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I Called In Sick Today


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oh no the kids weren't anywhere close. fifty feet at all times. and of course I didn't get her number. not only because I'm a pussy with staggeringly low self esteem, but also because we work together and that would be weird.

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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oh no the kids weren't anywhere close. fifty feet at all times.and of course I didn't get her number. not only because I'm a pussy with staggeringly low self esteem, but also because we work together and that would be weird.
Yeah, but if banging interns is good enough for a POTUS it's good enough for you, amirite??
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wait, you guys actually think I'm eventually going to ask her out? that would be a horrible idea. work is like the last place I have where people don't know how terrible I am at life. last thing I need to do is let somebody here in on that, especially a hot girl. you people and your advice, I tell ya.

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wait, you guys actually think I'm eventually going to ask her out? that would be a horrible idea. work is like the last place I have where people don't know how terrible I am at life. last thing I need to do is let somebody here in on that, especially a hot girl. you people and your advice, I tell ya.
Of course we don't. And if you did it would ruin all the fun of giving you crap for your lack of skills with the ladies.
They know, Shake, they know.
Hahaha
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well if it makes you guys feel any better I did talk to her today. complained about my back being sore then made a corey hart joke so that's probably the end of that.

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You know who Corey Hart is?Is there another Coret Hart?
A) I cant see that you posted without thinking "cough cough cough cough cough" get the therafluB) ha, I had the same thought. No way he means the baseball player, right? I think there's also a motorcycle dude by that name? Does he mean the "sunglasses at night" guy? Does he say something about back pain in that song? Does he have another song I don't know? What's a horse shoe? What does a horse shoe do? Are there such things as horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?
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There is this burrito place near where I work that makes pretty good food. It's kind of recent chain; they've been based in santa barbara for a long time but recently expanded all over so cal.However, there is a major problem with this place that might limit how often I can go there: apparently they have trained up the staff to be super friendly and to make small talk with you while they make their burrito.Unlike Chipotle, where the workers hand the burrito off as it goes down the line, at this place one person walks with you all the way down the line adding what you want to the burrito. They always start out with the same stupid small-talk line, which is how I know they've been trained to do it.burritista: Soooo, how's your day goin'??vb: Was going well until I realized you were going to do this to me. Fine.burritista: Workin hard today?vb: just stop. Yepp.burritista: Cheddar or Monterrey Jack?vb: cheddar.burritista: Lookin' forward to the long weekend?vb: Oh come on. Guess so!burritista: Yeah, I mean its good for people who don't have to work that day!vb: you're really not going to stop are you, even though I've only given one word answers and keep looking at my phone. I give up. Oh you working that day?

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sunglasses at night is a pretty pimp song. if she didn't get a reference to that or make one herself at the mention of corey hart then we have our answer on this one. unless she has a nice ass, then who cares what she says, AM I RIGHT? HI FIVE.

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Haha, way to show her what a manly man you are shake!Yeah, sorry 3 minutes of your day was ruined by someone trying to be friendly to you VB. Them the breaks, you know?

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You obviously don't know what it's like to be an introvert.
I'm with you. That sounds like hell. I haven't been to a gas station on my way to work for months now because the cashier lady who worked mornings was getting a little to conversational with me.
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There is this burrito place near where I work that makes pretty good food. It's kind of recent chain; they've been based in santa barbara for a long time but recently expanded all over so cal.However, there is a major problem with this place that might limit how often I can go there: apparently they have trained up the staff to be super friendly and to make small talk with you while they make their burrito.Unlike Chipotle, where the workers hand the burrito off as it goes down the line, at this place one person walks with you all the way down the line adding what you want to the burrito. They always start out with the same stupid small-talk line, which is how I know they've been trained to do it.burritista: Soooo, how's your day goin'??vb: Was going well until I realized you were going to do this to me. Fine.burritista: Workin hard today?vb: just stop. Yepp.burritista: Cheddar or Monterrey Jack?vb: cheddar.burritista: Lookin' forward to the long weekend?vb: Oh come on. Guess so!burritista: Yeah, I mean its good for people who don't have to work that day!vb: you're really not going to stop are you, even though I've only given one word answers and keep looking at my phone. I give up. Oh you working that day?
Couldn't you just be proactive and start asking them really weird science related questions? I mean, don't get annoyed. Have fun with it. Introverted or not, it's going to happen, so you might as well take control and make them answer the questions. Another thing you could do it start asking questions about their family or friends... something that will make them take a pause.
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