I Called In Sick Today

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

listen here pervert. don't project your pederastic qualities onto me. I LIKE WOMEN. ADULT WOMEN.but i mean come on that voice is silky smooth.

[speedz99 145]

Explains the military thing too.

Such a good story. I mean, not funny, obviously, but good nonetheless. I hope the Air Force thing worked out well.Sometimes I feel a fleeting curiosity about how Wang's life is going.

jesus you just want to bang every guy there is don't you?

Boy, you mean.

[iClint 61]

Man, that chick not texting me back is really messing withmy already super low self-esteem. Thanks a lot speedz. Also. Drunk.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

Man, that chick not texting me back is really messing withmy already super low self-esteem. Thanks a lot speedz. Also. Drunk.

this is why you never put yourself out there.

[iClint 61]

this is why you never put yourself out there.

Right?!?

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

you wanna learn something from it? don't wait six months next time. bam. date.

[speedz99 145]

You waited 6 months, so I'm pretty sure she's allowed some leeway here. Secondofly, you waited 6 months, so it's not like this is some girl you were madly in love with. We need to figure out a way to make you ok with rejection/things not working out how you want them to, since that's what happens sooner or later with most women. I think it's great you gave it a shot. Next time it'll be easier.

[loogie 115]

What did the text say?I would have gone with: It's been six months since you gave me your number, and I want to apologize for taking so long to hit you up. I only meant to wait five. Did I blow it? Too late for drinks?

[speedz99 145]

Yeah, that's better.

[brvheart 1,752]

You waited 6 months, so I'm pretty sure she's allowed some leeway here. Secondofly, you waited 6 months, so it's not like this is some girl you were madly in love with. We need to figure out a way to make you ok with rejection/things not working out how you want them to, since that's what happens sooner or later with most women. I think it's great you gave it a shot. Next time it'll be easier.

Napa, read that part again.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

napa, I don't know if you ever saw some of the girls r. mexico has nailed, but I have, and lots of them looked well out of his league. I don't mean it to be insulting of course, but I mean, he's not dreamy looking. none of us really are, ok? he did it by being confident, smart, and funny. you have two of those already and the third is easily acquired. there is literally no reason you can't replicate what he does with women.

[brvheart 1,752]

Man, that chick not texting me back is really messing withmy already super low self-esteem. Thanks a lot speedz. Also. Drunk.

It is helps any, I just explained the situation to Mrs. brvheart, and she feels really bad that the girl is a jerk. She also mentioned that she always found you to be funny and entertaining and didn't see you as shy at all. When I first mentioned your name in relation to a girl, she said, "Is he getting married?", so clearly she feels that you have the tools to win at this game. Listen to Strat. Go to the gym. Get some confidence, and let your guard down.**This post brought to you by Mrs. brvheart's command to be encouraging.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

just thought of a better way to put it without insulting ron m. though I'm not going back to edit that out. if you want evidence of the number of smoking hot girls out there who have literally no self-esteem whatsoever, look at all the "I just got dumped / stood up / whatever" posts that crop up on /r/gonewild, just begging for male attention.lots of girls are just insecure and looking for someone confident. true story, our culture sucks.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

if only it were just that easy.

[brvheart 1,752]

It might not be "easy", but it's definitely "simple". Confidence = chicks.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

That Korean dude is going to be so skinny!And other assorted comments on lost quoted posts.

[brvheart 1,752]

Hannah, The Limey

These are not on netflix and I can't find them anywhere streaming online. So this means you haven't done your duty.

Man on FireRoninThe Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

I've seen the first two and I like them both, so good job. I think you're joking with the 3rd one.

[Sickinfo2 291]

I found this story that includes traveling upstate, job orientation, and rain, but no farting in closets.

Now that I think more about it, the closet part probably came from the fact that he lived in one during the breakup story...I have also slept in a closet but never on purpose

napa, I don't know if you ever saw some of the girls r. mexico has nailed, but I have, and lots of them looked well out of his league. I mean, he's not dreamy lookingthere is literally no reason you can't replicate what he does with women.

Cliffs notes just in case Chris misses it the first time around...

It is helps any, I just explained the situation to Mrs. brvheart, and she feels really bad that the girl is a jerk.

I didnt of course, but lets pretend that I explained the situation to Shane..."Bitch probably dead....lots can happen in six months. Maybe thatll cheer the poor slob up""Relationships, much like my ill fated suicide attempt using peanut butter and cheese, usually dont end up well. Both tend to invoke major strain on a fellow for what seems like an eternity with relief only when the shit finally ends"-Beans N. IcewaterI should put that on a bumper sticker....

