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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Today I was reading in my lunch break and came to a sentence that ended "Willie fingered his sabre". Immediately I looked around for someone to tell about it, even though I already knew I was alone in the breakroom.

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well that's because you're an idiot.

 

"Okay, too much testosterone around here for me."

 

and so am I. jesus freaking christ how did I not get this? only excuse I can figure is that it was a quote from a woman and I mean who the hell listens to anything they have to say right?

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i don't care who it is because they read over their lunch break and i don't respect that.

 

All I do is read over my lunch break. And eat the Jimmy John's number 10 with a pickle and fountain soda. Seriously, 3 times a week. I need to stop. $9.25 a day. Not to mention how fattening.

 

I used to read a book or a sports magazine. Then it was printing out articles from ESPN and Yahoo sports. Now I just read us, twitter and ESPN and Yahoo sports articles off of my phone. Twitter is great because my writer follows link their shit. Handy.

 

To quote Mikey from Swingers while in the trailer outside of Vegas at presumably 8am to Trent, Double Down, "well, we've all got stories"

We wore that out whenever one of us would tell a pointless story, which was often me.

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All I do is read over my lunch break. And eat the Jimmy John's number 10 with a pickle and fountain soda. Seriously, 3 times a week. I need to stop. $9.25 a day. Not to mention how fattening.

 

I used to read a book or a sports magazine. Then it was printing out articles from ESPN and Yahoo sports. Now I just read us, twitter and ESPN and Yahoo sports articles off of my phone. Twitter is great because my writer follows link their shit. Handy.

You should really be using Spoolios.com

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It's a Diet Coke, oddly enough.

 

CALLBACK

 

An excellent one at that. I only use that at McDonalds after a unusually large order.

 

 

You should really be using Spoolios.com

 

I will look this up. I'm nervous and titilated all at once.

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watermelon gif

 

NOW THATS HOW ITS DONE NEW GUY. LEARN SOMETHING.

 

All I do is read over my lunch break.

 

you're insane i say. i need to relax during my lunch. i usually just sit in my car and nap.

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All I do is read over my lunch break. And eat the Jimmy John's number 10 with a pickle and fountain soda. Seriously, 3 times a week. I need to stop. $9.25 a day. Not to mention how fattening.

 

Jimmy Johns is friggin' dangerous....so good and so convenient. #9, add bacon. No tomato.

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bought a half a gallon of jaeger. it was like, $30 for 1L and $40 for 1.75L. the staff was like, you need to put that back and get the half gallon. I'm like, yeah ok. so I'm a little tipsy.

 

How do you drink it, straight? I have half a bottle left on top of my fridge, but no red bull to go with it.

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Strat, jaeger? On a Thursday, home, alone? Everything ok?

 

Seriously though, I guess it's straight to the point. I'm with Adam, I'd need the red bull. But his adding of bacon and no tomatoes, blasphemy. I don't like bacon on sandwiches. It takes over the sandwich. I like the meat, cheese, mayo and veggie combo with the bread. Throw in some roasted red peppers occasionally, maybe a spicy cheese: dy no mite.

 

 

Spooling is interesting, good idea. Sadly I'm way too lazy to set up an account. I'll read anything interesting, but mostly MMA stuff. I never read the local news (from my hometown, not Orlando) or Dolphins/Heat/Yankees/Marlins-centric stuff. I'm weird like that.

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