Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

I should be featured member any day now!today's my last day on my current team at work (shut up speedz). hope one of the girls gives me a going away blow job. that's a thing right?

Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah no blow jobs unfortunately, but a bunch of people did decorate my desk with ribbons and streamers and balloons and stuff. it was a very nice sentiment, though I suspect it was less "congratulations" and more "gtfo." also: currently pooping one of the biggest poops of my life. I don't remember eating this much.

Link to post
Share on other sites

i see how it is, i'm a leper now. well **** you guys then. although i did just dominate a practice essay on corporations. you better believe a nigga just pierced that corporate veil. but yeah if i actually pass this thing it will be the first time i've done anything in my life i'll actually be proud of.

Link to post
Share on other sites
we had some practice problems in class this morning. i got 24 of 50 correct. looks like i won't be putting cane to shame.
I don't know, I bet you can still score 19/50 on your next try. PPE: I'm sure you'll do fine.
Link to post
Share on other sites
i see how it is, i'm a leper now. well **** you guys then. although i did just dominate a practice essay on corporations. you better believe a nigga just pierced that corporate veil. but yeah if i actually pass this thing it will be the first time i've done anything in my life i'll actually be proud of.
Thats really.....sad
Link to post
Share on other sites
I was too bad mannered and crazy to feature before.not sure that anything has changed about me since then, so I have no explanation.
A little late on this but I enjoyed your story....once I was able to quit looking at that girls ass along the right side of the page.
oh yeah, well i had sex with your wife.
Well that explains why she woke up talking about shrimp recipes this morning.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Guy: What was all that talk about shrimp recipes?Girl: Oh, well I had sex with another guy.Guy: ...Girl: He had a small penis.Guy: In that case, it totally doesn't bother me at all!

Link to post
Share on other sites
god damn it ocho that was my joke. except I was just going to say "detroit fan" because I had no idea that the team was the tigers.so you got him cutting the grass yet? I have to imagine so since I can't think of any other reason to have a kid. but even if not, congrats and such.
Best moments of fatherhood were the first times I said,"son, grab me a beer outta the fridge""son, pick me up a 12-pack on your way home"
I should be featured member any day now!today's my last day on my current team at work (shut up speedz). hope one of the girls gives me a going away blow job. that's a thing right?
I hope some girl patted you on the ass and said, "good job".
Link to post
Share on other sites
Be Danny Devito from Other People's Money.Has anyone here seen that movie? It's like a poor man's Wall Street, but I liked it a lot.
I liked it. Although I haven't seen it for like 25 years.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Don't be a bitch Essay.
whenever someone tells me not to be a bitch i laugh. mainly because it makes me think of jonah hill in 'get him to the greek' when he is trying to keep aldous snow from smoking and drinking in the car and jonah takes huge hits and drinks and aldous complains and jonah is like 'don't be a bitch dude.' i always laugh at that one. just the way jonah says it; very funny indeed.i think my motto for this thing will be borrowed from alec baldwin in GGGR: are you going to pass? i know you are because its **** or walk.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Guy: What was all that talk about shrimp recipes?Girl: Oh, well I had sex with another guy.Guy: ...Girl: He had a small penis.Guy: In that case, it totally doesn't bother me at all!
Eh, mostly It was a "you have a small dick" joke, stolen from a cartoon in Playboy from years ago, but that's close enough.What the hell is going on with the weather in the NorthWest this year?? June damned 6 and it's 48 degrees and raining. I have a whole crowd of inlaws on their way here for my daughters graduation Friday and the thought of being stuck inside with all of them is.....horrifying.
Link to post
Share on other sites

I just want the best for you, Homie. That's what it finally came down to for me with the CPA, not that it's as hard as the bar. Just f'n sit down and do it. You didn't spend the past six years of your life doing bullshit just to puss out at the end. You won't be mad that you overstudied like that C I work with was when she found out what I got on Audit.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...