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I Called In Sick Today


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Unbelievably, I kept my drunk mouth shut once again....Most folks out there tend to place me in a category of.... no, no, no, NO!I'm not getting sucked into this discussion. After all, this is my protege we are talking about. Someone who holds such a special place in my heart that I would do unheard of things to the individual that even threatened to do her harm. Most of you know thats not just a Corona induced threat...In other news,Somehow one of my vehicles came down with a bad exhaust valve. I noticed a misfire on one of the twelve cylinders earlier this evening while sitting in a drive thru. Not one to be complacent, I went straight to the liquor store and then to the shop bay. Nine beers later, Ive come to the conclusion that the patient has two burned valvesThe owner wishes that in lieu of flowers that memorials be sent to Ricambi America to cover any financial hardships that he may incur... Yep, BraveIm back to stagger numeral uno..

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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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So I dunno where Joey is, but in his stead I'll post this awesome cracked article from today.

if you're not interested in the article. #1 is kind of blowing my mind. LLY, you're all logical and everything, right? How the fuck is that trick possible? Here's a short article by a guy who experienced the trick as an audience of 1, which is even more impressive since Berglas wasn't able to make any choices, unlike in the normal trick where he at least chooses which audience members to call on.Somebody here claims he saw Berglas' apprentice (the guy in the video) do the trick with a borrowed deck, shuffled in plain view by somebody else, and never touched by the magician.
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me2: either someone is manipulating the deck or he's very good at knowing/guessing/reading what people will guess or...Nicolas-Cage-Next-Movie-7.jpgEl G: OMG! He's Nic Cage!me2: uhh.JLL: no dummy. he's Jessica Biel.speedz: a bit too old for meshake weight: are you kidding? she's got dumps like a truckbeans: sounds like the bathroom after my wife's meatloaf!because she's a bad cook in my jokesfor laughsvideo coming soonfrank caliendo: I'm not quite sure if you spelled my name right but I know a damn good impression when I see one[me2 note: apparently there was supposed to be some sort of transition between mr. caliendo and jay-z. linda richman was neither rich nor a man. talk amongst yourselves]jay-z: neither do Ibdiddy: 41792_109893079062959_8100_q.jpgLLY: yea. I dunno.Daniel Faraday: and you call yourself a physicistLLY: Last I saw you were playing a redneck with a limpBoyd Crowder: Why if it isn't Deputy US Marshall Raylan Givens from Harlan KentuckyRaylan Givens: [puts hand on gun]essay: [puts hand on gun]El G: I've got a sudden urge to drinkV: ikay!LG: This post is getting dirtytimmy!: I also like the one about the two mexican guys who are the only ones that speak a language but they don't speak to each otherironing: deliciousbrv: oh that reminds me. WIFE!napa: Hey! he's a church going manme2: still funny

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"well I guess she really does just lay there."
hahaha
I'm pretty sure the whole planking trend died about a year ago. The news said something a few weeks ago about a new craze of "owling" which was supposed to be replacing planking, but I don't think it is really catching on.
Well, they do live in Kentucky. We just found out about garbage disposals.
Yeah, this seems like a problem. I'm not sure how you could ever have a relationship where the other person was always reading your posts here on FCP.wait...
ba da bing!
Hm. I just realized that my initial reaction to LG's dude (Tony?) reading this site was too benign. It's actually ****ing hilarious that he read all of the bad shit we said about him (whether or not it was deserved). Frankly, I'd like to read what he has to say on the matter. Tony, look at me. It's time to tell your side of the stories.
I don't think Britian as that much valium, but I'm up for going along with his guest appearance if Mrs. Speedz will as well.
WTF dude, not cool. I thought this was our secret?Dad, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. Rhinestone....touched me.
Hey, BOO BOO!!
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After all, this is my protege we are talking about. Someone who holds such a special place in my heart that I would do unheard of things to the individual that even threatened to do her harm. Most of you know thats not just a Corona induced threat...
What if I was the one who threatened to do her harm? You wouldn't hurt your good ol' buddy speedz, would ya?
LLY, you're all logical and everything, right? How the fuck is that trick possible?
It's not. Think about THAT!
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12 cylinders?
forty eight valves?
It might be one of his Lamborghini Reventón's.
Like I would drive the joke of the supercar world......or at the very least one that has been produced since the late eighties/ mid nineties :huhface:
What if I was the one who threatened to do her harm? You wouldn't hurt your good ol' buddy speedz, would ya?
Of course not...I highly respect those who are not elected,wear a uniform, bang a gavel....not navel Shake, sport a badge, have a marriage document with my name on it, etcPlus you are a sickie...other factors are assisting animals. I ignored the crazy cat guy factor, of courseIn other news, I've determined that bud lite lime is the all around winner of best beer to work on a car with. No limes to mess with plus it comes in a can that you can crush and take out frustrations with...I also have terminal hickups at this moment
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Like I would drive the joke of the supercar world...
why is it a joke? I thought that thing looked pretty boss. and I just bought a lottery ticket, so I need to start doing my research now.
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yep, that'll be the first thing I buy if I win the lottery.and them maybe the car too badumching and I have to imagine beans is talking about a testarossa. can't picture him in a lambo.

