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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Had a couple Dog Fish head 90s. Much better without the bourbon beer after taste. Also had a few Captain Morgan, blended strawberry/banana daiquiri type drinks that the hot asians husband made. They weren't bad. I pawned off a White Ale to him, I think he got lit off of it.

 

I roasted some fingerlings and yams tonight with salt pepper and nutmeg, turned out great.

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Oh, you beer guys will like this. I'm drinking tonight. A Busch Light. It taste's ok. It's really more cold than anything. 8/10.

this was hilarious. and I want to watch dogs pick up ducks. sounds dirty. I guess. I'm drunk. buddy and I lost a four wheeler in the woods looking for a coon. guess that happens.

 

oh, and married broad just came by and we banged. wasn't expecting that. apparently she was out picking up food for her kids who were home alone so she said she had to be quick. haha, she shouldn't have said that to me.

 

 

edit: seriously, two minutes tops.

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Someone should do an in depth study on beer.... maybe its just me, but the first time or two I try some of those funny named brews they kick my ass pretty good. In like upper single digit amounts instead of box quantities

 

 

 

In never fails though.... start buying the stuff pretty regular and its like drinking water. Its a conspiracy. Somehow they are programming the alcohol to have less and less positive influence on the ole noggin so you have to buy more and more....

 

 

 

Thats why I switch brands so often. A few months back it was bud light limes.... I actually drank an eighteen pack without one slurred word. Nuthin

 

 

 

After those it was Dosxx... amber then lager. Couple thirty two mugs and I was doing burnouts in the neighborhood at three am. Few weeks later it was just kidney excersises

 

 

 

 

Anyone else notice this or am I just such an advanced drinker that Ive entered a new dimension of organ abuse?

 

 

 

 

Anyhoo....speaking of booze.... Im heading back to the dragstrip for a little scouting for the upcoming fall season. Leaving in the am with a full cooler. May stop at the bass pro shops main headquarters and buy a few overpriced items along the way.

 

 

 

 

I was almost banned from there a few seasons back for supposedly drinking and racing. The track "investigator" interviewed a few witnesses for the defense and dropped the charges but insisted that I sit out the last race just in case. Out of the five guys backing my story four were using canos

 

 

 

Hard to believe but I had quicker reaction times seeing two timing trees...

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oh and god damn dan in real life sucked dead dog asshole. seriously ron, that movie was terrible. that foreign bitch just needs to die or some shit. come on bro.

 

 

ol/dr'd by beans. worst possible scenario. but I'll make the best of it: SERIOUSLY!?! what the hell is up with bass pro shops??? they have like a 200% mark up on every other store ever and people still go there. I don't get it. eff those guys.

 

 

and I've drank the equivalent of 20 beers tonight if you're wondering. god, sex is weird. but grizzly bear is a good band.

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I roasted some fingerlings and yams tonight with salt pepper and nutmeg, turned out great.

 

It's nearly 4am and my eyes are blurry so I read this as you finger blasted the Asian whore

 

 

this was hilarious. and I want to watch dogs pick up ducks. sounds dirty. I guess. I'm drunk. buddy and I lost a four wheeler in the woods looking for a coon. guess that happens.

 

oh, and married broad just came by and we banged. wasn't expecting that. apparently she was out picking up food for her kids who were home alone so she said she had to be quick. haha, she shouldn't have said that to me.

 

 

edit: seriously, two minutes tops.

 

I hope that as you came, you threw your hands up and yelled "TA DAAAA" and asked if that was fast enough.

 

oh and god damn dan in real life sucked dead dog asshole. seriously ron, that movie was terrible. that foreign bitch just needs to die or some shit. come on bro.

 

and I've drank the equivalent of 20 beers tonight if you're wondering.

 

I'm gonna give you a pass since you're drunk and in the afterglow of some vagina but Dan In Real Life is a FANTASTIC love story. I guess next you're gonna tell me that Love Actually isn't brilliant and that Notting Hill is shit.

 

Seriously, don't fcking do it because if you do, I'll come to VA and lean on your house and KNOCK IT OVER.

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Aw man, the car chase guy just gave up. Lame.

 

If by "gave up" you mean "killed himself on live TV" then you're right.

 

sounds like a real cool guy.

 

 

 

 

not.

 

I laughed out loud when I read the first sentence. Then sighed and rolled my eyes when I read the 'not'. Don't ruin good jokes.

 

Suited, you seem like an awful twat.

i'm the twat for being upset...

 

Yes. Ron is right.

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one of my friends suggested the move. it's been what, 2-3 weeks that I have talked to this girl, who's to say she won't go back to being nothing in another 2-3 weeks? that was my response, anyway.

 

I think you should probably talk longer than 2 weeks before moving across country to date an internet friend.

 

CSL is on. Just sayin

 

Don't know what this means, but Notting Hill is amazing.

 

1. On the bright side I just saved you 10% of your gross income.

 

Jews and Mormons are required by their religions to give 10%. Nothing in the New Testament says anything about 10%.

 

renee zelwiger was quite the surf board in me myself and irene.

 

MMI is a good movie.

 

SERIOUSLY!?! what the hell is up with bass pro shops??? they have like a 200% mark up on every other store ever and people still go there. I don't get it. eff those guys.

 

Agreed on most things, but the other day, I actually found a campfire grill that was the same price as on Amazon, so I picked it up.*

 

*the other day was June 2011.

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Jews and Mormons are required by their religions to give 10%. Nothing in the New Testament says anything about 10%.

 

 

Toe May Toe, Ta Mato. So the old testament doesn't count anymore? That's convenient.

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Toe May Toe, Ta Mato. So the old testament doesn't count anymore? That's convenient.

 

don't even get started down this road. brvy will get all biblically technical and DJ will defend his arguments and not his beliefs and i'll just get angry. it's been done many times over the years.

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Toe May Toe, Ta Mato. So the old testament doesn't count anymore? That's convenient.

 

It SURE IS! Except of the faggot stuff. That still counts, AM I RIGHT GUYS!

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brv you worse than the honey boo boo piece of shit

 

 

I only talk like iron shiek from now on or go fuck yourself

 

 

(seriously though if you're not following him on twitter then your life is nowhere near complete)

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brv you have the shriveled jose canseco raisin balls

 

I don't understand what I said that made you specifically talk about my balls.

 

ps. Nice work on the sex.

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don't even get started down this road. brvy will get all biblically technical and DJ will defend his arguments and not his beliefs and i'll just get angry. it's been done many times over the years.

 

Naw. I only try to carefully explain the path to salvation to people that I want to spend eternity with.

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don't even get started down this road. brvy will get all biblically technical and DJ will defend his arguments and not his beliefs and i'll just get angry. it's been done many times over the years.

 

Noted.

 

Ps. That's not entirely accurate. I would be happy if Tilt got saved.

 

Awww

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brv you worse than the honey boo boo piece of shit

 

 

I only talk like iron shiek from now on or go fuck yourself

 

 

(seriously though if you're not following him on twitter then your life is nowhere near complete)

 

I've seen some retweets from him and I do laugh.

 

I miss following someone that would put up naked photos of themselves. Shake, will you fill that void for me?

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