were a god he would get the credit for inventing yoga pants. Naked chick, bends forward just a bit, you get the great ass view AND the puss shot. I'm mean, it just doesn't get better than that.

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