I Called In Sick Today

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Nice one JLL

 

Shakey, do you not build any rapport with these broada or what? Its not my first line jokes or conversation and I dont say overtly awful stuff, but well placed quips and jokes work. You are good at that. Do you have some creepy "looking through them" stare or something? I cant fathom you being bad. Strat, I can believe. SA and his borderline sportsfan lunacy, sure. You? Not so much. Puzzling.

[iZuma 764]

hell man if I knew the answer to that question I might be able to fix myself and actually get a girl. but alas, I don't, so I can't. whatever. no loss.

[The Ocho 970]

 

 

 

you just want me to become a registered sex offender, don't you?

 

So is it like when you DL a new program and it give's you the remind me later option? Is that what's holding this up?

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

bleep you talking about ronny? just yesterday a girl texted me out of the blue for a little date. obviously i gots what they neeeeeeeeed.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

bleep you talking about ronny? just yesterday a girl texted me out of the blue for a little date. obviously i gots what they neeeeeeeeed.

legal acumen?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

The Capacity to be her gay friend?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I would love to have you guys down and hang out a couple of nights. Just to obaerve.

 

It would probably go poorly, mainly because of me. One of two things would happen. I'd eother try too hard to chat up the ladies that I'd get us kicked out, beat up or arrested for stalking or I'd do my standard routine of talking to no girls except the one thats paid to, the waitress. I really charm those damn waitresses though. Big tips, buy em a shot, sometimes they even touch my shoulder. This one time, a cute one put her boob on my while showing me the beer menu.

 

 

[Tiltinagain 973]

i believe that was animal house.

 

 

That's the scene. Nice work.

 

Speaking of boobs on the shoulder. When I was in high school I got my hair cut by this little hottie named Star. She was probably 25 at the time. God I had a crush on her and more than once she commented that I was in a little sooner than needed. But she'd wear these low cut scoop neck shirts that showed off her incredible rack every time she bent forward a little. The best was when she'd stand in front of me and kind of lean forward to cut the front. Straight down the shirt view. Obviously she knew what she was doing and I appreciated it immensely.

 

Come to think of it, she moved away shortly after I started dating this one girl (obviously broken hearted that I was off the market) and I'm pretty sure she moved to the L.A. area. Of course she'd be around 50 now so no doubt the boobs are at her knees.

[Napa Lite 3,278]

The only thing that would be accomplished by me going to Florida is there would finally be somebody to attest that I have no real personality or hope.

 

I don't like the flow of that sentence but whatever. You get it.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

I streamed a lot with a webcam recently, seems like that should be evidence enough that I am not some weird creeper type. it's just, the sexual jokes, they did not play at all with LG prior to us being a couple. I never even tried with the FL one because, same story, just not that kind of girl. if I made sex a priority like RM does, then yeah I'd make damn sure every female in my life was totally cool with being hit up for this or that sexual activity at any moment. but when that is totally outside of any interaction we've ever had, well, then it's creepy and maybe suggests I've been hiding it/been false this whole time.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

we really should plan a group trip to orlando. it will never happen, but it should.

 

have to dinner with my father and my step-mother tonight. stratty, we're going jack stack so i at least got that going for me. i plan on going with the lemon chicken. i always go with the lemon chicken.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

The only thing that would be accomplished by me going to Florida is there would finally be somebody to attest that I have no real personality or hope.

 

I don't like the flow of that sentence but whatever. You get it.

 

I'd probably forget to pick you up at the airport or accidentally leave you at a bar.

 

I streamed a lot with a webcam recently, seems like that should be evidence enough that I am not some weird creeper type. it's just, the sexual jokes, they did not play at all with LG prior to us being a couple. I never even tried with the FL one because, same story, just not that kind of girl. if I made sex a priority like RM does, then yeah I'd make damn sure every female in my life was totally cool with being hit up for this or that sexual activity at any moment. but when that is totally outside of any interaction we've ever had, well, then it's creepy and maybe suggests I've been hiding it/been false this whole time.

 

First sentence you wrote, probably never been true, in the history of the Internet and people that "stream".

 

Moving on to the insulting part of the email. First off, I'm sure I've oversold how much sex stuff is in the conversation. It's not just orgy orgy, boobs, ass, bj's and makeout. The girls that I like and find attractive and become friends with, I'll just eventually make sure they know that I think that way about them. I'm not wagging my dick all over a TGIFridays or anything. Ok, bad example, but I think you take my point.

 

I certainly don't want to bang every girl I meet either. I don't know, I guess you have to see it. I have made off color jokes, sexual jokes and laid sarcasm on thick at every stop of my job life and never once has anyone ever complained, and more times than not, people will tell you that they miss working with me. My friends, as anyone on FB can see, the pick on me, know that I'm a goof and all cal me gay as well. So, what you've seen on here, with Idaho, Renae, Lolli, Andi, etc. that's pretty much me. For bad or for good.

 

And no offense Strat, LG ain't the only girl on the planet. I'm sure she's a hoot and all, but if you compare all girls to her, you're gonna be in trouble nits understandable that you do it. Just try not to. I speak from experience. And you were chatting with this girl, sorry, streaming, for how long? And sex never came up? Are you really that unmotivated by the flesh? If so, why all the depression over women and loneliness? I'm genuinely curious about that.

[ShakeZuma 585]

that was an email?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Dammit. Not an email. Post.

