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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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If that cat's not at the vet at 7am, Speeds is gonna be pissed.
Don't get me started.
I'm bros with two of the dudes in audit.
Worst name drop ever.
so what would you do with 272 million bucks?
Sadly, I know exactly what I'd do. I've spent way too much time in my life imagining what I"d do in that situation. Suffice it to say, you'd get nothing and like it.
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So, now I have a new problem with having to bro-nod at work. Went out for drinks with our audit dept a few weeks ago and so now I'm bros with two of the dudes in audit. Problem is they are in the row of cubes just north of my cube row and they're both freakishly tall and seem to always be standing and so now whenever I get up from my desk I inevitably make eye contact with at least one of them since they're both taller than the cube walls. And do now its like, how many times do we have to acknowledge this? Once? Twice? Dependent on the time since last acknowledgement? Ugh, why did I ever decide getting to know co-workers would be a good idea. This is all Shakes fault somehow, I know it.
this is pretty easy and it's a standard workplace situation. In the meantime you just have to deal and play it by ear. next time you go out for drinks or lunch or you're in a neutral area (kitchen, hallway, etc) you smoothly bring this subject up (e.g. somehow height comes into the conversation and you mention them being taller than their cubes blah blah blah). Before you're finished with your sentence about the awkwardness, their eyes will light up and possibly you will be interrupted with acknowledgement on the subject. you will laugh it off and whereas before this conversation it was an awkward thing, it will now become a "thing". possibly you will take this "thing" too far but just be cool. look at me. look at me.
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annoying workplace interactions are unstoppable. the wait at the copy machine is also ripe for awkward moments. especially when the hot chick from down the hall is looking sexy and i'm me and i won't stop staring no matter how obvious.

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annoying workplace interactions are unstoppable. the wait at the copy machine is also ripe for awkward moments. especially when the hot chick from down the hall is looking sexy and i'm me and i won't stop staring no matter how obvious.
The best day of my life is when I realized this was me, and realized I didn't care all at the same time.
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The best day of my life is when I realized this was me, and realized I didn't care all at the same time.
if I ever realized that I was suited then I'd think that would be the worst day of my life
honest answer time, did you think this was clever
haha
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honest answer time, did you think this was clever
haSo did anybody win the moneys? Did they do the drawing or whatever it is they do? How come everybody is talking about it? Is it a national lottery or something?
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haSo did anybody win the moneys? Did they do the drawing or whatever it is they do? How come everybody is talking about it? Is it a national lottery or something?
Nobody won because the drawing is tonight. And yes, it's a national thing. MegaMillions, 45? states.
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Holy hell...I laughed so hard last night I ruptured blood vessels in both eyesLuckily my doc buddy was with us and pronounced it as being minor...I'm now referred to as "red eye flight"He prescribed eye drops and casino rest for a few daysAs soon as I find out what was so funny I'll share it with allRegards,

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well i left work early because i finished my current assignment and the boss was gone.i came home and watched the office on netflix. i just ate some cheese puffs which were very good. i washed the cheese puffs down with coca cola.now i'm thinking i might take a nap before a big friday night of doing nothing. thanks for asking shake.

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