Sickinfo2 291 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I took today off because I specifically knew I needed to cut grass and wouldn't be able to yesterday. haven't cut a god damned thing and it doesn't look like it's going to happen now. I just hate cutting grass so much. I guess I need to get married so I can appreciate the 5 hours of deafening noise and high temperatures just as an excuse to be alone. either that or get married to a woman that'll cut the grass.hahahaI really wish I could figure out how to multiquote with this phone...First off, sal is one step away from being married...He just needs a wifeGiap is terminalThat is all... Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 In other news, we have varmints. A family of 7 Racoons are breaking into the patio to get the cats food. They get in through the cat door, or obv if the doors are left open. On the property the pool area is fenced in, which is pretty secure, except the rear gate is one of those crappy plastic decorative things and it's broken. So they are getting in through there.Got your rabies shots?yeah but I mean you essentially cheated by getting one that was genetically predisposed to yard work.I'm going to go ahead and say that this is one of the better lines written around here in the past few years. Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 ...:and anyone married as long as ole Beans will appreciate having a close accquantience such as TonyWhy?Because there is a very fine line between sanity and...Yeah...Guys like him is the buffer In other news...I've gotten to the point of being able to driving a cop down the road completely waxed without repercussion He no more than departed the kids jeep before I pissed on his wife's flower bed...We are having a BBQ on Friday Please don't try this at home folks Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Got your rabies shots?I'm going to go ahead and say that this is one of the better lines written around here in the past few years.Do I at least get credit for the Ally? Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 In other news, we have varmints. A family of 7 Racoons are breaking into the patio to get the cats food. Things are big too. The babies are probably 15-20 lbs. The mommy was as big as medium sized dog. Like Australian Shepard or something. Also, I have moles. They are destroying my fairly new lawn.Installing garage door openers. - Whoever designed those apparatuses should die a slow death. There has to be an easier way, that doesn't have 150 different screws and bolts, to put them together. Going home to put in a princess fan tonight. That should be fun.Once you get rid of the food source the coons will move on. I had a pair squatting on the property a while back screwing with the bird feeder and trash cansOnce I stole one of those fancy cans furnished by the city thats too big to turn over and reinforced the feeders they moved on...The moles can be dealt with by purchasing a few "mole chasers"They work great to heard the little bastards over to your neighbors yard. Two things though... if you buy the dildo model above, make sure and bury the thing all the way in the ground so the cap doesn't get sheared off by the mower. I ruined three or four that wayAnd be sure to measure from a fixed object like a tree or something from two directions to the center of each one. The batteries last about six months and in that time you will forget where they are. Spending an afternoon staggering around the yard with a metal detector will be in your future if you dontI have one of the solar versions but they are a pain to mow around so it lives in the wifes flower bed Try installing one of them between floors in a house serving as a dumb waiter engine...Contracts of hops and barley skyrocketed during that projectprincess fan"..."It takes a lot longer when you have to manoeuvre around all the trucks on blocks and discarded septic tanks and such.Plus the time involved in mowing the inside of the dog pen...In other news, I stumbled across an item at a convenience store in Vegas a couple weeks ago, bought it as a joke, and as a result has almost cured five heavy smokers of their addictions. Hard to believe, I realize. Ill type up a full report after sweeping up a few morning to-dos. Yeah, Im lookin at you Sal. Prepare to toss in the ole lighter Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 585 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 well I am looking for any and all suggestions to save money since it looks like after this coming up weekend, there's about a 50/50 shot I won't have a house anymore. my roof leaks during a regular storm, pretty sure there's no way it's making it out of a category 3. Link to post Share on other sites
Napa Lite 3,278 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 well I am looking for any and all suggestions to save money since it looks like after this coming up weekend, there's about a 50/50 shot I won't have a house anymore. my roof leaks during a regular storm, pretty sure there's no way it's making it out of a category 3.I'll buy one of the thirty pairs of ray bans you have if you need some cash. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Do I at least get credit for the Ally?You did who to my what now?well I am looking for any and all suggestions to save money since it looks like after this coming up weekend, there's about a 50/50 shot I won't have a house anymore. my roof leaks during a regular storm, pretty sure there's no way it's making it out of a category 3.Do you not have insurance?I'll buy one of the thirty pairs of ray bans you have if you need some cash.Heh. Link to post Share on other sites
Dawson Leery 12 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Do you not have insurance?I believe this would be like totaling a car.Insurance Agent: "I'm sorry Shake, but the storm did $9 worth of damage. We're just gonna have to tear her down." Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I believe this would be like totaling a car.Insurance Agent: "I'm sorry Shake, but the storm did $9 worth of damage. We're just gonna have to tear her down.""Oh, sorry, you're right, it is already torn down. I just mean we'll have to remove the rubble." Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 yeah no insurance. just never seemed worth it plus Im not sure it's even insurable. how much does homeowners ins cost anyways? Link to post Share on other sites
CaneBrain 95 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 yeah no insurance. just never seemed worth it plus Im not sure it's even insurable. how much does homeowners ins cost anyways?If your roof is falling apart? Quite a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 yeah thats kinda what I figured. "hey, there's a hurricane coming and my roof is probably going to blow off, can I have some insurance?" ..."sure! $10,000 please." Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Do you really not have insurance or is this just schtick? Insurancce is just based on the cost to replace the property. So in your case, it's going to be like 5 bucks a month. Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I don't do schticks. the depressing details of my life that I share here are as real as it gets. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 This is an opportunity...a chance to build a real house. We can all come down there and help you for a week, it'll be like Habitat for Humanity. A Shack for Shake.Except me, I can't make it that week. But I'll be there in spirit! Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Hey Shake, at least you won't have to worry about your house coming down in the hurricane! Link to post Share on other sites
SBriand 4 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Hey Shake, at least you won't have to worry about your house coming down in the hurricane!lol I was just coming to say something similar. Felt it all the way in Detroit and some of the hockey guys in Toronto felt it. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 5.8 earthquake in Virginia felt in Washington, New York City, North CarolinaIs this possible because of the underground railroad? Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 well if anything maybe it shook all the god damn black widows out. wait, now they're probably agitated and roaming around... crap... man I can't wait til this hurricane drowns them! Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 well if anything maybe it shook all the god damn black widows out. wait, nowzthey're probably agitated and roaming around... crap... man I can't wait til this hurricane drowns them!Dude, just come live with me already. It'll be like perfect strangers! You'll be the freak from an ass-backwards foreign land with a ridiculous accent, and I'll be the jew. Link to post Share on other sites
RhinestoneCowboy 2 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Don't be ridiculous... Link to post Share on other sites
CindyLou 11 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Can I come live with you guys too? It will be like My Two Dads.Edit: I think I just insulted my mom. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Can I come live with you guys too? It will be like My Two Dads.Edit: I think I just insulted my mom.Well if you move to Shake's house it would be more like 3 Men and a Baby. Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 764 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I just want to make note of the fact that more than one person In my office said in all seriousness "I wonder if that had anything to do with that hurricane out there?!" and yes, they all make way more than I do. Link to post Share on other sites
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