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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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still hate you speedz.
I don't believe you.
wow do you always try this hard to be funny?I'm kind of new here but all I know about you for sure is you recently got out of prison, and act like you understand logic (blog forum). Why are you trying so hard? You must be a lib. Here's a hint for you.......... you aren't as funny or as smart as you think you are. not by a long shot buddy.
I don't think I've ever written this phrase before, probably because I hate it, but it's too appropriate not to use: epic fail.
I agree. In fact, depending on who you talk to, Tactical Bear in this thread is no laughing matter or a laughingstock.
Heh.
new developments! 20 year old apparently has a boyfriend. lawd.
Wait, you know this girl? I assumed she was someone you had never seen before and would never see again. But I guess everyone's related down there...
Also I am engaging a joke account what is wrong with me?
It's not a joke account, it's a joke account. Pretty sure you said that wrong in your head. And of course it's Silent Snow, still upset at being out-logicked, or whatever the hell happened in that thread. Oh fuck. I just looked back, and I'm pretty sure it is a joke account. Whatever, I'll just leave my initial response, because my hat's off to whoever got me.
My son walked by me about an hour ago singing; "Flip Flip Fliapdelphia, Flip Flip, Flipadelphia" as awesome as that is, I don't think that is a good thing.
Fannnnnnnnntastic.
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Wait, you know this girl? I assumed she was someone you had never seen before and would never see again. But I guess everyone's related down there...
no that was the first time I met her. figured it out via facebook snoopage.I'm hungry and I want a pizza. stick that in your hat and smoke it!
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Couple things...The joke account sucks. Obviously it isn't me. I love Wang in a totally semi-gay way, afterall...Guap is so similar to me that it's pitiful. He just needs to endure ten more years of marriage. I'm guessing here, but probably closer than we both want to admitIt's a good thing that shake doesn't live in a big city/Vegas...The poor guy would be a TOTAl degenerate. Take this as a compliment my good friendWell,my visit here has concluded. I lost money. Not as much as Clark, thankfully. I'm hanging out at NLV until the family gets here. Wish me a safe flight and I'll see you guys later. It's a damn good thing that I taught the kid to fly. I'm getting too old for this shitAdios,'Amigos...

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Ya know what's weird?Well, other than posting this from a gas station playing video poker while waiting for the family to show up... And omitting the cashiers puzzling look at the guy playing with his phone while drinking beer at the machines?Anyway , a mortal enemy of mine passAed away this week. I hated the bastard with a passion for doing me and my family wrong several times over the years. I always said that I'd piss on his grave when the time cameWell, the time is here but all I feel is remorse. Not that I did anything wrong, other than maybe overreact. I dunno. What the hell, the guy is dead now. Am I happy about it? No. I probably should have buried the hatchet or something. His family surely loved the guy and are in great pain right nowLesson?Beans is a shitass...and life is too short to hold a grudgeThis odd post brought to you by Terribles gas station, boredom, intoxicated weird guy, and a tardy familyI've held four to a straight flush since starting this ramble. Nope, I won't hit it

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The joke account sucks.
Is this the go to move around here when you can't disagree with someone using actual arguments? Well, whatever. and actually you're the joke buddy. and you probably have as much space between your ears as you do between your sentences. lol
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that's weird, they don't look tardy!personally I think life is way too long to not hate people, even if they're dead. of course I'm a soul-less sociopath who is hated by nearly everyone not directly sharing my dna, but still.

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I don't have a problem engaging joke accounts, because, you know...<--------------It's something to respond to, something to have some fun with.I think "you're trying too hard" is supposed to mean that the humor sounds forced and not natural. But it seems to be the go-to move when someone feels picked on because they don't want to imagine that they are so easily mocked. Hollywood does it all the time.

