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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Well, I was trying to say "stratego" but with an "-ery" at the end instead of the "o", but I like your update better.

 

And I never signed off on the Fuji apple.

 

I gotta go with the non-Milano (can't remember what the two options were) because I'm pretty indifferent but Milano offers up more opportunities to sounds racist than the other cookie. Something I try to avoid in polite conversation (sounding racist, that is).

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This chick that I'm absolutely in love with keeps showing up on my fb feed even though I haven't been doing any stalking of her lately.

 

I must have her.

 

Frau, put together a 10 point plan for me and I'll back your Fuji apple resolution and will bring three votes to whichever cookie you want me to.

 

 

I've been watching a lot of the West Wing.

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This chick that I'm absolutely in love with keeps showing up on my fb feed even though I haven't been doing any stalking of her lately.

 

I must have her.

 

Frau, put together a 10 point plan for me and I'll back your Fuji apple resolution and will bring three votes to whichever cookie you want me to.

 

 

I've been watching a lot of the West Wing.

That's a can do, but I need some back ground. What's her mission statement, her elevator speech?

There once was a cookie called Nantucket.

It was shaped like a penis.

 

Points one and two, check!

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I'm pretty sure she's in one of the last years of dental school. She was engaged for a short time but from what I gather he was very attached to his mother which was an issue and she's been single since. This was about a year ago.

 

She used to go on runs with me when I was cutting weight for wrestling in high school. We went to the same school for undergrad, but rarely saw each other.

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I'm pretty sure she's in one of the last years of dental school. She was engaged for a short time but from what I gather he was very attached to his mother which was an issue and she's been single since. This was about a year ago.

 

She used to go on runs with me when I was cutting weight for wrestling in high school. We went to the same school for undergrad, but rarely saw each other.

 

Easy peasy.

  • Walk up to her. (This is a non-negotiable. No texting, you're trying to reconnect. Face time, meatbag to meatbag as much as possible.)
  • Smile.
  • "Hey. How are you?" It's a classic for a reason. Do not get tricky. Listen to her answer.

  • "You know, I've been trying to get into running again. Would you be my running partner?" This tells her you've remembered her, in a good way. Running together is a way to spend time together, and if she's a busy student, you might have a better shot at her going along with productive exercise, than the dreaded "hanging out sometime."
  • If she says no, than immediately follow up with "Well then how about a Fuji apple?" [it doesn't have to be an apple, it does have to be a specific activity, time, place. Bonus points if it doesn't involve alcohol.]
  • If she says yes to the exercise, after two weeks of the running, ask if she's like to grab a bite, at local eatery.
  • Either way, after she's eaten, and you two have talked, ate, and you had one and only one drink, you kiss her, after leaving the restaurant, but before you get in the car.

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Go on Napa, tell the only girl in the thread how she doesn't know what she's talking about in regards to talking to a woman because you made out with one in college!!

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OK. That sounds great.

 

Now lets pretend that, hypothetically, she lives ninety minutes or so from me.

 

Edit: And that I have no way of "running into her" without some probably illegal stalking.

 

The running can take place on weekends, with you and she running somewhere near where she lives. (You have a new job, spend that money on gas.) She'll like the effort.

 

If you ask her the first part of the plan, "Hey want to go running..." over email, you have 10-25% likelihood of success.

 

I

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Frau, you're a peach for indulging me. Thank you. Ignore Tilty because I have no idea what in the sam hell he's talking about. I think I have a strong track record of asking for advice and then taking it. I assume he's trying to make a joke, but you can never be to sure.

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do you have any advice for guys that are very unattractive and generally unlikable in every way?

 

 

 

off today. gonna watch me some friday night lights, couple of movies, and go to the gym to get my swole on. considering the holiday I figure I ought to do something mildly racist like eat fried chicken and drink grape soda. that actually does sound pretty delicious.

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That Tilt has no idea how to do his job!

 

I know, right? That guy is sooooooo out of it.

 

 

 

Strategirly?

 

We've agreed the Fuji apple is the superior apple. How about the second part of my dinner? Pepperidge Farm cookies--Nantucket or Milano?

 

InternetExplorer's old name was Strategy. And he has a third leg hanging from his genitsl region. It actually causies him lower back troubles. If he cut it off, he"d immediately be at his target weight

 

 

I enjoy the Milano, which is odd because I don't love dark chocolate.

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I've never been a fan of grape soda. Just not my thing I guess.

 

When you walk by people and they are laughing, do you assume they are laughing at you? I mean I'm mostly sure they aren't, but I still get a little paranoid.

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When you walk by people and they are laughing, do you assume they are laughing at you? I mean I'm mostly sure they aren't, but I still get a little paranoid.

 

tumblr_maw3bwGaLC1r2cdnpo1_500.gif

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yeah i didn't get any. but nobody could really have thought i would.

 

Because you didn't try or because she rejected you? Obviously it's because you didn't try. The next time you see her you need to make something happen. Don't tell yourself you'll do it when the time is right. Just do it. Nike. Note: I've never done anything like what I'm telling you.

 

 

why, exactly, is it exclusively on the guy to make a move?

 

It's not. Unless you're with a girl who thinks it is. No reason to not make the move to prove a point.

 

 

at the risk of bringing more shame down on my own head, she texted me today and we're going to the movies later. gangster squad. i'll be sure to put my dick in the popcorn.

 

Literally laughed out loud at that punchline. Nice work.

 

 

 

"To revisit from the beginning, before we drafted you, you told us that your fear of flying was not an issue and that you were ready to be an NBA player. Shortly after we drafted you, you apologized for having to mislead us."

 

Wow. I don't think I've read anything where White doesn't come across badly.

 

 

Anything directed by Guillermo del Toro, who also directed Pan's Labyrinth, is going to be good.

 

Pacific Rim? There's a Coen Brothers movie coming out February 8th.

 

 

how long do your morning reports take? where do you get the data?

 

A few minutes. By song from a red-billed hornbill bird.

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banana republic screwed up their sale and allowed me to stack 30% and 40% off coupons last night. they also have free shipping on $50 or more, and I selected free, but the stacking nonsense took me down to $42, and it still shipped free.

 

I got a belt and a shirt. for $42. I don't know that it was a deal. they fixed the mistake this morning, so they must have been not doing great on it, so I guess I won?

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