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I ignored the crazy cat guy factor, of course
Hey, owning a dog along with my two cats keeps me from being a crazy cat guy, I think. Right? RIGHT? But anyways, I'll take this as an opportunity to give you all a pet update, even though LG was the only one who cared, and now she probably doesn't anymore because she thinks I'm an ass.Everyone I know agrees that I got incredibly lucky with Griz. He's incredibly sweet, fun, and well behaved. He's great at being a dog:G1.jpgBut he's also great at mellowing out at home...and reeling in the ladies:G2.jpgDewey is still quite possibly an evil genius:D1.jpgCheeto gets sweeter by the day:C1.jpgAnd we're now a relatively happy family all around:A2.jpg
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lamborghini-countach-red-1986.jpg
Nope... cant fit in that at all
why is it a joke? I thought that thing looked pretty boss. and I just bought a lottery ticket, so I need to start doing my research now.
I saw the first one off the boat in the US...Nothing more than a standard Lambo with a factory body kit. And some fancy instruments. Seems like it was around four hundred thousand more than a standard car. Yeah.
and I have to imagine beans is talking about a testarossa. can't picture him in a lambo.
If you are talking about a previous totaled vehicle bought from an auction and restored with aftermarket parts for a third of its actual value....WINNER!Its a hobby. As far as buying a new car in that category these days Id be up Shakes roof without a shingle. Damn Im a funny fuck after drinking all day, huh?Having access to a machine shop and enough technical knowledge to put a round peg in a square hole allows me to play with such toys without being rich or smart. I sure as hell dont need to be hanging around any beauty contests, either. I threw that in there just in case anyone put me in the Sonny Crockett category
Ya, that makes more sense. I guess I thought that was a V-8. I blame brvheart for putting Lambo in my head. Crockett & Tubb's is more up Beans alley.
:fiveoclockshadowface:
G2.jpg
Just one more reason Id love to be able to lick my own...WHAT!?Since Im seeing double Ill sign off now
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Well my asshole hypocrite of a boyfriend caught a glimpse of this page on my computer and went off and found it later. He read my recent posts, all the stuff about him, and he is now asking me not to go into so much detail about him, update y'all so often etc. He still hasn't actually apologised for invading my privacy. So I guess I can't post anything personal here any more because I won't know if he is reading.
It's never stopped me. Well, it has, but... whatever, that girl totally should have fucked Derek Jeter. In other news, I am still not posting here or anything, but this made me think of JoeyJoJo and nostalgic for some old-school shenanigans HEART.png
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I saw the first one off the boat in the US...Nothing more than a standard Lambo with a factory body kit. And some fancy instruments. Seems like it was around four hundred thousand more than a standard car. Yeah.
well huh. I thought it was supposed to be all super awesome and stuff. oh well, didn't win the lottery anyways so it'll have to wait a few more months.
If you are talking about a previous totaled vehicle bought from an auction and restored with aftermarket parts for a third of its actual value....WINNER!
I've never been into older/classic cars much, I mean I like them when they come out, but once they're dated I tend to lose interest and not care about anything but newer models, but I gotta say that the 512TR is still one of my favorite looking cars all around. I'm assuming you have the model right before that since those were the most popular (I think). either way, testarossa's are rad.I see down there that tactical bear and brvheart have also posted between the time I started posting and now. at 5:45 in the morning. that's weird. gonna go read what they have to say!and speedz: still gay.
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yeah I thought that was weird too. I think I opened up the thread earlier, went and did something else, then came back and posted without refreshing.but this is a good time to ask now that I think about it: are you still awake or already up? you're like an hour behind me and you post at weird times.

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