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I Called In Sick Today


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man they're making fun of me at work for growing out my mustache :(

 

 

speaking of which, any ideas on a good movie/tv character with a mustache to go as for halloween? I had originally wanted to be bill lumburg but it's gonna be too expensive. now I really want to take advantage of this mustache but I'm not sure how. most all of the good options would be too tough to tell who it is (ron swanson) or too expensive (ron burgundy - I don't have a red blazer).

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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no idea who this character is and I guarantee nobody at work will

 

Too poor for even goodwill?

 

dude I'm in central virginia. the odds of a red blazer even remotely in my size being in any goodwill within a 100 mile radius between now and october 31st are are so small that if I wrote them on a piece of paper, ron mexico's penis' shadow could cover the entire odds. that one got away from me there. still though, ron mexico's penis is small.

 

Dennis Franz.

 

good idea. I'll go as a character from a tv show from 15 years ago that nobody watched. KEEP EM COMING SPEEDZ

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Obv

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someone at work (employee of 4 years) was discovered doing recon completely wrong and said to the department head, "if I have been doing this wrong for 6 months, why did you never catch it?"

 

trying to think of a worse response that doesn't include an over the top line like "... and I ****ed your mother"

 

needless to say, my employer took the opportunity to roll back the salary on his position by firing him and bringing in a temp literally the next day.

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So I woke up and went down to the wifes mad scientist lab to make a snack... figured I have a peanut butter and grape jelly on white with a side of cold milk

 

 

 

Believe it or not, not one ingredient was either present or edible in a third world country...

 

 

 

I suppose the kid could be performing a penicillin experiment with the bread for a class project so I shrugged it off. The jelly had me scratching my head for several minutes. Just how many years does it take for grape jelly to convert to wine anyway? The label was unreadable due to decomposition or wind damage due to the thousands of miles it traveled back and forth in the fridge door

 

 

 

I put it all back of course. Im sure sometime in the future one of you wine connoisseurs will come up with a meal that matches a super sweet grape with more than a hint of green mold to wash it down with...

 

 

 

I would ask shake how he ended up spending the night with a married gal at someone elses house but its probably best not to

 

I'm not sure why MY post is getting fixed but here it is...getting the fix.

 

It's nice how so many other(OTHER?(exclamation point excluded)) posters in this thread can turn a phrase, tell a good story, or come up with intensely creative ways to say something. So many posters in fact that sentences like in bold of the above post go by without any recognition what so ever. What a shame. The sentence is illustrative to the MAX which of course is short for MAXIMUM. It's the Mountain Dew commercial of illustrative writing so to speak. High octane and fully charged so that it sledge hammers home something everyone can relate to but in a way those of US who can't make a funny and can't write should truly appreciate.

 

To the BeansSickinfo2 post and all other posts worthy of true home run status that get lost in the static of mediocrity...cheers. [clinksglassesanddownsthefourthpseudolongislandicetea]

 

 

FYP

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no idea who this character is and I guarantee nobody at work will

 

 

 

dude I'm in central virginia. the odds of a red blazer even remotely in my size being in any goodwill within a 100 mile radius between now and october 31st are are so small that if I wrote them on a piece of paper, ron mexico's penis' shadow could cover the entire odds. that one got away from me there. still though, ron mexico's penis is small.

 

 

 

good idea. I'll go as a character from a tv show from 15 years ago that nobody watched. KEEP EM COMING SPEEDZ

 

First, it's That movie where Michael Cera played a good character and an evil one. The name escapes me. You should know it Mr. Cool.

 

My penis does just ok

 

I watched EVERY EPISODE of NYPD Blue. John Kelly, Jimmy Smits, Mark Paul Gosselear.

 

Not sure why I just didn't go David Caruso there, but I love a good John Kelly reference.

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check nielson buddy nobody's ever seen the show it's fact

 

 

 

my top ranking costume right now is kenny powers. problem is, I can't grow those connecting strips from the mustache to the goatee. I guess I could color them in or something, but hell, if I'm doing that then I might as well shave now, be comfortable, and use fake facial hair the day of. shit I don't know. this is so much to think about.

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Why are you so worried about coming up with a Halloween costume just so you can sit in your house alone, staring up at the stars, wishing the squirrel would come back so you had someone to talk to while posting about how miserable your life is on FTP that day?

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Shows what you know. That wasn't sarcasm.

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man they're making fun of me at work for growing out my mustache :(

 

 

speaking of which, any ideas on a good movie/tv character with a mustache to go as for halloween? I had originally wanted to be bill lumburg but it's gonna be too expensive. now I really want to take advantage of this mustache but I'm not sure how. most all of the good options would be too tough to tell who it is (ron swanson) or too expensive (ron burgundy - I don't have a red blazer).

The-Legacy-Collection-Lando-Calrissian-Skiff-Guard_Big_6.jpg

 

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ashley tisdale doing a little work on sons of anarchy. google her for a good time. she might be one of the hottest chicks i've looked at in a long time. the blood RUSHED to my power source.

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strat, when we're living together i hope you'd never go out drinking on a tuesday and come back at 3:30 in the morning with one of your idiot friends and some dirty whore and make a whole hell of a racket and wake me up from a sound sleep. and then keep making a lit of noise as though it's an appropriate time to party in the living room, which makes me have to be the ******* and come out of my room and tell the three of you to shut the **** up. that would be pretty uncool man.

 

i mean seriously who does shit like this?

 

and now of course i can't get back to sleep. i'm on the verge of insanity here.

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