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I Called In Sick Today


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Shake stole my response.

 

Strat has been very funny, oddly enough

 

Napa doin what he do, i like.

 

Suited being the colossal, incorrect fag as per ushe

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Move in for a kiss.

Grab her tit.

Take notebook out of pocket.

Put a checkmark next to "kiss/tit grab".

Say goodnight and leave.

Text her later that night apologizing for being such an animal.

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Hey guys...when we do this can we got to 7 Flags and get one of those ole timey pictures taken of the three of us and pretend we're the young guns? Ill be Charlie Sheen, SA can be Emilio and Strat is Dermont Mulroney.

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the "going to take things slow" as a response to "he's moving too slow" was probably suited displaying an excellent sense of humor. you all just missed the joke, have subpar intellects.

 

Exactly what I was doing. The whole time too.

 

 

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Hey guys...when we do this can we got to 7 Flags and get one of those ole timey pictures taken of the three of us and pretend we're the young guns? Ill be Charlie Sheen, SA can be Emilio and Strat is Dermont Mulroney.

 

Suited is more like Hendry William French in Young Guns II

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Guys who say "ushe" = guys who say "give me the deets"

 

Yes?

 

I am doing it more as a joke. Remember the back up tight end on Hard Knocks Dolphins? When he told his gf that she looked hot, as per ushe.

 

Slayed me

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Remember the back up tight end on Hard Knocks Dolphins?

 

Since I've never seen an episode of Hard Knocks, I do not remember that.

 

Also, I finally heard what you were talking about on LeBatard with the cough that they replayed over and over again. I think what threw me was that you wrote "Bill Polish" and I couldn't figure out where to look for that. But as soon as Bill Polian coughed, I knew right away.

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should probably be an iPad and a spreadsheet. huge font / checkboxes. comic sans.

 

this was really enjoyable

 

 

hey suited if the tit grab doesn't work I want you to seriously consider calling her a fat cun't ok?

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And I'm not old enough for that reference, old man.

 

Wait, so you get a Young Guns reference, but not the movie made AFTER it because you're too young. And, you apparently make Sneakers references all the time, a movie made in 92. YG2 was made in 90. Your old jokes are getting weak son, weak. Like your abilities with women. No wait, those are non-existent

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The jokes are weak? YOU'RE WEAK. I drove an 80 thousand dollar BMW, and you drive something not as nice. I forgot how it goes.

 

But yeah guys, I appreciate the support AND the jokes. I'll do my best tonight. What more can I say?

 

 

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You can be your sweet asses I've noticed everyone else's typos and I've ignored them. Mine were egregious.

 

Really Whiskah? I was laughing so hard in my driveway. Crying laughing. Considered pausing it so I could catch my breath. And I usually dont laugh like that, when sober. But I guess I could see why it would be just chuckleworthy

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