 

I won't edit it so I look stupid, not you.

 

Edit: I wasn't insulted either.

[iTommyGavin81 288]

Non-sequitur time! So that chubbier girl is getting totally attached and now I'm gonna have to apparently break up with her even though I didn't realize we were in a relationship. She came over a second time we hung out, had some beers and had sex 3 times again. Then she came over a few days later and we hung out at my place and had sex 2 more times. She texts me way too much. And today she said something along the lines of I want to hear how you feel about me. I have insecurities when it comes to relationships... Or whatever we are but I'm trying not to. Eek! She's coming to town to go to the bar with me and my friend and his wife then well probably get drunk and bang some more afterwards. But I gotta get out of this bs. She's way to attached already which doesn't bode well for her. I wish she could just accept the banging and just hang out because she is fun in that regard. Don't really enjoy her much otherwise no butterflies so to speak. No spark except when were naked. Plus I got too many hoes I gotta plow through to get over my lesbian ex wife.

 

I guess to tie all this in to the conversation, go for the chubbier girls. You don't really have to charm them that much. Chubby in clothes usually still looks pretty damn good nekked. Just don't make then so happy that they want you in a relationship.

[The Ocho 970]

I think what is going on here is ronny boy has recently hit the big 40. He is not married, has no kids, from the sounds of it probably won't. You guys are his children, he is trying to impart his wisdom upon you. Take the fatherly advice, he won't be around forever to help you.

[ShakeZuma 585]

oh I like the advice. hell it's actually good advice, just not any that I can take. I can't talk to women in an effective flirty way, never could, never will. gonna be a friend until I find one of the psychopath one's that end up liking me bearable enough to stay with. or not at all. either way, no big deal. as long as there's still netflix.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I think what is going on here is ronny boy has recently hit the big 40. He is not married, has no kids, from the sounds of it probably won't. You guys are his children, he is trying to impart his wisdom upon you. Take the fatherly advice, he won't be around forever to help you.

 

Amusing

 

But no. If these guys were my kids, I'd support retroactive abortion

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Non-sequitur time! So that chubbier girl is getting totally attached and now I'm gonna have to apparently break up with her even though I didn't realize we were in a relationship. She came over a second time we hung out, had some beers and had sex 3 times again. Then she came over a few days later and we hung out at my place and had sex 2 more times. She texts me way too much. And today she said something along the lines of I want to hear how you feel about me. I have insecurities when it comes to relationships... Or whatever we are but I'm trying not to. Eek! She's coming to town to go to the bar with me and my friend and his wife then well probably get drunk and bang some more afterwards. But I gotta get out of this bs. She's way to attached already which doesn't bode well for her. I wish she could just accept the banging and just hang out because she is fun in that regard. Don't really enjoy her much otherwise no butterflies so to speak. No spark except when were naked. Plus I got too many hoes I gotta plow through to get over my lesbian ex wife.

 

I guess to tie all this in to the conversation, go for the chubbier girls. You don't really have to charm them that much. Chubby in clothes usually still looks pretty damn good nekked. Just don't make then so happy that they want you in a relationship.

 

I'm going to suggest crazy strategy here. Honesty.

 

Look, I like you, you're sweet, sexy and so much fun. But I just got out of a crazy relationship (feed her a detail or two) and I'm not capable of committing to anything right now, even if its to my own detriment down the road. It just wouldn't be fair to you.

[ShakeZuma 585]

but that's not honesty

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I don't mean all the stuff as advice. Hell, I don't know anything, truth be told. Just nothing else to talk about, so screw it.

 

Go Heat?? Go Dolphins!!!

 

I have 80 DVDs. Want to get rid of them, neighborhood is doing yard sale. Thinking of just getting rid of em. Huge loss and what does it hurt to keep them? I just want to get rid of a lot of the fluff in my life. Minimize yo

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

but that's not honesty

 

You're like the post police tonight.

 

It's part honest, part nice, part keep banging me with hope I'll come around.

 

Edit: Maybe he should tell her he's into group sex and swinging. She''ll be mortified or he gets to live out some 2 girl one guy fantasies.

[iTommyGavin81 288]

Oh I know I got the speech all set up pretty much it's a get out of jail free card. I just hate breaking hearts. I feel guilty as hell about it. I'm as bad at breakin up as these fellas are about talking to women. Especially this one because I hate Having to break up with someone I don't even know I was in a relationship with. And she is actually a really good person and good friends with my friends and she's probably never had the chance to be with such a hot stud like myself with such a good set of pecs. Side note which made me laugh she constantly bites my chest while we're doing the deed and bruises me like a peach. I thought of you guys and the old CHEST joke while I was naked and erect.

[ShakeZuma 585]

honesty is really a stupid policy.

 

of all the things I want to get rid of in my life, I have to think that my dvd collection would be damn near last on the list. why would you want to get rid of your dvds? are you sure you'll never watch any of them again? I know I still watch all of mine at least every now and again. well maybe not all but a good portion. probably going to watch csl again this weekend cause WHY THE HELL NOT.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

I have about 70 of em, maybe more. I'd guess that I haven't bought one since 2006, 2007 at best. Haven't put one in the DVD player in probably 4 years. These are my favorite movies too. I have all the channels on Directv so I just watch whatever movies are on. I rarely invest the 2 hours to watch a movie I've seen 5 times on DVD.