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

figure out what makes you awesome and embrace it. in my situation, I took way too long to realize that being insightful, funny, etc. was something that could play really well with the ladies. obviously we see what happened with LG. my experience at the bank with all the girls in my age group drove the point home. you are awesome. believe it. you don't even need to go out of your way to advertise it. girls are VERY good at picking up on these things.I was just going through all the girls I knew at the bank in my head as I wrote this. there was this one girl, maybe 29 or so. always went out of her way to talk to or email me, a little more than just friendly. speedz-thin with a solid A cup, but ohmygod her makeup. why would you think being pale white with infinite eye shadow (raccoon look?) is acceptable? I could never be seen with that in public.

[Nashtak 0]

I set my alarm for 4am to watch this korean starcraft tournament this morning. the reason: this non-korean guy is making a run in it (something that almost never happens), and he is hilarious and awkward.here are some images of him from various points in time:after tonight's winthe double fistpumpraaaaaagethe shoulder brushbad manners, walkingsome of the samehe went 4-0, really gave it to 'em

I prefer HuK

[ShakeZuma 585]

Man, that chick not texting me back is really messing withmy already super low self-esteem. Thanks a lot speedz. Also. Drunk.

this is why you never put yourself out there.

yeah I don't know what everybody else is talking about, this is the correct answer right here. women only pretend to like your charmingness and confidence for long enough to get inside and crush your soul. that's why they exist.

if only it were just that easy.

yeah I always love hearing the advice "just be confident!" gee thanks tony robbins I'm glad you have the ability to change your most ingrained personality traits that you've had since you were 4 but it's not as easy for other people assface.edit: this sounds especially mean and directed towards posters in this thread; it's not. it's more towards a person I know in real life. hell, maybe a few.on an additional woeisshake note: just got my fourth and final rejection letter from the most promising company in a real city, which basically meant "please stop applying as it ain't gonna happen" so there's that. you guys are terrible at giving advice. if you had just told me to give up on life 5 years ago we'd all be much better off.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

napa, I don't know if you ever saw some of the girls r. mexico has nailed, but I have, and lots of them looked well out of his league. I don't mean it to be insulting of course, but I mean, he's not dreamy looking. none of us really are, ok? he did it by being confident, smart, and funny. you have two of those already and the third is easily acquired. there is literally no reason you can't replicate what he does with women.

What the

just thought of a better way to put it without insulting ron m. though I'm not going back to edit that out. if you want evidence of the number of smoking hot girls out there who have literally no self-esteem whatsoever, look at all the "I just got dumped / stood up / whatever" posts that crop up on /r/gonewild, just begging for male attention.lots of girls are just insecure and looking for someone confident. true story, our culture sucks.

tooooo late

Cliffs notes just in case Chris misses it .

thank you Beansey. SheeeeshBut he's right. Maslow, remember to be funny AND add alcohol occasionally

[iClint 61]

Brv, your wife is just a really nice personStrat, you forgot to mention how modest you are. Et al...great work. I realize my timing was a liiiiittle off on this one, but it was a lot of just I really needed to be concentrating on the CPA and driving an hour back and forth would have been both costly and time sucking. Lame excuse, I know. Plus she probably wasn't even that into me in the first place. If we're being brutally honest i think we can all agree I need a solid 3 months of hard working out/dieting. RM can make the big guy thing work for him, but I can't. Shake...can't a young nigga get money anymore? I had a sixer of bud light premiums at the bar with some coworkers yesterday after H4H. Literally drank their last six and then heard some guy get a little pissed about them being out of them. Thought that was funny. Strat I was joking about the modesty thing, too. You're a good egg and the advice is appreciated.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

shake, do you not remember my posts from years ago, like maybe 2007 or earlier? I was not a confident person. then I logged a bunch of time talking to people, found out that most are two-dimensional and haven't put much thought into any of their opinions, that most go around regurgitating things smarter people have told them, etc.I know for a fact that I'm not writing anything you don't already know. so why aren't you just as arrogant about how fucking hard you crush the average guy?I'm totally working on situps and pushups now. feels good. I can only do like 15 pushups and 20 situps at a time, sure hoping I can increase those totals soon.

[DJ Vu 176]

These are not on netflix and I can't find them anywhere streaming online. So this means you haven't done your duty.

I don't remember you stipulating that in our contract.

there was this one girl, maybe 29 or so. always went out of her way to talk to or email me, a little more than just friendly. speedz-thin with a solid A cup, but ohmygod her makeup. why would you think being pale white with infinite eye shadow (raccoon look?) is acceptable? I could never be seen with that in public.

...is what I'm picturing.

shake, do you not remember my posts from years ago, like maybe 2007 or earlier?

I do!