Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19413

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

I think he meant "oh, that makes a lot of sense now. It's like somebody just hit a light switch in his head and turned on a light bulb.

 

Be more sensitive about the size of your weiner.

 

Don't ever let a woman hear you talk about a "weiner" if you want to get laid, Andy.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I think he meant "oh, that makes a lot of sense now. It's like somebody just hit a light switch in his head and turned on a light bulb.

 

Be more sensitive about the size of your weiner.

 

Don't think so man, he's doggin my junk

 

I'd be a lot more secure with myself if I had a huge weiner.

 

No you wouldn't, but it would be awesome if you had 10 inches of man meat. I'm not sure why that would make me happy, but it would. You'd have to either always pull it out, wear spandex and no undies at the bar or have a friend take a peek t it then always talk it up in front of women.

 

Ok, that's what I'd do

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd make sure anybody and everybody knew I had a 10 incher if I did, no homo.

 

I'm drunk.

 

Looks like you fail SuitedAces roommate test. How dare you imbibe on a Wednesday!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't talk to her for a long time because I was uncomfortable with hearing about the boy of the moment. I've since gotten over that.

 

I know. Just saying that I think it's cool you're talking now.

 

 

I think the 10" dick thing is overrated (easy for me to say since mine isn't) But, I've heard many women, upon seeing huge schlongs in porno's or even sex toys say they have no interest what so ever in getting poked with something that big. A friend of my wife's actually broke up with a guy because he was "too big". Said she was excited when she first saw it but that it was way to uncomfortable for all the time sex.

 

So we have that going for us.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone knows that the cool kids call him Drew...

 

 

 

So outta the blue all the sudden I have a hot rod shop. Well, really Ive always had one but its just been for me.Once in a while Id take on a small project for a close friend or someone who I had to get along with... family and stuff

 

 

 

Anyway, the last couple projects that came outta the shop have been quite the hit. That damn CRV thats haunted me for the last few weeks to name one. The CJfive that I bought last year for the kid for two. Three four and five are about to roll out but have been plauged by folks coming by all the time to look them over. So far in the last four days Ive been asked to build no less than six more over the winter....

 

 

 

A damn wrecker showed up this afternoon toting a eighties model chevy pickup.... I dont even remember who it belongs to. According to the kid and his buddy.... my unwanted voulenteer PR guys.... it is to be transformed into some sort of pro street machine

 

 

 

I dont really mind the idea of it.... hell.... it really is the one thing I look forward to doing besides getting plastered and making a fool of myself. The main problem is I know that once it steamrolls out of control Ill have to hire more deadbeats and supply them with beer

 

 

 

But oh the stories that I can tell...

 

 

 

So yeah... the wheels are already turning so to speak. All I need now besides several refills of perscription meds is a good name. Something way out there. Anti-politically correct as possible with a near nude gal as a logo... as in hide the kids eyes when you roll up behind the car and notice it

 

 

 

Suggestions?

 

 

 

Whatever it may be my PR guys want to fire up a youtube channel in that name to document the goings on. A private reality program that includes things that the masses actually want to see. Drinking, farting, explosions, police intervention, etc

 

 

 

Actual day to day stuff that you only hear about in funeral home waiting rooms...

 

 

 

I expect no less than two opinions

Link to post
Share on other sites

so wait, napa, was the phone interview one the one where they sent you a rejection email then a "hey, maybe!" email? I can't keep them straight.

 

It really is quite confusing.

 

Nah, brv knows that alcohol is really a placebo that has no effect on people if they don't let it.

 

Correct.

 

 

Everything Tilt posts still annoys me. I'm not sure if it's just me being unfairly critical or not. Whatever. At least I still have Beans for the Yin.

Link to post
Share on other sites

ooooh, goodness. if only people would get that. would be awesome.

 

Who wouldn't get it? You would just need a glass of scotch and a loud voice. (after teh turtle neck/blazer combo, of course)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Everything Tilt posts still annoys me. I'm not sure if it's just me being unfairly critical or not.

 

Really? Huh. I'm sorry to hear that. Though I'm pretty sure I could just post relevant bible versus as responses to each post and you'd still be annoyed. Whatever.

 

 

 

Beans' Power Stroked Rods

 

Las Vegas High Octane BLOWer Jobs

 

Beans' Raging Rods

 

Las Vegas Custom Rod Jobs

 

Beans Rods and Wenches

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...