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I think "you're trying too hard" is supposed to mean that the humor sounds forced and not natural.
I think it means that someone is picking nits and failing at being 'mean' about it.
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So 2 weeks from today will be be my last day at work. Due to very restrictive state laws enacted in January of 2010, the company has closed all but 14 of the orginal 98 stores in the state since then. We just closed 30 more to get down to 14 in late July. Thus, over 60 people, including 3 district managers like myself are being laid off. 16 weeks of severance will help ease the blow while I look for a new job though.I've known for more than a month now but the closer it gets the more real it becomes. Especiallyafter having the employee's that are local take my wife and me out for dinner last night. While I won't miss the job, after 8 + yrs I'm ready for a new challenge, I definitely will miss the people I've worked with over the years.I'm not sure why I wrote this other than the sickie thread seems an appropriate place somehow.It is rather liberating to write knowing that most if not all will ignore it. No pressure, you know? heh

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I'm not sure why I wrote this other than the sickie thread seems an appropriate place somehow.It is rather liberating to write knowing that most if not all will ignore it. No pressure, you know? heh
To be fair, that would be the case regardless of which thread you posted this in. I kid...maybe. I'm not sure who ignores whom these days.16 weeks is pretty awesome. Good luck enjoying it as much as possible while still finding a new job. It's a delicate balance.
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Joke account? More like a faggot account.AMIRITE?I wasn't really trying that hard.Hey Randy, your Bengals look awesome.
Yeah, we showed you guys! Ha, and you all tried so hard to take away our title as the worst football team ever, pshaww. Losers! WE GET ANDREW LUCK, WE GET ANDREW LUCK. Just kidding, the mark of being the best at losing is avoiding drafting great players, we'll win some meaningless games at the end of the season to come in 2nd to last.And really, your defensive tackles are good, but we really made them look spectacular!
So 2 weeks from today will be be my last day at work. Due to very restrictive state laws enacted in January of 2010, the company has closed all but 14 of the orginal 98 stores in the state since then. We just closed 30 more to get down to 14 in late July. Thus, over 60 people, including 3 district managers like myself are being laid off. 16 weeks of severance will help ease the blow while I look for a new job though.I've known for more than a month now but the closer it gets the more real it becomes. Especiallyafter having the employee's that are local take my wife and me out for dinner last night. While I won't miss the job, after 8 + yrs I'm ready for a new challenge, I definitely will miss the people I've worked with over the years.I'm not sure why I wrote this other than the sickie thread seems an appropriate place somehow.It is rather liberating to write knowing that most if not all will ignore it. No pressure, you know? heh
Well, sorry to hear that. I don't know what you do but my wife who is very talented and tons of degrees and experience took a year to find work and that was because her old company hired her back. ON the bright side, you can watch the all the TV shows that you've missed over the years as you lay around and wallow in misery.And the most spectacular one is The Glee Project!! Tell me you guys are watching this, right?!
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Just who was that masked drunk bastard?Yeah joke account that I can't remember right now, Im usually the joke. The moral of the story is not to fight natural talentI'm about to mow the lawn... Just about to place the coolers around the property for pit stopsTwitpicsforeveryone!

