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I Called In Sick Today


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Just had a great idea while at the urinal. Nope. Not exactly. Get this.... A drinking game based on battleship. I don't have all the fine details worked out at the moment but the basics will be shot glasses on each side, limes floating in them to represent the ships, and that's about it The rest will be very similar to the board game...Stay tuned

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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beans is better than anybody that's ever lived. and I just hung out with the first girl I loved and her husband. baller. I would prefer to be beans.maybe gonna go to arkansas and blow stuff up soon.edit: too much personal info in this post. shit.

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oh my god she just called me wanting to hang out tonight. she said her fucking HUSBAND would drive us around. jesus christ. she was on the god damn phone with me with her HUSBAND IN THE CAR saying "I just want us to hand out like old times haha" are you kidding me?edit: texting me again. fuck me in the goat ass.

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reminds me of the time a few girls from my dorm dragged my roommate (male) out with them to a party at a fraternity house. NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION IS MAKING ANY SENSE.

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you're a pussy magnet strat. fucking idiotic.edit: I'm pretending I didn''t see the last text. nigga gotta sleep. seriously though, if her husband wasn't with her.... I don't do weird shit.

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Hey Shake, let us all know how the sword crossing goes!Happy New Year all.

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