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I Called In Sick Today


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so I'm stuck at 170. took in like 800 calories yesterday, maybe 1200 today. I'm still getting pangs of sadness about once per 5 minutes when I'm not distracted (big improvement), and as I've mentioned before, I under-eat in times like these. so for me to stay the same weight in the most depressing week I've had in a very long time, well, I'm surprised. anyway, I have noticed some fun stuff. my belly creases in a different place now. and I can fully pop out my belly button for the first time in about a decade. found some disturbing stuff in there. and now my stomach feels really weird.

 

feel like I channeled turd ferguson in this post just a little.

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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OH FUCK ME I DON'T KNOW HOW INSTAGRAM WORKS AND I ACCIDENTALLY JUST LIKED THIS GIRL'S PHOTO AND NOW SHE KNOWS I'M STALKING HER AAAAHHHHFUCKTECHNOLOGY

 

seriously, god damn it.

 

 

and here are my responses to other things:

 

ron mexico: you ain't kidding. this morning was very tough. finally slept last night so when I did get up and it was all cold and stuff, it was not a pleasant experience getting out of bed. especially considering my house is cold as caveman balls (I'm assuming they were cold. awaiting randy to verify.)

 

fraut: that first sentence, second paragraph could have really used some quotation marks. but 2 interviews that fell through? that's weird. I'm assuming you don't work in a regular "business" type field? I don't think I've ever had an interview completely fall through. had a guy forget about me once, but he still met with me. it was awkward sitting there with both of us knowing that I wasn't getting shit, but still had it.

 

 

strat: have you considered: exercise?

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I do the sleep with open window thing, too. So GD cold in the morning, but man I sleep so much better. It's not to bad now, but come winter I'll wake up, close the window, open my vent, and then keep my door open while I shower in an attempt to circulate the warm air from the hallway into my room. It's not a perfect system.

 

Strat, ya, what Shake said. Up the calories and up the exercise. Even just some body weight stuff is fine if you don't have weights.

 

Just gave cute finance girl the finger guns after she waved at me from across the row of cubicles. One time in my life I wish I could respond appropriately in a social situation.

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sounds like some sweet smut. i'm all boned up over here.

 

i desperately need to get back in the gym. i'm talking tomorrow night i either go and get a little cardio done or i just go ahead and die of a heart attack right now.

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shake, how'd the house take the storm?

 

nappy, how's your dick?

 

ronny, how's your ass?

 

stratty, how's your heart?

 

joey, go bleep yourself.

 

tilty, how's the traffic?

 

hanky, where are you?

 

randy, how's your osteoporosis?

 

guapy, how's the wife and my kids?

 

brvy, how's god?

 

yorky, what's science discovering right now?

 

tommy, how's the chest and the dating of women going?

 

therafluey, how's the beer?

 

come on people work with me here.

 

edit:

 

jubi, sorry buddy, how's canada?

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My dicks my dick, man. No action whatsoever. Shared a bed with a girl that's just friend this weekend. Luckily I was pretty hammered and didn't have to worry about any awkward (for her) boners. And before anybody says anything about missing an opportunity, she has a boyfriend she was texting in bed, she used to date one of my BFF's and its just not like that with her. Also, she's not fat if that's what you're thinking. Flat butt. Cute enough.

 

I'm going to work out today even though I can barely walk with my quads being super tight from squatting on Monday. Was thinking about skipping until I stopped at the grocery to pick up some TP and was disgusted by the fat people I saw and reminded myself I'm one of them and need to not be.

 

#TeamAwesome

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feeling OK right now. figured out how to automate a decent amount of clicking in my job with vba, which I will finish and show someone tomorrow. this might lead to union heat which is mildly worrying but I don't care much. I can't tell if I will last long in this job, whether my miserableness is bleeding over from outside or this work really is just unbearably boring.

 

so now I am looking for ways to get back to KC, basically. suited, if your roomie situation changes, do let me know. I could probably do OK on $700/mo all-in. pending real maths and salary.

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sounds like some sweet smut. i'm all boned up over here.

 

i desperately need to get back in the gym. i'm talking tomorrow night i either go and get a little cardio done or i just go ahead and die of a heart attack right now.

 

Share a coffin? I'm almost at rock bottom.

 

 

ronny, how's your ass?

 

 

Unfortunately large. If I'm post shower and pre poop, surprisingly clean, thanks for asking.

 

Since we both post enough, we know how we're doing. I'm fat and lazy. You're a nutjob shutin with horrible priorities re: sports. Otherwise, tip top. These annoying trick or treaters are disturbing my peaceful evening. Getting older kids so far that aren't even trying with the costume, but you can't stiff em because who knows what they'll do. I mean, my car sticks out. It doesn't need eggs on it.

 

My dicks my dick, man. No action whatsoever. Shared a bed with a girl that's just friend this weekend. Luckily I was pretty hammered and didn't have to worry about any awkward (for her) boners. And before anybody says anything about missing an opportunity, she has a boyfriend she was texting in bed, she used to date one of my BFF's and its just not like that with her. Also, she's not fat if that's what you're thinking. Flat butt. Cute enough.

 

 

Nope, nobody was thinking You missed an opportunity.

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You're my fav(-orite Floridian), Mexi.

 

There's a picture that was just added to my fb that includes four of the people I've talked about lately.

 

-The girl who's like my BFF and I'm in love with her cousin and her boyfriend was my roommate

-said ex roommate; the one that's kinda crazy and needs to grow up

-the girl I slept in a bed with

-the girl whom I had/have a crush on throughout college and never made a move with.

-a random bro of ours.

 

See if you can identify who is who.

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i would let you know, buddy.

 

i'm fascinated by your knowledge of excel. i assume thats what you're talking about with automation. i really wish i'd learned that stuff in college or on my own or whatever.

yeah, I'm using vba (sendkeys) to do stuff with a webpage form that is tedious to fill out. this organization is both governmental and new, so inefficiency is particularly rampant.

 

I am fairly good at it, but nowhere near pro level yet.

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shake, how'd the house take the storm?

 

surprisingly well. we didn't get much more than a breeze here praise jesus. cold as shit here now though. so that sucks.

 

Flat butt.

 

ew. you made the right call.

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nappy I'd stuff each one of those girls and be proud of it.

 

dude on left is ex roommate. girl next to him is your college crush, next girl is the bed sleeper, next girl is ex roommate's girl/bff, dude on right is random bro.

 

edit: wait, god damn it, didn't see dudes arm at first. dude on right is exroommate, blonde is bff, middle girl is bed girl, left girl is college crush, dude on left is random bro. DONE.

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