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SO.... anyways, we were in the huddle house
An intro like this should be accompanied by banjo music, I reckon.
I'm not dead. Love you guys.
I was three days away from calling for help. I'm on a business trip right now. In Tampa, Florida. Embassy Suites---free breakfast buffet, oh yeah. All about the perks.
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To be fair, that would be the case regardless of which thread you posted this in. I kid...maybe. I'm not sure who ignores whom these days.16 weeks is pretty awesome. Good luck enjoying it as much as possible while still finding a new job. It's a delicate balance.
Thanks. I'm hoping not to have too much time off to enjoy. The ironic part is that they've kept me so busy with store closures, traveling etc... that I haven't had as much time to really focus on finding a new job as I would have liked. Clearly that's about to change though...
Well, sorry to hear that. I don't know what you do but my wife who is very talented and tons of degrees and experience took a year to find work and that was because her old company hired her back. ON the bright side, you can watch the all the TV shows that you've missed over the years as you lay around and wallow in misery.And the most spectacular one is The Glee Project!! Tell me you guys are watching this, right?!
Thanks Randy. Currently I'm a district manager for a payday loan/check cashing company. I've done everything from car sales, to retail management to owning my own cellular phone store business. Despite the economy, I'm not too worried about finding something else. Though I don't expect to find a district manager level position and will more than likely have to start down a step or two and prove myself to move back up with a new company. Which I'm fine with.One of my friends/co-workers was laid off last year in the first round of closures. She lived off her severance and unemployment until getting a new job just in the last couple of weeks. But she didn't really start looking for something until about a month before she get a new job.That's great for your wife and a possibility for me but I'm really ready to move on to something different. After more than 8 years I'm a little burned out on this business anyway.
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I'm on a business trip right now. In Tampa, Florida. Embassy Suites---free breakfast buffet, oh yeah. All about the perks.
GAWD WE GET IT YOU HAVE A BETTER JOB THAN ME AND EVEN MORE-SO SHAKE!
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GAWD WE GET IT YOU HAVE A BETTER JOB THAN ME AND EVEN MORE-SO SHAKE!
see, mine was not a real brag post but yours WAS (subtly).It was my sincere hope after passing the bar in just 2 tries to never set foot in Tampa again.
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An intro like this should be accompanied by banjo music, I reckon.I was three days away from calling for help. I'm on a business trip right now. In Tampa, Florida. Embassy Suites---free breakfast buffet, oh yeah. All about the perks.
Free happy hour drinks too I think. Embassy Suites is (are?) still a dump.
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Free happy hour drinks too I think. Embassy Suites is (are?) still a dump.
oh, it's splendidly crappy but it was better than my other options. I'm not making enough use of my living room area though.
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see, mine was not a real brag post but yours WAS (subtly).It was my sincere hope after passing the bar in just 2 tries to never set foot in Tampa again.
No, yours was a very slight humble brag and mine was a joke at Shakes, and to a lesser extent my own, expense as you probably tipped the valet an amount equal to my last paycheck, and so it's a brag akin to the ole "that's like winning a gold medal at the special olympics" analogy. Glad I had to explain this, too. Because that makes it super funny. Also, still less than three you. Unrelated, last week I ended up having drinks with my buddy's older sister, brother-in-law and another couple last week that really made me hate myself. They (aside from my buddy) are in their lower 30's and were bragging about their new jobs at the "most prestigious law firm in Des Moines" and "as a new writer with Fox Sports" and "oh we were at Lollapolooza" and "a mutual acquaintance of ours played a rock show on our old buildings roof after our wedding" and I felt so inadequate. "Oh, how chic of you to be on the rooftop of your Des Moines, IOWA apartment building thats probably six stories high. Last week I drink the majority of a twelve pack of light beer out of the cutoff end of a whiffle bat, how's that for cultured, bitches"
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GAWD WE GET IT YOU HAVE A BETTER JOB THAN ME AND EVEN MORE-SO SHAKE!
well hey you just watch it mister, I've got my mid year review tomorrow where I'm going to go over all my accomplishments and how many thousands of dollars I've saved the company so I can ask for a raise to be just 15 grand under average for my position so they can tell me to fuck off... you just watch me then!
"Oh, how chic of you to be on the rooftop of your Des Moines, IOWA apartment building thats probably six stories high. Last week I drink the majority of a twelve pack of light beer out of the cutoff end of a whiffle bat, how's that for cultured, bitches"
I enjoyed this.
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"Flip Flip Fliapdelphia, Flip Flip, Flipadelphia"
OH SHIT!This is what just happened:guapo: My kid said something that I obviously think everyone will know and think is hilarious.brv: ...SA21 & Speedz: AWESOME!brv: hmm, maybe I'm the one on the outside here.google: "It's always sunny"brv: ... What. The. ****. I don't remember anything about this.google: "Season 5 Episode 12"brv: ... episode 12? The Christmas episode?google: "no. Season 5 had a 12th episode and then the Christmas episode"brv: **** YOU, Google! You're LYING!This is the greatest day of my life. I have a brand new episode of It's Always Sunny to watch.Thanks Guapo, Jr.
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